VMAs Fug Carpet: Rita Ora, with an assist from Demi Lovato


Maybe we’re just jet-lagged and tired; maybe we’re just insane. But Jessica and I had to stare at this moment on the show for about five minutes before we realized this wasn’t Anonymous MTV Starlet and Blonde Rihanna.

 

It is, of course, Rita Ora on the right up there wearing The Bumble’s armpit shavings as a sweater, and Demi Lovat on the left, proving that being on a show wherein she sits next to Britney also appears to be turning her INTO Britney. Child, if you suddenly have any unsightly urges to prod photographers with an umbrella, please do not turn to the side and ask for advice because La Spears didn’t exactly handle that with aplomb. It was fully sans plomb, in fact.

The fun thing about this, though, is that when I saw Rita on TV I thought, “Oh, vat of crazysauce.” But now that I’ve seen what she wore on the red carpet, I know that this was really just a crazy amuse bouche:

And THIS is the prime rib crazy platter, cooked rare, and served on a plate of nutballs with a side of creamed lunacy and a baked potato (because there should always be a baked potato — it’s one of life’s essential tenets). If Elvis had been reincarnated as a woman, he would have worn this. Well, check that; Elvis WAS reincarnated as a woman, and it was me, sadly for him (I was born on his exact death day). I have wasted his spirit. Sorry, Elvis. But if you ever decided to come forth and take over my body, I am pretty sure you will be bummed out that it’s not going to look good in this.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (33):

  1. LoriK
    0

    That dress is flat out horrible, but the reference to The Bumble almost makes it worthwhile.

  2. Dani
    0

    So I was in a bar earlier and they had the VMAs on one of the TVs, but muted. I happened to glance up when those two came onstage, and I swear to God, I thought it was Demi Lovato and some fabulous queen in Demi drag. Not that Rita Ora looks like a man, necessarily. It was just an optical illusion caused by the combo of drag-y makeup, the furry linebacker shoulder pads, and the height disparity.

    • Mair Mair
      +1

      No, I think you’re on to something here. I actually made the comment on the last Rita Ora post (which was the first time I’d ever seen/heard of her) that she looked like a guy in drag in some of the photos.

  3. Cassandra
    0

    That blonde hair is SO unflattering. I just can’t handle it. She’s very pretty, so why is she doing this to herself?!?

  4. Lyette
    0

    The only thing I can think of looking at that pantsuit is how much noise it must make when her legs touch as she walks. shhk shhk shhk

  5. Eliza Bennett
    +1

    Reincarnated Elvis explains a lot. The sparkles!

  6. Jen
    0

    I’d actually love the white one without the stupid fuzzy snow shoulders.

    The second – it’s so unflattering! She has such a cute figure, and it makes her look both wide & droopy.

  7. Carol
    +1

    Who is she again?

  8. Leelee
    0

    I actually really like the white dress – the shape is beautifully flattering. The moulting feathers… not so much.

    I don’t understand the second outfit or its existence in this world.

    • lindsay
      0

      agree. the white dress is cute – without the shoulder situation, obvi.

      the jumpsuit is an atrocity.

      • Francesca
        +1

        Just looked again at the jumpsuit and realized it’s a great backdrop for finger shadow puppets. Look at the shadows her of the crested bird (or crocodile – your call) that appear on the mesh. Now the jumpsuit has gone from the depths of ridiculousness to the splendor of stage backdrop.

  9. Francesca
    +1

    Rita has that self-assured smugness of someone who thinks they are looking awesome, and believes that everyone looking at her agrees with that assessment. (I would provide my high school yearbook photos for proof of that, but I’m not that cruel.) The good news is, Rita has nowhere to go but up, so I look forward to her Unfug one day.

  10. anny
    +1

    1. If she runs into anyone in that gown, who bounces?
    2. That is some spectacular bedazzlin’ on that onesie. Pity they didn’t put all that effort into something … attractive.

    • Gauthier
      +1

      I thought the same thing, what a horrible shame that that gorgeous bedazzling got wasted on such an ugly item of clothing. It must have taken many, many hours to craft the intricacy of that pattern, and it sees the light of day on a… Droopy onesie.

  11. Helen
    0

    I fully realize this means I’m as crazy as Rita’s stylist, but I, um (very small voice)… love these. To me it’s very show-biz, very – dare I say, Cher? With a soupçon of Elton John.

    Lovato, OTOH, just looks terrible. I would never have recognized her. That hair and makeup turn her 40.

  12. Lori
    0

    Those are some wonky boobs.

  13. Louise
    0

    Now, I’lll admit this is maybe not the place, but yes, baked potatoes are great. And yet, when I lived in the US, I couldn’t find a place that sold baked potatoes for lunch – with cheese, beans, coleslaw, chilli or whatnot – for love nor money. This in a town where I could get authentic Korean or Ethiopian food whenever the fancy should take me, yet not a baked spud in a foam box. Is there a reason for this atrocity, Americans?

    • LibraryChick
      0

      Louise, I think you were just unlucky in your baked potato quests. I can get baked potatoes in my college town of only 20,000 people. I can get them as a side to a meal or a la carte at a sit-down restaurant. Some of the sit-down restaurants also let you order menu items for take-out (including their baked potatoes). There are also a few baked potato options at Wendy’s if you’re looking at the fast food industry.

  14. witjunkie
    0

    The jumpsuit is sort of fabulous – straight across opaque inset would be preferable – but my teeth would be ground to powder from walking in it, with all those beads scratching against each other – aak.

  15. witjunkie
    0

    Oh, hey, Louise – didn’t Wendy’s have a baked potato in a styrofoam box? They used to.

    • LibraryChick
      0

      witjunkie, I double checked the wendys.com page. I still see Sour Cream & Chive Potato, Broccoli Cheese Potato, and Bacon Cheese Potato listed as options. I think Happy Joe’s or Hungry Hobo also used to offer various baked potato dishes.

      • Rebecca
        0

        LibraryChick – you must be from around where my hometown is (near Quad Cities, IL/IA) because no one else ever knows what Happy Joes & Hungry Hobo are! haha

        I would actually really love Rita’s white dress without all that shoulder madness. The actual dress part is pretty & fits her perfectly. OR it would have been great on Rihanna instead of that bad bed-sheety thing she wore.

      • Louise
        0

        Thanks! I never thought of checking out Wendys (this was SF, we don’t DO chains dontyouknow)
        Now I am madly craving a spud-u-like :)

  16. Art Eclectic
    +1

    Yall, Britney Spears will be wearing that pantsuit when she’s 60 and doing a two shows a night in Vegas.

    And it will still be sheer in the front and she will still not be wearing a bra.

  17. Shoeniverse
    +1

    Love Demi, strong girl who has overcome some very deep issues, and glad to see her looking so healthy albeit a little blonde for my own tastes. The other hot mess though, who is she?

    #www.shoeniverse.info

  18. Sajorina
    +1

    I think Demi looks FAB & SEXY! Enough said!

  19. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I LOVE the sleeves!

  20. Ms. A.
    +1

    Rita looks stupid. You ain’t that cool honey, trust.

  21. Lily1214
    +1

    Well . . . Rita resembles a drag queen.

  22. Akit
    0

    I dunno you know, if that beaded suit was reworked, covered all over, and with the hair in an up do – it could rock.

  23. electric
    0

    Maybe I’m totes crazy but I kind of like both outfits….