Fug or Fab: Jennifer Aniston


fug-or-fab

We had a TON of e-mails about this dress, ranging from, “Jennifer Aniston wore orange and she looks AWESOME,” to, “Ugh, did you see Jennifer Aniston in her vagina-boobs dress?”

I see both sides of that. Part of me thinks this is really pretty, and part of me — although maybe just because the image has been put in my head — think it does something sort of raunchy to her chest, although I might’ve gone with Buttock Boobs instead. Also, the way it bags around her groin kind of looks like a tongue sticking out at me. And the hair looks decidedly meh — a little brassy and overbleached, although not where it counts (hi, roots!). Maybe it’s self-sabotage, like she’s trying to thwart her enduring hair fame.

But, you know, it’s orange! Jennifer Aniston never wears orange. Does she get points for trying? Or does the Fug Nation scoreboard tolerate no mercy rule?

Decide!

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Comments (62):

  1. Zuzzie
    0

    I don’t mind the boob bit as much as I mind the draping around her stomach. Someone with that body should not have to do stomach draping, ever.
    She still looks banging though. Points.

  2. k
    0

    The baggy hem is what really drives me up the wall. I really don’t get that trend.

  3. Lina
    0

    The color is great & I’m still happy to see her out wearing anything-but-black, no matter how awful the outfits are. But who designed this mess?? I do not ever want to see peekaboo boob-vulva. Ever. Possibly it was meant to be worn only by waif-thin models with no cleavage whatsoever? I really can’t see any other possibility here.

  4. amy
    0

    Not to be too clinical, but I see a view of vocal cords down a gaping alien mouth. Possibly one of the most unflattering dresses ever.

    I still maintain her stylist hates her.

  5. Libby
    0

    She’s wearing a color!! Ok, that’s all I got.

  6. Share
    0

    I think this would be stunning without the boob-slit. As it is, it makes the look cheap (I say, clutching my pearls).

  7. Cecily
    0

    The orange is great but boobs, vag, vulva, ass crack images are ruining this for me. That and the bulgy groin area, which in tandem with the rest is just making me lose my breakfast.

  8. Rayna
    0

    It’s good that it’s a color! But that’s where it stops being good.

    And a nice color at that, but the multiple “ewww” areas just kill the whole thing.

    Really, how can someone that blond, that thin, that rich, etc., look that BAD???

  9. The Other Molly
    0

    I agree with K, the hem makes me want to grab a needle and thread.
    I also agree with Lina and her well said “peek-a-boo boob vulva” comment.
    It ruins anything that could have been good about this dress.
    On a personal note, I’m so sick of this woman.
    Can’t she stop making low rated, barely funny comedies and go away now?

  10. MoPo
    0

    I’m reminded not so much of a vagina as I am the one-eyed orange creature on “Yo Gabba Gabba” with a squintier, more evil-looking eye. So yay, I guess.

  11. Jill
    0

    the hem is awful, the hair is a wreck, she has a baggy crotch, and someone tore open her boobs. AWFUL.

  12. Tracy L
    0

    So maybe it’s supposed to be a halter–she was supposed to put her head through the hole? As is, it’s way too tarty for someone of her age and success.

  13. AndersonicTK421
    0

    Dear Jennifer,
    Don’t bother looking so superior just because you’re wearing an actual color. While the color may be a coup over the rest of your clozzzzzzzzzzzz – oh! wardrobe! Wardrobe…

    Dear Jennifer & Everyone: Stop putting needles full of shit into your faces. It does NOT provide the plump, dewy pall of youth but rather ages you in approximately 100 ways.
    See Also: “Madam” puppet, mutton as lamb

  14. Willow
    0

    It makes her boobs look horribly like the asscrack of a builder bending over. Not fun.

  15. Sally
    0

    Other Molly, that hem makes me want to grab an iron. Why is this puckered, unpressed hem look a trend? My aunt could hem a dress in the car on the way to a party and it looked a million times better than this.

  16. WandaSue
    0

    The peek-a-boobs just add to the overall cheese of the dress. She looks so tired that I get tired looking at her.

  17. Alejandro & Cilantro
    0

    Oh God! Her boobs are Sauron!

  18. Amy
    0

    At least Leona Lewis had the good sense to keep her boob lips closed. I like that she’s wearing a color, but I’m thinking the gaping chest crack would have been less obvious in a neutral. Can’t win here.

