Well Played, Olympian Abs


well-played

As the Olympics of The Pool have largely closed, and we’ve moved on to the Olympics of the Track, it seems like a good time to quietly reflect upon all we’ve learned about swimming over the last several days. Things like: we can’t imagine how weird it’s going to be to have a Summer Olympics without Michael Phelps, who was so awesome and relaxed in all his interviews this week, and who seemed to be absorbing the experience in a way that was really touching; the Olympics truly are about bringing the best athletes of the world together in (mostly) friendly yet fierce competition and that is one of the reasons I love them; we admire NBC commentator Rowdy Gaines for his unfailing ability to be deeply and LOUDLY thrilled by the end of every race and we hope he acts like this at home when his wife, say, remembers to buy the Doritos he requested; and HOLY ABS PLEASE DON’T EVER PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON, MALE SWIMMERS/DIVERS OF THE WORLD. Because while we might not all be cheering for the same country, we can all appreciate hot dudes. Happy Monday, Fug Nation.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (233):

  1. Stefanie
    +2

    I HAVEN’T EVEN LOOKED AT THE SLIDESHOW YET AND I ALREADY LOVE IT.

    THANK YOU HEATHER AND JESSICA!!

    • wildviolette
      +1

      I was having the Worst. Day. EVER. That is until this slideshow came along.
      Heather & Jessica, you two are truly doing important, vital work. AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT!!!!!

      • Karen G
        0

        Amen to that! Good work, you two. And gosh, I’ll miss Michael Phelps’ torso.

  2. Jennifer E.
    0

    oh, my giddy aunt. thanks ladies. you seemed genuinely … moved by the olympics. makes me wish i’d watched more swimming. or learned to swim, or something like that. divers. zowie.

  3. kb
    0

    This may be the best post in Fug history. And thank you for posting it on a Monday. It seriously helped me get over finding out that James Magnusen was born in 1991. BORN in 1991. Shit. I think I just depressed myself again…back to the pictures…

    • Jane
      0

      Then he is MINE MINE MINE. I was born in ’91. I second the claim that this is the best post in Fug history. I just bookmarked it for future perusal… and by perusal I mean memorization/blowing up the pictures to poster size and pasting them on my walls.

      Oh, and dibs on Adrian. I’ll marry him, if you really, really want me to.

      • Bubba
        0

        I have dibs on Adrian!

        Wait.

        He was born when I was a junior in high school. That could either be so, so wrong or so, so right.

        • Katie
          0

          Nathan Adrian may be my idea of a perfect man. So, so beautiful. And smart! Lochte’s hot until he opens his mouth and then he loses all appeal for me. And Adrian’s only 18 months younger than me! This could totally work out.

      • Lina-Sophie
        0

        I was born in 1994! I think I should marry him.

        But I am disappointed because there is no more shots of Ryan Lochte… come on, Jessica, I need more!

    • SNS
      0

      Best Post Ever. Made me laugh. Thank you.

  4. Allison
    0

    Can I talk you into creating a Best of Abs bracket post-Olympics?! I think it would have the potential to stop global warming.

    • Jane
      0

      Are you kidding me? All the HOTNESS would melt the polar ice caps! Also I don’t see how you could ever pick a loser.

      Yay for male objectification!

  5. Caity
    0

    This post made me both clap and squeal with glee, and get a little misty over how awesome the Olmpics are. Well played Jessica. Also, I will sincerely miss Michael Phelps. Let’s hope they bring him back for commentary in Rio, and that he will be contractually obligated to do said commentating shirtless.

  6. Mia
    0

    My only quibble with this is that there are no water polo shots. I know their caps are ridiculous, but HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE MEN?!?! Holy god.

  7. Brooke
    0

    No, thank YOU, Jessica. W.O.W.

  8. Sonya
    0

    Dios mio, I think I need to go outside and talk a walk right now. So much hotness in that post.
    I volunteer to marry Nathan Adrian, even though I am engaged.

    • Mandy
      0

      YES. Nathan Adrian’s not my usual ‘type’, but LES ABS and he’s a smartypants too? He may just have been promoted to my Olympic swimmer bf, especially since the magic of the last one (Lochte) diminished every time he spoke…

      • Sonya
        0

        And that smile with the crinkles by the eyes! I die.

        • marie
          0

          he was so cute on the Call Me Maybe video..and i spent hours drooling on his Twitter profile pic!!!

  9. Molly
    0

    Ah, what a great way to start a Monday. Can I put in a request for the Hot Guys of Volleyball next? They are less likely to lose their shirts, but there are more than enough hotties with amazing arms to make up for that inconsiderateness.

