Fug Madness 2020 Round One: Will Rita Ora Defend Her Title?

First! Did you miss our editable bracket? This link will open it! Next: The photos we show aren’t the ONLY ones in consideration; just a representative sample of everything worn from after the Oscars in 2019, through Feb. 10, 2020. Polls close after roughly 24 hours. Vote on any device, as often as you want to or can. 

Jump to each matchup’s poll, if you want to check results:

(1) Rita Ora vs. (16) Emma Roberts · (8) Katy Perry vs. (9) Cara Delevingne · (5) Emily Ratajkowski vs. (12) Rihanna · (4) Chloe Sevigny vs. (13) Tove Lo

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(1) Rita Ora vs. (16) Emma Roberts

Rita Ora is our reigning champion, and is always the case with a champion, the question becomes: But can she do it again? Unlike some previous Fug Madness winners, Rita didn’t rest of her laurels. She BROUGHT it this year. Look at this melange of denim! Or this festival of thigh! Or all this red satin! OR THIS:

She looks like a lovely sea creature. And certainly much happier there than she is here, in what is maybe….a satin diaper?  This might be actual pajamas. This is for sure not real clothing. And this is of course what I like to call THE FORMAL MERMAID:

I don’t even know what to call this! Perhaps it’s just !!!!!!!!!!

Here, I at least have to salute her commitment to pattern:

Concerned Rita doesn’t deserve this number one seeding? Does this help convince she’s legit to repeat?

Or this truly confusing concoction? How about this salute to 2005? This, too, feels DEEPLY aughts.

BIG FINISH:

Can Emma Roberts bring any utensils at all to this knife fight? Let’s find out.

First off, this is very bad:

And I  TRULY think that Rita Ora would actually wear this look:

I like this except for one aspect of it that I disliked SO much that I made a typo that I’m not going to go in there and fix at this late date. I still don’t know if this is a Halloween costume or not:

It was sort of AROUND Halloween and some people wore costumes to that event and some did not and…the fact that I can’t tell is probs not great??? (Although also may have been an attempt on her part to thread that needle.)

And that’s about the size of it. Rita should coast here, but Fug Madness is nothing if not unpredictable and it is in your hands:

(8) Katy Perry vs. (9) Cara Delevingne

Alert ! Katy Perry recently announced that she and Orlando Bloom are expecting a bebe. (I suspected as much when I saw this look, frankly.)  She’s due this summer but I don’t know when exactly, so it’s sort of hard to figure out when her pregnancy started impacting her looks; I’ve tried to confine this to probable pre-preggers looks, though. (She actually wasn’t out for about three months-ish, which makes me think she might have been home barfing then. Mazel, Katy, regardless!)

Katy went through a period at the beginning of the eligibility period where she had a real Dorinda of RHoNY vibe, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. She’s pretty unrecognizable here, too.  This is very bridesmaidel, if also sort of cute.  (She also RETURNED to her Real Housewives vibe HERE.)

This is also the year that Katy wore a cheeseburger (to the Met Gala afterparties; in her defense [??] the theme WAS camp):

And on the same night, dressed as Lumiere:

This just makes me confused about her body temperature, and THIS is just confusing. This is at least whimsical:

This is predictably costume-y, while this is costume-y AND D&G. This was sort of questionably styled:

She doesn’t even look like herself here:

And this is A LOT:

SPEAKING OF A LOT:

In other similarities, Cara ALSO wore foodstuffs to the Met Gala, and also has spent a lot of time with Katy’s partner. She also, like Katy, clearly occasionally likes to pay homage to Madonna.

Cara can carry off a LOT, thanks to being a professional model, but I don’t know if even she can make this work:

Or this:

OR THIS, the back of which is also BAD:

This is just confusing, and this is….this:

(5) Emily Ratajkowski vs. (12) Rihanna

In which two women with great faces and sometimes questionable wardrobes MEET AT LAST.  I must warn you that Rihanna kept her great face home a lot more this year than she has in years past. ARE YOU WORKING ON AN ALBUM RIHANNA? WE NEED IT. Ahem. Sorry. I just….really like Rihanna. ANYWAY. Emily, who I actually also sort of like as a person (we share many political thoughts, like that Harvey Weinstein sucks and the earth is in bad shape), did not neglect her outfits this year. Nor did she neglect her abs!

In fairness, her abs ARE very impressive. Also please recall that her Met Gala look was, as we called it at the time, “nipple forward.”  While we’re on the topic:

Related:

I feel like this might have been better if it HAD abs:

Remember bike shorts? Here’s a reminder:

She wore them more than once! And please do not forget the following:

Rihanna cannot compete with cow pants. But she did wear a lot of satin — or, at the very least, more satin than I personally would have anticipated from her. Like so:

And this. And this, which is questionable despite the fact that she does look kind of great in it. This was also not great, with the also usual caveat that her face as ever is fantastic.

How long has it been since Rihanna wore a pattern, is a thought that just occurred to me. Does this count?

I feel like….maybe?

These sunglasses make me laugh:

And NOW:

(4) Chloe Sevigny vs. (13) Tove Lo

Chloe is ALSO pregnant — mazel to her as well! — but I truly think she’d have worn this regardless:

This — pre-pregnancy — is truly confounding, but also entertaining, which is clearly the best possible combination of things:

It’s not Fug Madness without a giant bow on someone:

Chloe was sort of into….flappy stuff (a technical fashion term) this year, too:

This was also not successful by any stretch of the words:

On the other hand, I might want to frame this and hang it in the bathroom, it makes me laugh so very much:

This is less fun, though her lipstick is great. This is like Sexy Puritan Gone Wild, and this has REALLY perplexing construction. 

On that tip:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And what of Tove Lo?! Our Lady of the Ovary dress is BACK! And, to be frank, I think she and Chloe might dig each other’s wardrobes. Like, Chloe Sevigny would TOTALLY wear this:

I also, frankly, wouldn’t be surprised to see her turn up in this vintage Vivienne Westwood:

WOULD Chloe Sevigny opt for totally see-through plastic pants? Discuss:

At least if you spill, you can wipe them down. Practical! I don’t think she would, to be frank. But I DO think she’d be seduced by this giant jean jacket — if she doesn’t already have one:

Not to mention this entire situation:

or rwords:

(Do we think the Sev owns Tevas? Because I suspect she might. Fashion Tevas, but Tevas just the same.)

You two. Get together and do a wardrobe swap! It’ll be fun!