Well Played, Helen Mirren/Not So Much, Andrea Riseborough


ANDREA RISEBOROUGH: Someone else wore this dress recently, and I can’t remember who.

HELEN MIRREN: Just smile and think of England, dear.

ANDREA: It didn’t look super great on whoever it was, either.

HELEN: Darling, just pretend everything is fine.

ANDREA: This WOULD be a kind of great dress if I were secretly pregnant, though. It has a flattering bump ruffle!

HELEN: Yes, yes. Stop obsessing. You don’t have to wear it again. Look happy for the cameras, lamb chop.

ANDREA: Are you trying to get me to shut up?

HELEN: Yes. I want to talk about ME and how great I look.

ANDREA: You almost always look great.

HELEN: This is true. Fair enough, dear, commence further nattering over your fluff muffle, or whatever it was you were going on about.

ANDREA: Oh, never mind.

HELEN: Peace at last.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (31):

  1. Lina
    0

    Oh, Andrea Riseborough, just because Marchesa sends you a dress does not mean you have to wear it. In fact, for nearly all their dresses, just say no.

    • Lina
      0

      Oops, didn’t mean to hit post yet. I wanted to add how weird it is seeing Helen Mirren as a platinum blonde. I adore her, but this is not her usual fabulous white hair. It’s a little disconcerting.

      • witjunkie
        0

        Oh, you’re right. But trust Mirren to go blonde in PRECISELY the right shade.

  2. TaraMisu
    0

    Hmm. Take off the ruffles and it would be passable. Boring, but passable.
    And a HUGE no to the mirror shoes… fug.

  3. jerkygirl
    0

    Standing next to Helen Mirren would make almost anyone look bad, so I feel for the girl, but in that dress. . .man, she looks so bad she’s almost a cartoon!!! The look on her face seems to say “crap, man, I got dressed in the dark, showed up in this monstrosity, and now I’m being photographed next to Helen Effin’ Mirren, could I POSSIBLY look any worse???”

  4. pidget
    0

    Can I be Helen when I’m a grown-up? Pleeeeease?

  5. theotherjennifer
    0

    What is Helen Mirren drinking that she looks so damn great all the time?? Can they bottle it – I would totally buy that.

  6. gladly
    0

    I demand that “fluff muffle” become a thing: you can choose to what it refers, but I want more occasions to use it.

    • Chaosmastersf
      0

      Fluff Muffle FTW! \o/

      • Petrova Fossil
        0

        When I first saw “fluff muffle”, I read it as “muff ruffle,” which, while deeply vulgar, is apt.

  7. Carolina Girl
    0

    Andrea’s dress sucks, but I dig her shoes.

  8. Lynne
    +1

    Oh, look. More than one daft starlet wore Marchesa’s tribute to tissue dispensers. Seriously, is there no one who can stop Marchesa?

  9. vandalfan
    0

    You know, I’m not even all that sold on Helen’s outfit. I’d edit out the pink fringed neck cowl. And if the upper fluff-muffle Kleenex dispenser was removed, the white dress would simply be a bad but acceptable costume for Jessica Rabbit. And she’s a cartoon.

  10. elle
    0

    I love the fact that HM is resolutely NOT LOOKING …

  11. mary lou bethune
    0

    Helen looks utterly fantastic. The dress is one of the prettiest I have seen in ages. Really, she can do no wrong. love her.

  12. ceecee
    0

    If Andrea catches a cold, at least she’ll have plenty of tissues handy.

  13. Coco
    0

    Totally agree with jerkygirl. You’re probably going to fail when you stand next to Helen Mirren, but it doesn’t mean you can’t put a little effort into it.

  14. foo
    0

    Her boobs and crotch are both wearing Sam Elliott’s mustache. Ha! (or Wilford Brimley’s) Never a good look except on Sam Elliott.

    HM looks great in that color, but she always does. I really think she knows the charm of making.

    • AmandaD
      0

      Ha! Sam Elliott’s ‘stache is a national treasure, but this is not the way to commemorate it.

  15. ChristopherD
    0

    La MIRREN looks, as usual, elegant and appropriately dressed. It actually looks like it might be vintage.
    The other is just a fail, shoe fail, veil/fluffmuffle fail, and without it’s still a fail, boring!

  16. Caroleena Stantonova
    0

    Yeh, Andrea’s dress is discombobulated, but I do so covet her shoes. gimme gimme!

  17. Tatiana
    0

    I’ve lost track of how we got here, but I am in complete agreement with AmandaD that Sam Elliot’s mustache is a national treasure. I got a little excited just writing that… :)

    Pidget, Girlfriend, I hear ya: I want to be Helen when I grow up, too!

    And Fugly Girls: thank you for existing. For years, you have cracked me up every night after work. That, Ladies, is priceless.

  18. Geemee
    0

    Aaaaaaand my Helen Mirren crush continues unabated. Love that dress, love the warmth the blonde gives her face. That chick with her, on the other hand. Just … no. The dress gives her the hips of two women, stuck on top of skinny skinny legs. The scraped-back hair doesn’t help. Time to fire the stylist.

  19. Ann
    0

    Call me crazy but I totes wanna bang la Mirren.

    • Geemee
      0

      I’m SO glad you said that! I absolutely want to make out with her and I’m straight. Except for her, apparently.

  20. spider42
    0

    Hah! That really is one hell of a silly outfit!

    And Helen Mirren is truly a most remarkable woman! Still a stunner!

  21. Mahastee
    0

    I don’t mind the white dress, which is confusing as it is not conventionally flattering. Love the shoes, but not the purse.

    Mirren always looks great, but I don’t get the boob bandana. What IS that?

  22. segf
    0

    http://mcaf。ee/6bas9
    Merry christmas!!!

  23. CB
    0

    That would be “Who is Michelle Monaghan?”, for $200, Andrea.

  24. Jade
    0

    I just love Helen Mirren. She is always so beautiful!