Fug File: Tony Awards

Tony Awards Well Played Carpet: Elisabeth Moss in Oscar de la Renta

Allegedly, selected Tony nominees have to have — excuse me, “get to have” — their Tonys ensemble approved by Anna Wintour this year, because I guess AW now owns the Tonys or something? On one hand, I’m sure it’s exciting to have Anna offer to help you figure out what to wear. On the other hand, my own internal stubborn streak would also make me want to say, “I am going to wear whatever I want, lady. Since when are you in charge of my wardrobe? I DO NOT WORK AT VOGUE.”

That being said, if Anna’s hands were at work here with our beloved erstwhile Peggy Olsen…


…I have to admit, I do approve. Dammit. This is exactly how she gets people to agree to things, isn’t it?

[Photo: Getty]


Tony Awards Viewing party WTF YAY Carpet: Sharon Stone

This is so hilarrible that Jessica and I actually clapped our hands and squealed when we saw it.

sharon stone

It’s a bodysuit under a backless sheer dress, and the gown part being ONLY on the front of her chest is what really makes this transcendently amusing. It genuinely feels like she is possessed. By a younger Noted Kook with nudist tendencies. Do we think she and Lindsay Lohan are having a Freaky Friday 2 moment? Is “Lindsay” off somewhere on a yacht in a skintight laced-up Cavalli telling stories about Michael Douglas, and that time a dragon tried to eat her husband, while “Sharon” frantically calls Oprah? Will this, too, end in an uncomfortable liplock with Chad Michael Murray?

Then again, the better question: If LiLo and Sharon switched bodies, would anyone actually even notice?

[Photo: Getty]



Tony Awards: Fugs and Fabs of the Rest

Well, they look about as stoked about this as I am. Remember, Leighton, Blair Waldorf was nothing if not an extremely polished salesman.

Let’s open this up, too, into a discussion of the Tony-nominated performances and plays. How did everyone feel about the winners? Do we think the likes of Bryan Cranston and Neil Patrick Harris should have won, or were they rewarded for the heft of their celebrity? That’s an honest question — I am sure both are fabulous in their roles, but I’m always curious about the allure of the crossover star when it comes to doling out these trophies. As much as it would be fun to vote in one of these things, though, ultimately I don’t envy the process of choosing, EXCEPT for how often it means I would get to go to the theatre. Man, I would be there ALL THE TIME. “Yeah, you know what, can I just go to A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder ONE more time? I’m REALLY TORN, YOU GUYS.”

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash]


Tony Awards Kookily Played: Fran Drescher

It’s my understanding that Fran Drescher is in Cinderella on Broadway.

But I think we can all agree that she’s wasted on any stage except that most noble of places: Eurovision. Although the harsh realities of geography bar us from competing, at the very least she could host the BBC America coverage that REALLY OUGHT TO HAPPEN AHEM PEOPLE GET ON IT. I can just hear her and, say, Anderson Cooper, dissecting the symbolism and pageantry of fire cannons, and who was too preachy and who was too sappy and whether there was enough eye-banging from the plaintive ballad singers, amid her dramatic readings of the English-translated lyrics. Suddenly the Polish entry this year feels incomplete without this experience.

[Photo: Splash News]


Tony Awards Fug Carpet: Idina Menzel in Zac Posen

I am ashamed of what I’m about to do, but it’s RIGHT THERE for the taking, so here goes:

Idina Menzel in Zac Posen at the Tony Awards

This seams on that thing are a worse botch-job than Adele Dazeem. ZING. TIP YOUR SERVER. Don’t order the soup.

[Photo: Splash]


Tony Awards Bummerly Played: Audra McDonald in Escada

Audra McDonald won a record sixth Tony Award — and wept really touchingly while doing it — and so I’m very sad she didn’t look as regal as her legacy.

Audra McDonald, Tony Awards

If you have just woken up in your home to breakfast in your Marimekko bed cooked by a dashing suitor, then yes, tuck that thing around yourself and dive in and enjoy. [Edited to be clearer: like the pattern a lot, don't care for the way it fits; I don't think it's working with her.] But when you are at the Tony Awards… at least look like you aren’t showing up wearing yesterday’s hair.

[Photo: Splash]