Fug File: red

Fab and then Feh: Shailene Woodley in Donna Karan Atelier at the Divergent Madrid Premiere

This dress is quite pretty  — and she looks nice in it, the color is great, and I covet that cuff bracelet — but she’s starting to look a little bit like she’s over this endless press tour:

Not in a bratty way, just in a sort of gazed over way, and, in the following photo, in a sartorial way:

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Fug of Wall Street: Margot Robbie in Paper London

It’s a jumpsuit parade today, which is one of the saddest kinds of parades there is.

If you have seen Wolf of Wall Street, you know every inch of Margot Robbie’s figure; if you haven’t, you can still probably imagine the truth, which is that her body is basically perfect. So the sins of this jumpsuit are egregious and varied. It’s mangling her chest, dropping her crotch, swelling her groin, and eating her feet. It’s the sartorial equivalent of handing a lovely classic painting to Shia LaBeouf and asking him to write poetry all over it: nothing but trouble.

[Photo: Getty]


Oscar Party Fugs and Fabs: Red Dresses

Oh, Sienna. To NAB is divine, but you may have binged on it a wee.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


Well Played, Mia Wasikowska

The words we used most often to refer to Mia Wasikowska were “dreary” and “almost.” Well, and “WHY,” probably. We can eliminate a couple of those now:

This fits very well and is lovely on her — not at all depressing, and in a way it reminds me of Jennifer Lawrence’s simple red Oscars gown from the Winter’s Bone days. Mia’s obviously isn’t as va-va-voom, but definitely a situation where she is wearing it and not the other way around. But you could still argue that it’s an “almost”: She’s in need of better lip color, and of course, NAB (“needs a bracelet” — I am never sure how many uses means we no longer need to define the acronym). But overall this is a good step, for her, I think, and as a result, her whole mien is cheerier than usual.

Then again, maybe that’s because of this:

Pretty dreary work having to walk around next to Hiddleston all day, eh? Of course, she COULD have straightened his tie. DEMERIT. ACCEPT ANY EXCUSE TO TWIDDLE THE HIDDLE.

[Photos: Getty]


ESPYs Fug or Fab: Selena Gomez

I checked in a close-up, and this is not see-through; it’s just backed by lace that’s the same color as her legs. I THINK. Let’s just go with that, because it’s easier on my wrinkles.

So where does that leave us: A cute, fun, frothy red frock, or a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace? I was going to say, “or both,” but really, that only applies if you NEED a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace. And if she does, and she is also REALLY TRULY dating Justin Bieber again, then well, imagining WHY she might need a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace just blew my head off my neck and left my noggin stuck up in a tree and not even facing the right way to peek in on any of my neighbors. WOE, THE INJUSTICE.

Save me:

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[Photo: Getty]



I’m confused.

Is she at the Miss Jumpsuit America 2013 pageant?

[Photo: Getty]