  19. that girl
    +1

    I think the dress would be acceptable without the boob slit. She also has gone a little overboard on the bronzer.

  20. Jill Hummelstein
    0

    It’s a halter dress that she was too much in a hurry to put on right.

  21. I.K.
    0

    hahaha, SAURON BOOBS

  22. Lookingglass
    0

    Even with the baggy mid-section she would look great – yay bright colors! But OMG, now that I’ve seen the labia boobs, I can’t scrub it from my brain.

  23. Chasmosaur
    0

    This is a Vivienne Westwood, which explains all the weird draping. All of the current collections feature it. However, I couldn’t seem to find the butt-crack neckline.

    Bravo for the color, but for God’s sake, go to Armani or Versace, or even McQueen (the artistic could be balanced by the most amazing simple construction). You have the money, woman.

  24. Chasmosaur
    0

    @I.K.

    I don’t know about anyone else, but that’s my favorite Comment of the Day.

  25. essex
    0

    Wow, I think it’s great. I can see what people are criticizing but the dress just reads as simple-drapey-summer-sexy for me. I think she does “Yep, I’m putting a bull’s eye on my sexy bits, in case there was any doubt” with as much class as can be done. Maybe it’s because she keeps the rest (hair, makeup, accessories, talent) so quiet, it works for me. Don’t know.

  26. Gigi
    0

    Total ass-crack boobs. We geddit, Jennifer. You’re still hot in your 40s. Yawn!

    Would have been a thousand times better with that vulva sewn shut. Sorry that sounds like mutilation, which I don’t support!

  27. Sneza
    0

    Weirdest neckline / bodice ever. I can’t even see Forever 21 copying this.

  28. melissa
    0

    i just keep thinking “deflated FUPA”.

  29. Mongerel
    0

    Sauron…

    /thread.

  30. jerkygirl
    0

    a) ROTFL @ Sauron boobs!!! Is she wearing a ring that has flaming elvish script written around it? RUN, LITTLE HOBBITS, RUN!!!
    b) Jennifer Aniston is wearing a color!!! Next up: Lady Gaga wears khakis and sneakers.
    c) I don’t know what it is today, but it seems like this is the 9 millionth reference to clothing that looks like ladyparts that I’ve seen across the intertoobz. What is UP with that???

  31. Lynne
    0

    Love the color. The neckline problem? It looks like the dress is supposed to be a halter and she’s just wearing it wrong. With the neck strap in front. It’s very distracting.

  32. essex
    0

    “Can’t she stop making low rated, barely funny comedies and go away now?”

    No, she cannot. For the same reason that sharks can never stop swimming.

    “… would have been less obvious in a neutral.”

    I still love it as is, but… good point.

  33. jenelope
    0

    Orange! Yes! Boobs! Wha…?

    I don’t see a vagina. I do see YoGabbaGabba and Sauron. I also see ninja boobs. They can peek out from behind their mask and then stab us with the katana they’ve hidden in her heels.

  34. K
    0

    so how does this even work? lots of tape, I’m guessing. I mean it is drapey so it doesn’t seem like the vulva/Sauron/boob window would stay up on its own, and the top doesn’t seem tight enough to mash her boobs like that without some assistance, so perhaps she has tape or an ACE bandage wrapped tightly around her torso? Also, it is a great color, but perhaps it is what makes her hair look brassy? I like the (very limited) part of the torso part from below the peep show to the waist, and the color (though maybe not ultimately for her), so it seems like it could have worked, but just never came together…kind of like something that someone on Project Runway started, then tried to re-work at the eleventh hour then ran out of time and just taped together (and to the person wearing it) and just prayed that someone else screwed up worse.

  35. Samina
    0

    Why are Jennifer Aniston’s boobs smiling at me?

  36. Mary
    0

    Good lord, Jen, that’s supposed to go around your NECK! Thus holding up the material and eliminating the saggy groin!

  37. The Other Molly
    0

    I was so fixated on the dress, I forgot.
    The shoes are boring as hell.
    Hey, just go barefoot next time, instead of wearing shoes people can barely see.

  38. KSCnCA
    0

    Yeah, the shoes are a big waste. Not flattering on her feet, do nothing to distract from the sewing class wreck of a dress. Plus I am on a strict budget and my roots look much better than hers.

