Well Played, Charlize Theron


What’s that line from Singin’ in the Rain?

“She’s so refined. I think I’ll kill myself”? That’s kind of how I feel about Charlize. Except replace “refined” with “gorgeous” and “I’ll kill myself” with “I’m just going to eat this giant bag of pretzels.” AND IT NEVER ENDS:

All I know, Charlize, is that if I look at these pictures too long and end up chopping off my hair again, and hate it, I’m coming after you. And by “coming after you,” I mean, “complaining about it on the internet.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (44):

  1. Lina

    Oh, her hair looks fantastic. I love both dresses, and the second one gets a wholehearted Well-Played from me, but I’m not sure about the shoes with the red dress. They are super-cute, yes, but they disturbingly vanish into her feet. I think a killer burgundy pump would have gone better.

  2. theotherjennifer

    THIS is how you do it!

  3. The Other Katherine

    Charlize, if you have started using lip injections, and I fear you have, PLEASE STOP. You are beautiful and do not need to mess with your face. The trout pout looks good on no one. (Not that I’m seeing true trout pout here, but her mouth looks subtly wrong, and people have a tendency to think their plumped lips look sexy when in fact they just look unnatural.)

  4. Wilma

    I know that, objectively,she looks really good. I just can’t stand her. The only movie I enjoy her in is The Devil’s Advocate and in that one she kills herself. I still feel that one day she’ll show us that underneath it all, she truly is some robot or alien. I love the orange dress and wish someone else had gotten to it first.

  5. Tara Misu

    She looks gorgeous in both dresses. I agree with Lina, the shoes with the red dress disappear …. a sexy pump would have been a better choice.

  6. allisankelly

    Her hair makes me want to cut mine as well. And I KNOW I would HATE IT if I did. She’s looking great everywhere I’ve seen her.

  7. Sam

    She does need some red lipstick though, for both looks. Now she’s a zombie with good taste in fashion.

  8. Joyce


  9. Starsh

    Her mouth has always looked that way.

  10. Cristina

    Whatever she has done to her face (I’m thinking the same thing Madonna has had done recently, as they’re both looking very full-faced and puffy and full of plumpers) is a crime against nature. She’s gorgeous and only 36 years old. The last thing her face needs is plumping. Please, Hollywood, stop the plastic surgery madness!

  11. Molly

    My stepmom used to work with her and said she is even more gorgeous in person. She’s probably nice too! Gah!

  12. Sandra

    WOW!! In a good way.

  13. Christian

    Like them both, but she needs some lipstick STAT.

  14. Julia

    The second one made my stomach drop. I donʻt usually like her, but the overall look is stunning in that one!

  15. roser

    Crazy beautiful. Maybe in my next life I can look like that?

  16. Emily

    PLUS she’s getting rave reviews for her performance in Young Adult, so she’s talented and freakishly beautiful. Love the second dress. Love it.

  17. Jill

    This is how you pose. Effortlessly.

  18. Amy

    There is something not right about her foot in that second picture.

  19. Angie

    Even her feet are gorgeous. So not fair.

  20. vandalfan

    Tiny quibble: The leather number makes her boobs look a little low-set.

  21. filmcricket

    Hmm. I’m going to have to give an unequivocal “Nay” to the first one and a half-hearted “Yea” to the second one. I never realized that leather was as prone to wrinkling as satin, but there’s the proof. Also, the shoes are ugly, she needs a better bra, and she can wipe that Zellweger-esque, “I just ate a lemon” face off her head any time now.

    The 2nd one is much better as a dress, but she looks ridiculously washed out. Imagine if the bulk of the dress were an actual colour, instead of oatmeal-hued. Even a decent lip shade would help, but just think how great the dress would be if its primary colour were teal or something like that.

    I, of course, am perfectly clad and coiffed, and not sitting at home on a Friday night befriending a Baco Noir and watching “Monsters, Inc.” so I feel qualified to offer these corrections to a goddess in human form like Ms. Theron.

    • ChristopherD

      You are however completely correct “filmcricket”.
      As is vandalfan (oddly I think the leather one looks almost like the top is on backwards, and indeed why is it a two piece? It’d fit better if it were a dress.)
      And her feet look odd in #2,
      AND her lips/face did NOT always look like that, except to say her face is beginning to look a teeny bit like a parody of itself. So either stop making sucky face (which I HOPE is the problem) or enough with the fillers (which I FEAR is.)

    • Claire L

      filmcricket just made my night!

  22. Amanda

    yes, christopher, thats her face. just watch her in motion. they look. she may have a puckered expression here, but on video they look the same. this is someone who has watcher career since 2004 and i am looking now at pics from then to compare, same lips.

  23. GigiNYC

    God, she’s stunning. It’s simply not fair. Both dresses look amazing on her.

  24. yeahandalso

    Dlisted pointed out that her second dress looks like it has Batman on it and now that is all I can see.

    I don’t think she’s messed with her face, I think she is just making a weird expression in the first pic that makes her look like the hell spawn of Meg Ryan and Katherine Heigle

  25. anny

    @Amy – “There is something not right about her foot in that second picture.” Bull true, and what’s not right about it is that Fate put those shoes in her closet and not mine.

  26. ted

    all i wanted was to hear her fart!!!!!!!

  27. Sajorina

    LOVE!!! Absolutely GORGEOUS! That woman is made of PERFECTION and I can only wish I looked like that… “Sigh*

  28. Izalika

    Quoting Singin’ In The Rain? YES.

  29. Jolie Angie

    She is stunning and have gorgeous personality . . . . . I loved her in both the dresses but Second one is coolest . . . . . Belle Monde

  30. jean

    Cameron Diaz should take notes. Charlize looks cool and age-appropriate. Is she really 36? I’m startled by that for some reason, but I guess she has been around for a bit. I love the second dress more. It’s funny that some people joked she’s an alien because that dress looks like something Six would have worn on BSG and of course she WAS an alien.

  31. mj

    Before the second page even loaded, I had an entire internal debate over the merits of chopping my hair off again. It’s the same wavy blond. It’s been just like that before. But alas, my face is my face.

  32. Sonia

    She looks amazing, but don’t worry about her having a great personality as well. Saw her on Letterman and she was AWFUL. Full of herself and totally ekh.

    • Mare

      Whew! Thanks for that info…I was about to open a vein, then throw myself out a window. And I, too, would like to hear her fart. Sorry, bit b*tchy this a.m.!

  33. Jacq

    She’s beyond gorgeous, and that hair is so great on her (and so much nicer than the over-long hair that many celebs have). I’m not a huge fan of the first dress because it looks like it’s made of leather, and I find leather clothes to be uniformly hideous (plus, it looks like it would be too hot to wear and doesn’t look right with little strappy shoes).

    My only issue with Charlize Theron is the way in which she chose to adopt an American accent when she left South Africa. Fine, do it for your films, but to talk to a fake accent in your day to day life, like when you’re being interviewed, is weird. Madonna, I’m looking at you as well.

  34. k

    For some unknown reason she bugs me a bit, and I have to say this: every time I see her I am distracted by her clearly huge feet. Anyone? Bueller?

  35. Erin

    No need to look for flaws, just let her be perfect.

  36. NYCGirl

    She looks good in the first one, even though it appears to be made of Repurposed Couch. I don’t like the neckline of the second dress.

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