  10. Laura
    0

    Best. Slideshow. Ever. Thanks!

    Will also really miss Phelps, big fan of his and enjoyed how he seemed to relax and enjoy it all this week. And while my mom and friends think he’s weird-looking, I find him completely adorable, particularly with all the smiles he was flashing. As for the rest of him, well, hot damn.

    • Heather
      +1

      I also find him odd-looking, in the face – kind of Frankenstein-ian. But I could get over it given the rest of his bod.

      Oh to be a waxing technician to the Olympic stars….

  11. Lesley
    0

    Royals and Abs in one day? This Monday is kicking the ass of every Monday that has ever been. Well played, ladies. Well played.

  12. TaraMisu
    0

    *thud*

    Best post ever and on a Monday no less! I’m going to look at the pics again, bye.

  13. Claire
    0

    I have been faithfully reading your blog since early 2006, and I think this is my favorite post y’all have ever posted. (That’s not to say I don’t love BRITNEY! and ¡Hola Lovers!, but rather that I really, truly love this post).

  14. understateddiva
    0

    *crosses fingers for a similar post called Olympic buns*…….*but doesn’t hold her breath*

  15. Jen S 2.0
    0

    Oh, Mylanta. Thank you, I needed that. I stayed on photo #15 for a solid 4 minutes with my mouth agape. **fanning self**

    • kamo
      0

      Seeeerrriously, who IS that?! Please someone tell me so I can go on a lusty google spree. Who says women aren’t visual creatures?

      • Emily
        0

        Photo #15 is Tom Daley. He and Sam Mikulak make me feel like a dirty old woman. Thank goodness they’re over 18.

        • Jen
          0

          Only just barely, sadly.

        • Sabrina
          +1

          Tom Daley IS 18. I feel dirty looking at him and I’m only a couple years older.

        • kamo
          0

          Hmmm I almost regret googling him now. I’ll just stick to this glorious picture where his slightly-too-behbeh face is obscured.

  16. Diana
    0

    I was flipping through the slides wondering where Nathan Adrian was, then I was so happy to see you’ve got some great shots at the end. I love the fact that you got a lot of good shots of swimmers and divers from other countries as well. And slide 25 is adorable!

    I’m wondering if you’re going to fug the divers’ butt cracks – or not their lovely, lovely butts per se, but the lack of coverage. Because I totally agree with you, whatever it is that they’re wearing doesn’t cover much.

  17. Rebecca
    0

    FAVORITE. POST. EVER.

    I volunteer to marry Nathan Adrian! I mean, could he BE any cuter?!

    I’m also going to REALLY miss Phelps. I’ve always been a fan but I really fell in love with him during these games. I can’t believe we’re done with shirtless Olympics pics of him! So upsetting.

  18. Carrie
    0

    Thank you for making my entire day. Potentially my entire week.

    And yes, the water polo players are incredible looking as well.

  19. Stefanie
    +1

    Holy crap. I feel like I need a drink after that! Best slideshow in the history of GFY.

    Tom Daley has me so confused. On the one hand…look at that body. On the other hand…he’s so young looking. It’s like my mind can’t make sense of it.

    Lotche, well, we’re well versed on my feeling for him. JEAH! ANY DAY OF THE DAMN WEEK.

    Nathan Adrian looks like a real life Disney Prince. I would cast him at Disney World or in a live action remake of any of the fairy tales in a second.

  20. Billie
    0

    A. This is exactly what my Monday morning needed, and I could really use it every day! The best quote is, obviously ‘the only reason the male divers AREN’T diving totally naked is because their junk needs to be protected from flopping all over the place ‘. I die!

    B. I am totally Team Phelps as well (sealed by the Lochte twitter slide show Friday … is his head filled with rocks?). Since he’ll no longer grace our screens, my hear must move to Nathan Adrian. Sweet Jesus he is the best thing that came out of the water in a long time.

    C. Magnussen was born in 1991?!?! That means he should be gracing our screens for many years to come.

    Thank you, International Male Swimmers, for gracing the sport.

  21. China
    0

    Quite possibly the best GFY post EVER. That is all.

  22. kat
    +1

    BEST. POST. EVER!!!!!!

  23. Marte
    0

    I approve of this post.

    • tiburon
      0

      …And in that instant, the campaign ads of Pres. Obama (or the Romnster, whatever floats your boat) became 10000 times more interesting. Who needs attack ads when you can have attack abs?

  24. Melissa
    0

    I will GLADLY marry Nathan Adrian if that option is still open.

  25. Mo
    0

    I love this so much I would buy you all the Diet Coke in the world if I could. And I pretty much mainline the stuff myself, so that’s how much I love this.

