Who Fugged ‘Em More: Elisabeth Moss vs. January Jones


The first news is that Elisabeth Moss has scrapped the blonde.

I actually miss it, although I suspect it’s because Peggy Olsen has not yet discovered peroxide. But maybe what’s holding her back here, for me, is the fact that her makeup seems to belong with a totally different outfit. As do her shorts, which are so nondescript and tiresome. She’s, like, jazz hands on the top and gym rat on the bottom. I wish I could’ve seen the blazer and bright shirt with a skinny pant, or stylized tuxedo trouser. But if she had her heart set on formal shorts, I think she needed more interesting shoes with them. You need to SELL those suckers. To put this in terms Peggy would appreciate, those shorts are baked beans. You need to trick people into thinking they’re a delicious idea.

January Jones also went with formal shorts:

Bonus points for the color; demerits for the fact that it looks like her child did her eye-makeup. And I legitimately can’t tell if that’s a romper, or a sweater/shirt and shorts, or… quite what this is.

But it LOOKS like it’s a romper that’s designed to make you scratch your head about its true nature. I don’t like it when rompers try to vex me.  The world has enough problems.

So basically, it was Mad Men themed Battle Formal Shorts up in here. I wish we had Chairman Kaga of the original Iron Chef to officiate, but in his absence, I invite you to inhale deeply, tear a chunk out of a raw bell pepper, then cackle maniacally at the wall before shouting “ALLEZ FASHION” and then asking some random politician and fortune teller to pick the winner.

Which shorts do you like the least?

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[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Comments (66):

  1. LG
    0

    I am SO disappointed that Peggy isn’t going Mod! I was really hoping next season was going to open with her living in a great flat with Abe AND Joyce, pushing boundaries at her new firm by rocking bleached hair and really short dresses. DAMN.

  2. KMG
    0

    I’m sorry but January Jones is wearing a maternity romper. That’s all it is (or what it looks like, not trying to start any rumors!). How is that a good look?

  3. Sandye
    0

    They are both so horrible I can’t decide which is worse. I also can’t decide whose makeup is worse. Elizabeth’s hair, though, slightly edges out January’s for most cringe-worthy. January’s is just tepid.

    • Eliza Bennett
      0

      this.

      • Kary
        0

        Yep. This.

        • horsefeathery
          0

          absolutely this. Was these choices a dare or something?

        • horsefeathery
          0

          I mean WERE these choices. ack. I am now going to go drown myself in the bathtub….

      • Lucille Austero
        0

        Yes, really hard choice at the end of a tough day at work. I went with Elisabeth because damn, those are bicycle shorts. Just downright retina burning fugly, while the maybe romper is a heavy sigh. And also kind of what we expect from January Jones.

  4. Bella
    0

    Seriously, all the MM women need the guidance of the show’s stylist cause they just can’t dress themselves well at all.

    • filmcricket
      0

      Seriously. Or they need Kiernan Shipka to take them all shopping. Actually Jessica Pare’s clothes are rarely this heinous. Maybe there needs to be a “current Draper women” intervention.

      • Jasmine
        0

        It’s insane how amazing they look on the show, and how often they fail miserably IRL. I wouldn’t hate Elisabeth Moss’s outfit, but I would definitely have swapped the shorts for some skinnies, and a more exciting shoe.

        I’m pretending January Jones didn’t happen. It upsets me that much.

  5. Sandra
    0

    We need a choice that says “both must be burned and the ashes scattered to the four winds.” Formal shorts are inherently heinous. Shorts are not appropriate for formal events. Events at which shorts are appropriate are by nature informal. STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, FASHION GODS!!!!

  6. linda
    0

    That last choice is sarcastic, right?

  7. pidget
    0

    I saw these and wondered how fast you guys would have the MM ladies up here. Egads!

    I am in complete agreement with you, Sandra and Bella. January and Elizabeth – you are both gorgeous in your own unique flavours, and the show’s stylist gets you. Let her help!

  8. Vandalfan
    0

    I voted for the last choice, but ironically.

    Burn ‘em both, scatter the ashes.

  9. male fan of GFY
    0

    In this instance, Elisabeth Moss should have worn hose/tights and not gone bare legged. Would have look far better.