  39. Sajorina
    0

    Demerits!!! The only thing I like about this is the hair cut! It’s either FUG or BLAH or PUT IT AWAY everywhere else!

  40. Hannah
    0

    PRAISE THE LORD it is a COLOR!!!!!!!!!!! And it is a vast improvement from the pink atrocity she wore some months back. MAJOR POINTS!

  41. Ares
    0

    It’s not beige, which is a start.

    On the other hand, it’s shocking that you have carelessly draped halter-that-didn’t-happen that still manages to cinch her boobs so tightly they look like there might be a spill-over near her right armpit.

    Also, I worry that people felt the boob-crack follow them as they moved around the room.

  42. Kate
    0

    She always wears those shoes and I HATE THEM.

  43. Jess Goodwin
    0

    You guys, it’s cool — she’s going berry-picking and needs someplace to store them all.

  44. becs
    0

    Hate the boob window, but love the color.

  45. alexandra
    0

    To be fair, i think the lighting in this photo is worse than some others of her at this event -makes her hair look brassy and her leg tan a bit weird. Also, dress looked better in motion rather than sagging as it does in this pose.

    However, the breast sandwich display would not look good under any light/in any posture.

  46. yeahandalso
    0

    I don’t know if it is the dress color or the hair color, but something is making her look a lot older than usual. She is normally sort of tan and healthy looking, here she looks kinda haggard

  47. anon
    0

    OMG she’s got Klingon cleavage — Duras Sisters from Star Trek TNG, anyone?

  48. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I love how she looks and crossed feet works with a bit of action for once. I’m not keen on the cleavage revealing lips.

  49. Mahastee
    0

    Even in this, I find her dead boring. I wish she would just join a decent TV show with an ensemble cast, and stop pretending to be relevant to movies. Apart from The Good Girl, I can’t think of a single film role she’s done that was remotely interesting/memorable.

    Also, I know I’m probably wrong, but are these the only shoes she has?

  50. maria
    0

    It’s a halter. She obviously was making out with Vince Vaughn/Adrien Brody/John Mayer in the limo on the way over and things got out of hand and she had to get out of the car before she had time to put her dress back on. Also explains the messy head.

  51. Su-Yin Johns
    0

    when did vivienne westwood forget how to hem a dress? i actually like this, crotch-tongue and all. it’s just poorly executed and jen is too boring to carry it off.

  52. vandalfan
    0

    It’s not black. There you go.

  53. Anne B
    0

    @Jill Hummelstein and @maria are onto something. That number is a HALTER. And messy as it is, I approve.

    This whole thing spells progress: It’s bright, she’s not touching her hair **at all**, and her dress misfire is clear evidence that she’s got better things to do with her time than hang out on red carpets. Like bang people we don’t know in places we know nothing about.

    YAY JEN. WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THE DRESS. GET YOU SOME MORE OF THAT.

    Fab. :)

  54. Louisa
    0

    If people love her enough to give her credit for wearing a color, that’s fine. BUT, from the quadraboob thing with the open mouth gap to the bulgy thing going around her famous abs, to the sagging thing right at her crotch, to the hem that her cab driver pinned up on the way over, I just can’t sign off on this mess. She can do better, with almost anything in her closet.

  55. caro
    0

    Orange juice could squirt from those tightly squeezed boobies!!
    New Tropicana spokewoman!

  56. caro
    0

    Orange juice could squirt from those tightly squeezed boobies!!

  57. Leah
    0

    OMG I could NOT post yesterday and was dying to say that I see big red wax lips with two buck teeth.

  58. Cam
    0

    Her tan is terrible. She looks like Han Solo after he was dipped in to that metal crap. But I like the dress. I think that her unfortunate pose is making it look like something is sticking out of her vag. Great colour too.

  59. ddukes
    0

    love it. word was every guy in the room had his eyes on her.

    marissa tomei wore this dress, too.

  60. Lunita
    0

    @Andersonic: can you put my name on that Dear Jennifer letter too? Thank you.

    Hmm…if every guy had his eyes on her, maybe it was because the dress is channeling all that body-part imagery and making the subconsciously think of sex.

  61. Valentina
    0

    She’s starting to look old in a bad way.

  62. Eric
    0

    jen,jen go away don’t want to see your stupid face again