    Maybe for track and field we could have Olympic thighs? Or buns? Or both?

  26. Gwen Robinson
    0

    In the immortal words of George Takei, “Oh My!”

  27. tiburon
    0

    Tom Daley in slide 15 is… ridiculous. To quote the fug girls, “i just can’t even.” Please more divers. Is this what men feel like when they see leaked nude photos of ScarJo or Megan Fox?

  28. Melissa
    0

    Tom Daley’s tiny itty bitty trunks are the best thing EVER. He is ridiculously attractive to me even though he is 18 and I am… not. I can’t wait for him to dive again in 10m Platform. I am not watching the Olympics for the correct reasons, clearly.

  29. akamarykate
    0

    MATT GREVERS NEEDS TO PLAY FINNICK.

    I mean…c’mon! He even has a fiance named Annie!

    Thank you for this post. *happy sigh*

  30. Cat
    0

    I was crying over the end of swimming, but I saw Michael Phelps here and I started feeling better. Best slideshow ever!! Seriously, though, I’m going to miss Phelps (and swimming) so much. I’m totally with the poster above who says he needs to come back to do commentary (while shirtless) for Rio.

    I’m already married but would be happy to take Nathan Adrian as my second husband! He’s so stinking cute!

  31. Christie
    0

    W.O.W.

    Although, can I just say that every time I see a swimmer draped across the line ropes after a race I hear a lifeguard scream “OFF THE ROPES” as they did during my childhood.

  32. Erin
    0

    I also would like to offer myself as a sacrificial bride for Nathan Adrian. He posted a picture of his baby nephew on Twitter today. And I hear he’s super-polite, in addition to being smart and a physical anomaly. This kid is unreal.

    While I cannot deny Phelps’ swimming prowess, my preferences tip more towards Lochte in the looks department. Good thing he’s so pretty, because that head is full of nothing but idiotic soundbites. But yeah, pretty.

    My only complaint about this post is the lack of Brendan Hansen (well, save the last slide). He seems incredibly gracious and nice, and all of the swimming team members give him a lot of credit for helping make their Olympics a blast.

    • Jessica
      0

      I didn’t have any good shots of him in our photo pool. He seems like an AWESOME team captain, I am very fond of him.

    • lilywise
      0

      *fans self* Best Post Ever. Echo the call for more Brendan Hansen, but maybe he can be the honorary swimming photo in the next round-up of Olympic Hotness.

      I will use this slideshow to comfort me when I am mourning the absence of Olympic athletes on my tv screen.

    • Megan
      0

      Erin, Nathan wants to be A DOCTOR: http://www.theatlanticwire.com/global/2012/08/nathan-adrian-olympic-crush-america-needs/55337/

      I agree that Lochte is a helluva lot prettier than Phelps, but I think Phelps really cleaned up and smartened up for this Olympics.

      • Erin
        0

        WHAT?! Seriously, is he the real-life Timothy Green? I suspect his parents put together a wish list of qualities for their child and picked him up from the local hospital nursery. Swoon.

  33. jennifer
    0

    I think your next one needs to be “Well Played, Olympian Glutes.” Just a suggestion. (:

  34. Beth
    0

    I need a cigarette after this slideshow! (And I’m a nonsmoker….)

  35. Erika
    0

    Ryan Lochte is dumber than a brick, but he does have a damned cute smile (when it’s not gold. Eesh.).
    And I LOVE that picture of the Japanese team–especially the one who’s kind of leaning backwards.
    And I love the rest of the photos as well. Yum.

    Will you now be doing the legs of Olympic runners/track teams? Not to mention gymnasts? Because much as I love the Royals (and I really, really, do) that would be completely awesome.

    • Jennifer E.
      0

      oh, could we do the well-muscled sprinters?! they’re so muscly they’re almost deformed, but it would make a great study, wouldn’t it? not quite as prurient as this one, but then, some of them are old enough they COULDN’T be my kids, and that’s a big plus.

  36. Salvadore
    0

    Tom Daley: toy boy or bear daddy? bear cub? STOP BEING SO HOT!

  37. oohsparkley
    0

    This was so great. Thanks!!! I was happy to see Matt Grevers. I was reading and watching the Olympics. I looked up just when he had just won his gold medal and was standing by the side of the pool with whoever came in second. He was so tall, so buff, so hawt! I said out loud to myself “OMG!” and squirmed in my chair in ecstasy. I love Michael Phelps too. Many fine physical specimens to admire.

  38. Char
    0

    No Canadians??

  39. Jean
    0

    thank you. just. thank you.

