Fug File: Candids

Better Played, Beyonce


Wig is not okay. Wig is still making a case for itself for a Fug Madness berth, assuming another inanimate object has the stones to step forward and nominate itself as Wig’s opponent.

Beyonce

But I can’t lie, that day dress and those pumps and the leather jacket are REALLY quirky and cute together, especially when you throw in the sunglasses that even make Wig look marginally hotter. Maybe Bey has just lowered my expectations and therefore my resistance, but I’m giving her some fashion props for figuring out how to counterbalance the injustice she’s doing to her head. I know, I can’t beylieve it either.

[Photo: AKM-GSI]

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Well Played, Amal Alamuddin Clooney


It seems on her official website Amal has changed her name to Clooney. I actually don’t generally care one way or the other what people do with their surnames after marriage, as long as it’s what’s right for them and their family. But in this specific case, I HAD sort of hoped she would be like, “Thanks, Intern George, but I already had this thing on lock without you.”

Edited to add: This link about what she’s doing in Greece is lifted from the comments. She’s working for Greece in its fight to get the Elgin Marbles — fifth-century antiquities that were part of the Parthenon – returned there from the U.K. That sounds like an extremely fun day job. I would LOVE to fight with people over who gets the awesome art. Joint custody, anyone?

[Photos: Getty, Splash, AKM-GSI]

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Casual WTFery: Kim Kardashian


Well, this is GREAT NEWS for me. I have totally had an infestation of closet moths and now I know that I ought to just let them eat! THANKS KIM.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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What the Fugly Fug Fuggery: Kim Kardashian and North West in Givenchy


I can’t even go into GFY Kanye mode for this one. If you ever wanted to believe the rumors about Riccardo Tisci and Kanye West, and/or any jealousies he might be feeling about this little family unit, then today is your lucky day. Because one could easily interpret this as an act of someone OUT FOR REVENGE.

Kim Kardashian, North West, Kanye West going to Givenchy

Regardless: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO RAPACIOUS DIPSHITS. THAT IS YOUR CHILD. (Whose face, by the way, was blurred by the photo service.) You want to wear ratty old boots with elaborate karate duds, Kanye? Fine. You want to wear see-through pants with a negligee leotard, and look like a lacy joke, Kim? It’s your life. Be hideous if you want to, be desperate if you want to, be tasteless if you want to; be transparent in every sense of that word, if that’s what really makes you feel purposeful and alive. That’s your business. But YOU HAVE PUT YOUR TODDLER IN A SHEER DRESS-SHIRT-TUNIC NIGHTMARE. SHE IS NOT EVEN TWO.

You shouldn’t be putting that poor girl in clothes with a whiff of Trashy Lingerie about them. There is NO REASON for her to be wearing a custom dress that’s made in the image of something ostensibly sexy. A little kid in a sundress from Gymboree is one thing, but this sucker is designed to show skin ,with a modesty strip and transparency above AND BELOW it. IT’S INCREDIBLY CREEPY, YOU GUYS. She is not your accessory. She is your child. And if you’ve made the decision to put her in the public eye, again, whatever, it’s your family; that’s your call. Just please think about how you do it. Please USE the brains you’ve so assiduously applied to the pursuit and attainment of fame and wealth, and think about her well-being and future and not just your own. I mean, sure, we’ve all come to expect you to be a little icky and disappointing, but why must you find a way to top yourselves? Not every sundae needs a cherry on top. Don’t be jackwagons.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Casual WTFday: Jennifer Hudson


I love it when the expression on the faces of the civilians in a candid photo matches my own:

Ravishing Jennifer Hudson is red hot in her daisy dukes

In this case, both Rolling Stones Sweatshirt and I are thinking, “did she SERIOUSLY wear that on Watch What Happens Live? Because it looks more like a costume for an updated reboot of Chicago and — oh, hey, now that I think about it, that might totally be good. Okay, everyone carry on.”

[Photo: AKM/GSI]

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Fugs and Fines: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West


“MAN, I LOOK CHILL, BUT LET ME EXPLAIN THE WAYS THAT MY LIFE IS A DAMN CRAZY TRAIN. PHOTOGRAPHERS AND PEOPLE JUST CAN’T REFRAIN FROM OBSESSING OVER ME AND MY MAIN, MY ART IS SO DOPE THAT INSPIRATION NEVER WANES AND SOMETIMES I THINK IT’LL EXPLODE FROM MY VEINS, ‘CAUSE THE RAIN IN SPAIN DOES NOT STAY MAINLY IN THESE PLAINS, AND BEING YEEZUS THE SAVIOR CAN BE A TOTAL DRAIN AND SOMETIMES DAMMIT I JUST WANT A COAT LIKE ICHABOD CRANE’S. WHAT DOES A GUY HAVE TO DO TO GET A REVOLUTIONARY WAR-ERA PROP COAT. I’M SERIOUS. DO I NEED TO WRITE HIM SOME RHYMES? BECAUSE THIS BLAZER IS NOT HAPPENING. IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT SHIRT AND DOES NOT COMPLEMENT MY LEATHER MEGGINGS AND IT HURTS ME RIGHT IN MY GENIUS BAR.

[PHOTOS: FAME/FLYNET, AKM-GSI]

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