Fug File: Candids

Fug Tok

Nov 27, 2013 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

If Ke$ha was in costume as Depressed Lady Gaga earlier in the week…

…Then I suppose this has to count as Sleepy Michael Jackson?

[Photo: Splash]

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Insert New Kim Kardashian Fug Pun Here

Nov 20, 2013 By Heather AT 1:00 pm

“EVERYONE, COME BE CONGREGATING BECAUSE WE NEED TO DO SOME CONVERSATING. MY LADY’S NERVES WERE DEBILITATING, BUT NOW SHE’S OUT PARTICIPATING, EXCEPT HER SHIRTS ARE DISSIPATING AND IT’S NOT WHAT I WAS ANTICIPATING. I DON’T MEAN TO BE FACILITATING UNDERBOOB-MUSTACHE-HATING, BUT I’M STRUGGLING WITH ARTICULATING WHAT IT IS SHE’S ILLUSTRATING.. BUT SHE SAID THAT THIS IS TITILLATING, AND I SAY IT’S JUST AGGRAVATING, CALCULATING, NOT A SHIRT BUT JUST MASQUERADING. AND IT’S ME SHE’S INCRIMINATING WITH THIS BAD DECISION-MAKING. HELP ME ‘CAUSE SHE NEEDS PERSUADING. I’M WISHING I COULD BE ESCAPING. INSTEAD I’M HIDING IN SOMETHING INSULATING BUT MAYBE THIS WAS OVER-COMPENSATING. THESE PEOPLE ARE ANNIHILATING. DOES ANYONE HAVE PASTRY?”

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugging Up With the Fugdashians

Nov 19, 2013 By Jessica AT 12:00 pm

One of my favorite things is when the people who write the captions for our photo service get snarky. (Surprisingly, this line item was omitted from “My Favorite Things” in The Sound of Music, despite the fact that Fraulein Maria surely spent hours examining Rihanna’s wardrobe on Splash News. There are so many rhymes for “snarky,” too. May I suggest “malarkey”?)

For example, whomever was in charge of popping this photo up on the website noted that Kim “looked very camera ready” (read: “no one would wear this if she weren’t in desperate need of attention, and we know that because she phoned us and said, ‘come on out, I’m in desperate need of attention.”’) and also that she “stunned” in all white, which is TECHNICALLY TRUE because this IS stunning and I do feel stunned by it. I can only assume that said writer found him or herself typing, “also, this shirt makes her look like she’s wearing a breastplate the likes of which I have previously only seen on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but that’s crazy because I know these are actually attached to her body!” and “OMG, RIGHT YOU GUYS?” and also “um, why can’t I think up a better joke about fishing nets? I blame working this crazy night shift!” before thinking better of it and hitting Ye Olde Delete. And a lot of Kim’s look would have been well-served had it been treated to, at the very least, a find-and-replace.

[Photo: Splash]

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Casual Fuggerday: Sharon Stone

Nov 16, 2013 By Jessica AT 12:00 pm

In which we learn that Sharon Stone wears a gold lamé jacket to the airport:

I’m not kidding when I say that this information actually makes me feel better about humanity and the world in general.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Casual Fuggerday: Nicole Scherzinger

Nov 16, 2013 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

YES, this is a catsuit:

I just sincerely wish I could be a fly on the wall to observe when people make the life choices that lead to them wearing a catsuit like this out of the house to an event that is not: (a) cat-burgling (b) their job as a stuntperson (c) performing in Vegas as a J Lo impersonator. Because I am sure the words, “it’s so flattering” are never uttered, nor, “but I feel so natural in this,” or “this is just easy” or “I just want to have a good time and not worry about what I’m wearing” or “it’s really easy to pee in this.” I suspect I would overhear, “well, I’m desperate for attention right now,” or “I’m just dying for a yeast infection,” though.

[Photo: PacCoast News]

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Casual Fuggerday: Steven Tyler

Nov 9, 2013 By Jessica AT 9:00 am

In fairness, he may simply be conducting a social experiment to see how many people give him spare change.

[Photo: Pac Coast News]

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