  40. JF
    0

    *whew* is it hot in here or what?!????

    also, note to self — do not attempt to eat lunch while perusing The Abs of Monday — will let to excessive amounts of dropped food and missed mouth

    “born in 1981″ dear merciful heavens, I could add the entire team’s ages together and still be older. . .

    • Sonya
      0

      Which one was born in 1981?! That is when I was born and I was starting to feel as if they’re all too young for me! Although, that certainly wouldn’t stop me.

      • Caity
        0

        It’s actually 1991, not 1981, that a previous poster mentioned. James Magnussen is 21, born in 1991. What’s even more frightening to me is that someone born in the 90′s is of drinking age

  41. Jeannine
    0

    Can we also volunteer to marry Phelps? Because I totally would…

    • Jessica
      0

      Me too. I heart him. Heather and I then had a whole discussion about how you’d have to deal with his mom trying to give you a variety of smart Chico’s outfits. The price you pay.

      • Katie
        0

        Me three. In addition to THAT BODY he also seems like such a nice, charming person. Also, he would be he appropriate age for me ;)

      • Rebecca
        0

        And did you see Debbie Phelps’ JEWELRY during these games?! I feel it got more wackadoo every day. I’d put up with some smart, sensible frocks from Chico’s in order to spend the rest of my life with him though! ha

        But I think his relationship with his mom is sweet. I bet whatever lucky girl lands him will have the difficult task of getting the thumbs up from her (and probably his sisters too).

        • Amy
          0

          my daughter and I commented nightly on Debbie Phelps statement jewelry. She must own stock in Chicos!
          LOOOOVE the slide show! Thank you for making my day!

  42. lavonspants
    0

    STEP. AWAY. FROM. THE NATHAN. For he is mine. Oh yes — he is mine. (I claimed him right at the end of their first really, when everybody else was all happy that Phelps — whom I also adore) had gotten “back on track” or whatever (like he wasn’t ALWAYS awesome), and HotNathan has been mine ever since. Did you know he’s also a total gadget dork? Yup: http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/swimming/nathan-adrian-helicopter-pilot.html?chrcontext=unexpected-greatness . FLOVE HIM.

    And Erin — I completely agree that the only thing missing (how greedy are we???) from this slide show is Brendan Hansen. And since the Fug Girls have worked so hard to give us this Magnificent Monday Post of Ab-ness (which: THANK YOU), they need toil no more: http://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/lane9/news/18426.asp

    (And here’s an AB-tastic bonus for us all, just because, well LOOK AT THEM:
    http://www.glamour.com/entertainment/2012/06/meet-4-hot-half-naked-olympic-2012-swimmers-glamour-july-2012)

  43. cdd
    0

    this made my monday.

    also, is anyone else watching the synchronized swimming right now? these suits are the craziest thing I have ever seen! definitely deserve their own fug madness bracket

  44. Other Meredith
    0

    I will also volunteer (along with the rest of the internet) to marry Nathan Adrian. And thanks ever so for the shot of Ricky Berens. Also, everything else. Sigh…

  45. LisaJo
    0

    See?! Thank you for taking my suggestion and running with it. Tom Daley: physical perfection on display. As is everyone else on that slide show. Well-done, ladies.

  46. Al
    0

    That was AWESOME, ladies! Thank you for sacrificing your time to complie this ;)

    I really hope that Michael Phelps does in fact stay retired and spend the rest of his life doing fun things like travel the world. Swimming and being the best has been all he has been about life since he was like 11 years old and Bob Bowman decided he could be the best ever if he worked harder than anyone else. He seems happy to have done it but now ready to have a real life.

    • Amber
      0

      I agree–as much as the summer Olympics will be weird without him competing, I really think he’s accomplished everything he set out to do. He won’t be able to win races forever and I would rather have him go out on top than come back and prove to us that he really is human. But I do hope they use him in Rio, shirtless. I mean, he can give us that. ;-)

  47. Emmaleigh
    0

    You 2 should be deemed National Treasures for all the work you do to entertain us. You deserve Sainthood for this post alone!

  48. Amber
    0

    LOVE this slideshow. I agree with many of the posters above: possibly the best slideshow i GFY history.
    I love Michael Phelps and would gladly take him as my 2nd husband. And Nathan Adrian can be my 3rd, because how cute is he? Oh my. My husband won’t be happy…
    Anyway, I am sad that swimming is over. It was so damn enjoyable.
    Thank you, also, for including the divers. While watching the diving competitions, I was trying to decide if they are somehow born with extra muscle groups than the rest of us. Seeing your slideshow, I have decided that yes, yes they are. And thank you to those of you who pointed out that Tom Daley is 18. I mean, it’s still creepy for me to ogle him, but at least he’s of legal age!