  10. Lynne
    0

    Both of these style choices make me stabby. Just awful. January’s makeup looks an awful lot like that time Rachel cracked some ribs and Ross had to apply makeup for her.

    And for the record, one should never wear a romper unless one is under age 9. Ever.

  11. Claire1
    0

    I can’t…. I just can’t…..
    someone make it go away.

    • youknowwho
      0

      That first picture of January is beyond words. I cannot conceive that she left the house thinking, “I look good. I want to be photographed in this.”

      I think January just won Fug Madness. There have ( and will be) some doozies of Fug before Fug Madness actually starts… and yet… the collar, shoulders, wrists, and shorts in this monochromatic monstrosity… just… leave me with no words.

      • Claire1
        0

        …and it looks as if it’s made out of knit polyester…..
        I mean…
        really?

  12. Aj
    0

    I voted for the last one solely because I laughed out loud when I read it.

  13. Katharine
    0

    At least January’s romper is making a bold statement, even if it isn’t a terribly flattering one. Elisabeth looks like a high school student doing Retro 80s flair for her fashun blog with the best that F21 and her local thrift store has to offer. In fact, I frequently wore a near-identical outfit in high school in the actual 80s; I was very fond of it. But I was seventeen.

  14. anny
    0

    “They are both my dream outfit”

    Sadly, this is the dream from which I awake screaming.

  15. SugarMagnolia
    0

    Love the original Iron Chef reference!

    • Stella
      0

      I really miss Original Iron Chef!!!! My college roommates and I were obsessed, and even had a neighbor who we thought looked just like Chairman Kaga. “Fukui-san!”

  16. Donna
    0

    I saw a tiny photo of the whole gang and thought JJ was wearing a gorgeous mod frock. Oh, the sting of disappointment when I saw the truth, in close-up horror, here.

  17. amys
    0

    Is Elisabeth auditioning for the Rockettes?

  18. The Fugger
    0

    WHY IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION

    WHY IS THIS EVEN UP TO A VOTE

    WHO LET JANUARY JONES OUT OF THE HOUSE LIKE THAT

    WHOEVER DID THAT TO HER IS A HATER, THEY LIED TO HER, AND SHE DON’T NEED THEM IN HER LIFE

    IF I COULD STOP WRITING IN CAPSLOCK I WOULD BUT THIS THING MAKES ME SO SHOUTY

    I WOULD SUGGEST THAT MS. JONES HAS JUST SEALED HERSELF A 1-SEED IN FUG MADNESS (WHICH I ALMOST TYPED F**K MADNESS, WHICH IS ALSO AN APPROPRIATE DESCRIPTION FOR THAT MONSTROSITY), BUT THAT WOULD IMPLY SEEING IT AGAIN IN MARCH, WHICH – NO, FUG GIRLS, JUST NO

  19. Chrissy
    0

    I don’t like either but January’s is definitely worse. And I like pink. But not only does her makeup look like a child did it, it looks like she’s wearing a child’s outfit. I didn’t think I liked the blonde hair, but now that it’s gone, I think it was pretty good.

  20. Brooke
    0

    Am I the only one who feels trippy with camera angles lately? 1 out of 3 photos has the poor victim looking either like their calves are wider than their shrunken head or that their head is suffering some gigantous disorder. Check out JJ’s first shot. For real, her head is as big as her legs from above the knees down. I am pretty sure I would have noticed if that was the actual case. Why is this happening?

    • Brooke
      0

      And Elizabeth’s whole face is the same size as her left knee. Everything just looks wonky lately, and I blame some odd new pap camera technology. Certainly doing no one any favors.

  21. Lily1214
    0

    No one ever looks great in these shorts outfits.

  22. Scanderoon
    0

    I’m pretty sure that I wore FAR more fashionable things than January’s outfit when I was six. And I had really horrible, six-year-old fashion sense!

  23. Sajorina
    0

    “ALLEZ FASHION” is the best thing ever!!!

  24. Emma
    0

    The pink thing is definitely a romper and deserved it’s own headline. It is the very definition of fugly. It looks like something Betty Draper might have dressed Sally in at age 2 for a birthday party. Elizabeth Moss just looks silly.