  49. Megan
    0

    I think I need a cigarette.

    Thanks. Hahaha.

  50. Jillian
    0

    As always, your fictional celebrity conversations are the highlight of my day. “How are my biceps?” Sublime.

  51. Hanna
    0

    This may be my favorite Well Played post, in the history of Well Played. Thank you, ladies, for brightening up my Monday morning. /salute

  52. Superfatou
    0

    Thiago Pereira from Brazil is easy on the eyes as well….

  53. Wilsom
    0

    Warning: Buzzkill Alert

    I realise this is all in good fun but I worry that you are objectifying the swimmers and treating these chaps as pieces of meat.

    Equality works both ways.

    One of the reasons I love your site is because you rarely discuss the physicality of people. It’s refreshing.

    Looking forward to the next dissection of badly constructed outfit choices.

    • Jane
      0

      We are GLORIFYING in the amazing bodies of these swimmers and what they can do with them. The bodies of Olympic Athletes are truly magnificent and powerful and awe-inspiring. Male and female- I mean, I watch all those female sprinters with their glorious abs and go DAMN, they are amazing. I wish I were that strong.

      And strong, fit, well-muscled… that just happens to be what makes our loins happy too. A little friendly objectification never hurt anyone. We all appreciate their athletic prowess, and the amazing bodies are what enable that.

      • vandalfan
        0

        Yes. It’s not as if we think that being attractive is all they have to offer, unlike the objectification of women that was squelched a bit in the 70′s and has sadly come roaring back.

        • Jennifer E.
          0

          well said! and have you seen the slide show of beach volleyball buns? it’s not JUST about the fact that you can see most of their luscious tushies. a LITTLE objectification is not a bad thing. after all, if we stop enjoying looking at each other, the human race will die out.

          i’m more concerned that their ages made me feel like a dirty old woman, which i emphatically am NOT! i am still a dirty YOUNG woman on the inside! but since we’re not objectifying, the fact that my shell is no longer hawt hawt hawt won’t be an impediment, right?

          i’m slightly incoherent. i blame the abs and conversations about abs. and itty-bitty diving suits.

  54. Eli
    0

    My hero today is the person who decided those full body suits that swimmers wore in the ought-eight Olympics should be banned. Well done, sir.

  55. Miss Tee
    0

    I would comment on this, but I am passed out in a puddle of my own drool.

  56. sara
    0

    I would’ve appreciated a pic of Brendan Hansen. HE IS SO ADORB. Seriously, his face? So cute.

  57. Miss Tee
    0

    Oh, also, let’s not forget the delicious tattoodness of one Mr. Anthony Ervin. Delicious.

  58. Lindsay
    0

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bws52wtv6Ts

    TOM DALEY, TOM DALEY, TOM DALEY!!!

  59. ringthing
    0

    All this after Harry shaking hands with adorable children? *searches for smelling salts*

  60. Tammy
    0

    Awww… Ian Thorpe was my first Olympic crush, It was sad not seeing him without his shirt but I’m all better now!

  61. Lauren P
    0

    Tom Daley is beyond gorgeous, but for your own peace of mind don’t google him without specifying the date. Otherwise you get all these pictures from 2008 Beijing when he was 14 and he looks so young and that was four years ago when I was HIS AGE NOW and it all just becomes very creepy.

    • Meagan
      0

      Trust me, it’s even creepier when you google him only to realize that you’re, oh, 16 years older than him. I feel like a dirty old woman right about now.

  62. Lime
    0

    I got to about slide 19 and was thinking, WHERE IS NATHAN ADRIAN????? Thank goodness you had lots of lovely shots of him just a few slides later! His face when he won the 100 free was priceless! He is a gorgeous lovely person, I’m so glad everyone else loves him as much as I do.

  63. Julie Chase
    0

    I love the universe and this post. And Nathan Adrian’s smile, he was so cute when he won that my entire lower half imploded. Which is disgusting really.

  64. Claire L1
    0

    Oh I’m such a creepy old lady for drooling over those boys……..

  65. MelissaW
    0

    Totally made my afternoon. :)

    (And for equal opportunity, who checked out Jessica Ennis’s abs in the women’s heptathlon?? Someone does her crunches!!)

  66. Julia
    0

    A sexy commercial starring nearly-naked Camille Lacourt (plus bonus French swimmers)? What the Fug Girls want, the Fug Girls get.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFWJ1kxLC5c

  67. schadenfreudelicious
    0

    is it wrong am objectifying men young enough to be my son?.. no i didn’t think so either…

  68. Karen
    0

    I think you need to award marriage to Nathan Adrian to a Freaky Fug Friday winner. I can’t imagine a more just and fair way to handle that.

    As for the photo of Tom Daley–dear god in heaven. It made me do the same gesture he’s doing–just clap my hand over my mouth…

  69. Prolixity Julien
    0

    And a good afternoo to you too, ladies of Fug.

    Did anyone else reach a point in the pictures where they started splitting hairs and thinking, “I wonder which stroke specifically produces the most delicious ab/shoulder results?” I would think butterfly. I don’t really care. But I would think butterfly. I’d best go look again.

    • sarrible
      0

      I’d say butterfly for the shoulders, but for the abs it’s the backstroke. All the power in the legs, plus the work to keep the body horizontal in the water, has to come from the lower abs. Just look at Matt Grevers’s 10-pack, for crissake.

  70. Sabrina
    0

    I kept waiting for Nathan Adrian to show up and then finally there he was. Too cute. He and Ricky Bernes are both just adorable.

    • lavonspants
      0

      Ricky Berens and Rebecca Soni are the cutest swimmy couple in the history of flippin’ EVER. They were my favorite part of the “Call Me Maybe” lip-dub, other than the just general into-it-ness of Missy Franklin.

      • Sabrina
        0

        They are freaking adorable aren’t they? I want them to have cute tiny swimming babies. (No pressure kids!)

  71. Alle C
    +1

    I READ THIS FOR THE ARTICLES.

  72. horsefeathery
    0

    once again, I have to tell you, jessica and heather, that you guys are outstandingly hilarious. Laughing at your comments has given MY abs a great workout. You guys are much more effective than that stoopid ab belt they sell on infomercials. And the workout comes with fantastic males that let us know what were working for!

  73. sarah
    0

    My response to marrying Nathan Adrian:

    http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7vviqy3By1r9og92o2_250.gif

  74. Rameisela
    0

    I did shed a tear when the swimming/ diving was over. Thank goodness for your slide show it’ll have to be my morning ritual at work

    • Bernadette
      0

      It’s ok, diving isn’t over! The synchro is over but the individual 3m and 10m are still to come. More abs!

  75. Annieb
    0

    This is incredible, but I feel water polo has been left out – seriously untapped gold! Google Australian men’s water polo, specifically Thomas Whelan. You won’t regret it :)

  76. Anu
    0

    BEST. POST. EVER!!! Thank you ladies from the bottom of my heart and other parts…

  77. Alyssa
    0

    Cullen Joooooooooones how is your smile a real thing???

    Echoing all the people who will miss Phelps–I have forgotten what Olympics are like without him–and volunteer to marry Nathan Adrian.

  78. Miranda
    0

    Mmmm, Michael Phelps and his low riding shorts. *insert Homer Simpson drooling sound here*

  79. KMG
    0

    I……oh…….this was AMAZING. I love how slightly befuddled Michael Phelps looked in his jacket and headphones when he’d come out to race. And Cullen Jones is just ADORABLE, as is Nathan Adrian. Ryan Lochte – you’re great, just keep your mouth shut and we’ll be just fine :)

    I loved in the last relay how Brendan Hansen looked like a midget next to Phelps, Adrian and Greves. You know he’s not, it’s just that the others are just so freakishly tall.

    Gotta love Tom Daley, although I also feel terrible for him that some idiot tweeted him that he let his father down when he didn’t medal in synchronized doubles (his dad died last year).

    • Charlotte
      0

      I KNOW RIGHT? That was awful. But the police actually went and arrested him for making threats! So at least that was nice.

  80. KMG
    0

    I meant Grevers of course – see this post has affected my brain!

  81. Amy Farrah Fowler
    0

    Thank you, Jessica and Heather! You are truly doing the Lord’s work here.
    OMG. Camille Lacourt. How did I miss him until now?! Clearly I have not been watching enough of the Olympics. So much goodness here. I love them all. And I extra heart the Phelps. He seems like such a great guy.

  82. Jo
    0

    You need to show a little appreciation for the rowers’ shoulders (pretty please) – seriously impressive :)

  83. exquisite red
    0

    This post is amazing. Yum city. I just about spit out my Vanilla Coke Zero when I read “DIVERS, YOU ARE NAKED”…absolutely love it!

  84. Anna
    0

    I’m going to out myself as a total dork (and also old) and thank you for putting that comma in the “Thank you, London” sign. Oh, who am I kidding? Thank you for the hot young bodies. But also commas.

  85. jenny
    0

    Nathan Adrian = WINNER.