  25. Helen
    0

    All hail “Allez Fashion!” Haha!

    Both outfits are bad, but Elisabeth’s, I can understand how it happened. No, it isn’t a good idea, but neither is it incomprehensible that it might have seemed like one at the time.

    January’s, I don’t even know how that ever got made, never mind worn. Whether or not it’s a romper, it’s horrendous.

    Also, count me in with Brooke on the wonky camera angles lately. I think that’s on the rise. Poor foreshortened Julianne Hough comes to mind.

  26. rebecca
    0

    They both look great.

  27. Tamburlaine
    0

    Holy moly. Elisabeth’s outfit is nearly okay – you could unfug it quite simply. January’s is just awful, and requires a whole new set of garments. She looks cheerful and is smiling, though, which is nice.

  28. v
    0

    I have to disagree with your assessement of Elisabeth’s shorts – her legs are selling those suckers! Damn, I wish my legs looked that good – who knew she had those?

  29. Siobhán
    0

    I hope you didn’t need to pee, January…

  30. ProudMary
    0

    oh god, neither. I do like January’s hair, if this had been a miniskirt instead of a short it would have been divine.

  31. TaraMisu
    0

    Ugh…. they are both horrid. Burn, shred, something.

  32. Bailey
    0

    January’s doesn’t even fit. Baggy hotpants aren’t a good look.

  33. sarah
    0

    At least January is smiling & looking pleasant & engaged…def a new look for her:)

  34. Billie
    0

    Good Lord, that garment JJ is wearing is at least 3 sizes too big for her! If it actually, you know, fit, and she’d toned down the Barbie makeup, this might have worked. So, I gotta go with Moss. It fits, her legs look fantastic, and if she’d gone with an interesting shoe, she’d almost have herself a WERQ.

  35. Kit
    0

    Seriously, I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw January’s outfit. Like, I was literally ROTFLMAO as we used to say ten years ago.

    I can’t believe somebody made that, let alone, someone WORE it.

  36. gryt
    0

    January Jones’ outfit amuses me, so I like it! Her hair is way too prim tho.

  37. Snarkaphile
    0

    I cannot with this. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to give January Jones the win in what I can only call a Coup De Fug. Ms. Moss up there would have done better had the shorts been MORE formal. Shape them, cuff them at the bottom and bam, we’re good.
    But JANUARY DEAR GOD JANUARY. That pseudoromper OF DOOM does not fit. It gives her old lady legs (no offense) while simultaneously making her look bobbleheaded. The overall effect is that of a late-life crisis suffering octogenarian with an addiction to painkillers.
    /rant

  38. TereLiz
    0

    That Skaist-Taylor romper is like three sizes too big for JJ. Did she get this when she was pregnant?

    Elisabeth is almost normal-looking in comparison, but that make-up. *cringe* So glad she’s brunette again and she’s got great gams, but black shorts with a black jacket will never not look like something out of Cabaret to me.

  39. Jo
    0

    January is eleventy times more fug! And can’t these MM girls afford a stylist?!

    • Claire1
      0

      Agreed….
      But seriously! I work with special needs children, I have a kid, two dogs, two cats and an elderly mother that I care for…..and I STILL look better than this just going to work!
      I mean C’mon now….and I’m shopping on a GAP clearance/Target full price budge! Hell, my wish list from Modcloth could out dress these girls….and THEY can actually afford it!

  40. Catharine
    0

    I’m sorry, but in that second shot January TOTALLY looks like Kimmie Gibbler.

  41. Guerra
    0

    January looks terrible!!!!!!

  42. jean
    0

    My only thought …SCULLY, in formal shorts. The X-Files remake must be done. Who can be Mulder? Is John Hamm too old? Moss deserves a hot co-star. She’s earned it. Five seasons of Mad Men and only a hand kiss from the Hamm? Of course it was a good one.

  43. Franziska
    0

    A grown woman should NEVER wear a pink rompersuit in public.

  44. Esme
    0

    January looks like somebody’s nutty idea for an 8-year-old to wear in the Easter Parade.

  45. Anna Maria Cárcamo
    0

    I actually like elizabeth moss’s outfit and hair! now january is another story..and that is definitely a romper!