  86. Hima
    0

    Ha! The comments on this post are as good as the slideshow. Okay, not quite (GOOD GOD, TOM DALEY!), but still hilarious.

    Also, Jessica, how come YOU don’t want to claim Nathan Adrian for yourself? Is it because you love Michael Phelps? I mean, I commend you for your generosity in giving him to one of us (me?), but why?

    • Jessica
      0

      He is SO CUTE and I love him but he’s so young! One of you youngsters should pounce.

      I do really love Phelps though. He is totally my type.

  87. Heather
    0

    Oh Phelps. I looooved him at first, but he’s kind of like a song you hear on the radio 20 times a day all summer and really start to dislike. Overexposed. (I know, I’m totally in the minority here.) Although, as someone else mentioned, he has gotten MUCH better at doing press, so that really helps the interviews this time around to be more watchable. But if I never see Debbie Phelps again, it will be too soon. I’m still scarred from her overly-personal interviews with Chris Collinsworth in Beijing!

    And THANK YOU for the Rowdy Gaines shoutout! I think he makes watching the swimming so interesting and fun, because for all of his knowledge and experience, he still gets really into the races, which is just awesome. His calling the 2008 gold medal men’s relay win against France is part of what makes that moment in time so unforgettable to me. Phelps can be a commentator in Rio only if he doesn’t take Rowdy’s job. :)

  88. tarasaurusrex
    0

    OH MY SWEET BABY JESUS IN THE MANGER THIS IS GLORIOUS

    THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH AND AT THE SAME TIME EXACTLY ENOUGH

    AHHH. DEAD.

  89. Nora
    0

    I love Cullen Jones – great smile! And I saw an interview with him where he talked about how when he is not at the Olympics he is teaching kids how to swim (he seemed very cool guy who gives back) Great slide show!

    • Claire L1
      0

      Yes! Because he almost drowned when he was a child….So it’s so important to him to teach children how to swim and how to get out of the water.

      Love him!

      • Sonya
        0

        Now I love him even more! I feel like knowing how to swim, at least enough to not drown, is such an important skill to learn! Yea for Cullen!

  90. Lynn
    0

    I will sincerely miss getting to see Michael Phelps compete. I have always been a big fan of the Olympics but don’t think I have ever rooted harder for an athlete. While always enjoyable, he showed gratitude, maturity, humor and class this time around. I’m looking forward to more Nathan Adrian in four years. And thanks for the great work on this slideshow. Wow!

  91. baddog
    0

    Best. Slideshow. EVER CREATED.

  92. Kathryn
    0

    Possibly the best slide show you have ever put together, which is saying a whole lot!!! Who could not love these swimmers!

  93. jean
    0

    Jessica, thank you so much for all the suffering you clearly experienced putting together that awesome slideshow. Forget Magic Mike. Swimmers in swimming trucks for the win. They’re all so gorgeous although Adrian may be my Rio boyfriend if there’s no Phelps. I love his Kyle Chandler squint. And the fact he might be 7 feet tall. Seriously, he makes Phelps look short!

    • Jessica
      0

      YES. It IS a Kyle Chandler squint. YOU ARE SO RIGHT. That makes it even better.

    • lavonspants
      0

      OMG THIS!!! Kyle Chandler + Nathan Adrian = Swooooon.

    • Sabrina
      0

      Oh my god it is the Kyle Chandler squint! I thought Nathan Adrian couldn’t get any better but then you add in Coach Taylor!

  94. jean
    0

    Oh and THANK YOU for giving Japan some love. NBC never showed them up close. They had a pretty damn good Olympics–silver and bronzes all over the place. Japan will be gunning for us in Rio. And they too have abs of steel.

  95. Renny
    0

    You’re right, Nathan Adrian should probably marry me. This post is excellent. Well played Olympic abs indeed! (And arms, and shoulders, and cute smiles…. oh swimmers!)

  96. Lisa
    0

    I am SO glad you are aware of Camille Lacourt. Those eyes …

  97. Lisa
    0

    And also, thanks for the photo of Tom Daley, yet somehow it feels so wrong, as I remember him being practically a foetus at the last Olympics, and now he’s perve material?!

  98. Tessie Bee
    0

    Chappie with the shoulders in the ‘shoulders and biceps’ shot reminds me of Daniel Radcliffe. I find this highly amusing :)

  99. Trish
    0

    Whither the boys of water polo????

  100. Jessica B
    0

    A little late in viewing this, but, it is FANTASTIC.

    Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

  101. Jamie
    0

    Hot damn. Phelps’s body is just unreal. I hope he doesn’t let himself go now when he’s retired.

  102. Stefanie
    0

    one adorable person missing: Canada’s Alexandre Despatie.cute as a teen and growing up to be crazy hot. google him, you’ll thank me

  103. Chasmosaur
    0
  104. MissMelrose
    0

    Love it love it love it – well done ladies. As a Kiwi, I got to see a little more of the men’s rowing events than the pool, and there were lots of lovely shoulders and arms on show there.

  105. Liz
    0

    Fabulous slideshow — but only one shirtless shot of Ricky Berens? And not even a mention of the glorious results when Google image-searching “Ricky Berens swimsuit rip?” (I know this was an abs slideshow…but that is not to be missed)

    • Jessica
      0

      That didn’t happen in the Olympics, so….but thanks for letting us know it’s out there! (I was unaware.)

      • Liz
        0

        Ooh, very good point – I was so blinded by the beauty I forgot the key word of ‘Olympics’ :)

    • Kelly
      0

      My life is better for having known this occured.

  106. CB
    0

    OMG. Thank you 1000x

  107. Divya
    0

    HOW DID I NOT KNOW OF CAMILLE? HOW? My life before this slideshow was POINTLESS! And now that I have seen Camille Lacourt I know I have met my soul mate. I just have to break the news to my husband….

    • Sonya
      0

      Seriously, Camille LaCourt is Gallic perfection. I WANT. Florent Manaudou isn’t half bad either.

      • Divya
        0

        And you know when he opens that mouth and talks he will become even more potent. He just has to say Jeah in french and womankind will be weak in the knees!

  108. Melodie
    0

    Good to know I’m not alone in my horndogging of these games. With this and the tweets about Troy Dumais’… well, you know, Fug Girls…. THANK YOU. For srrs.

  109. Jane
    0

    I would just like to let you know I return here far more often than is appropriate (or is probably psychologically sound).

    But ahhh. The abs. They just keep drawing me back in.

    • Jane
      0

      ALSO I was watching snippets of synchronized diving, and I saw all those APPALLING SWIMSUITS and was thinking, “The fug girls would DOMINATE this.” So… you know. Suggestions.

      • Jane
        0

        And by DIVING I mean SWIMMING. We all already know the synchro diving uniforms do not exactly constitute much. For which we’re all thankful.

  110. johnnycakes
    0

    Thank you thank you! I know this was posted on Monday and I am late to the game but yowzer! nice distraction ladies. Well played!

  111. Kate Pearce
    0

    Is it wrong that I keep coming back and looking at this post?? :)

  112. Corriner
    0

    Fug Girls, you MUST look up photos of Canadian Diver Alexandre Despatie!!! BE STILL MY HEART

  113. Kiti
    0

    I must be in a very small minority, but I really do not find any of these men particularly attractive. Now Matt Anderson on the US volleyball team? Tall sweet hotness.

    The one thing in this slideshow that caught my attention was slide #24, where the perspective makes Phelps (in the foreground) look tiny while the other guy somehow looks huge. Weird.

  114. Amy
    0

    I volunteer! I VOLUNTEER AS MRS. ADRIAN! You’ve outdone yourselves with this one, ladies. xx

  115. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    Thanks so much for this girls. I was showing that pic of the nearly naked Tom Daley to the girls at work who are all old enough to be at least his mother. The diving is on soon so I need to see that French pair. Or are they Canadian?

    How about another slidey on the gymnasts even thought they’re now finished? Hamilton Sabot and Marcel Nguyen spring to mind.

  116. Flutsch
    0

    Nice meat indeed, but the emptiness and dumbness you can see in some of these dudes’ eyes are a total turn-off…

  117. Maia
    0

    This post is amazing. Can I request a slideshow of the female abs. They also have so much hotness!

  118. Melissa
    0

    This is literally the best thing I have ever seen/read/watched/witnessed in the whole of the Internet AND world ever.

    I’m going to be bookmarking this for future, completely necessary, perving.

  119. hippetyhop
    0

    “DIVERS YOU ARE NAKED” – HAHAHAHAAAHHAAAHAAA!!!

    Exactly. At work we can watch internet TV on our computers and I have undergone a lot of ribbing about how I always seem to be watching the men’s diving. And swimming, And gymnastics.

  120. Nicole Grimm
    0

    I love you girls all the time, but what with giving love to my Mikey Phelps, the eye-popping eye candy, and the snort-out-loud captions, this is one of your all-time best posts ever.

  121. mikaela
    0

    This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. Thank you gfy, thank you

  122. Kris
    0

    I just want to say -this slide show is helping me through my Olympic withdrawal. I visit often.