Fug File: pink

Fug or Fab: Amy Adams


I am REALLY BAD at identifying designers based on the clothes, but I took one look at that bodice and the draping and said, “Hello, Vivienne Westwood,” and I was right.

For an American Hustle party, I think it’s funny that she picked a dress that’s doing to her boobs the exact OPPOSITE of what all her costumes did (hoisting and fluffing versus flowing free). That part isn’t a bad look for her, and the color is certainly eye-grabbing in the vein of what she’s done this year after switching stylists.  But my beef is the stuff below the waist:

and not in a sexy way

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Fug or Fab: Naomi Watts


This dress looks like someone wrapped her in fuchsia snakeskin bandages.

And yet somehow, being in the clutches of twelve Velcro fingers works for her. Yeah, it’s pressing on her chest a little, but only a little, and her skin is freaking luminous. For those of you worried about Hollywood’s dwindling bracelet game, my view is that her entire body looks like a rack of them from an accessories store, so maybe one on her wrist would be a hat on a hat (to mix accessory references)(also, I would accept a hat on a hat, by the way, if it were a Pharrell hat on a Pharrell hat. I’m a little sick of that hat right now, but if a person stacked them, then maybe I’d be back in because that’d be some surrealist Mountie non-realness right there).

In sum: This sucker is weird and looks like she’s being mauled by a cartoon sea creature, but she is making that look gorgeous and so I think I might be in on this. I DID love Finding Nemo, after all.

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played, Sheryl Crow


The last few times we’ve seen Sheryl, it’s been rough sledding: a strapless denim jumpsuit (which I initially mistyped as “jumpshit,” and that was apt), weird boxy cutouts (with the same shoes she seems to be wearing here), and some Loki hair.

So this is automatically better, but also, I think, lovely on its own merits. It’s a very spring/summer color and cut, but it’s not like I expected her to show up for this in fur-trimmed red velvet with a white beard and a hat. So I say, live and let pink.

[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug It Up: Ke$ha


You could’ve told me this was Lady Gaga, and it might’ve taken a couple moments for me to question it.

But the thing is, that suit might be fun. It’s CRAZY, and it’s a hell brothel’s powder-room wallpaper, and Elton John probably has a version of it in bellbottoms, but it’s fun. Ke$ha usually hollows out my soul with a blunt spoon, so “fun” is really quite exciting here. HOWEVER: She punted on the shoes, and the shirt is a drag, and the heavy chains, and the sunglasses… Let’s brainstorm a way to sell that suit better. How would you style it so that it sings, rather than screeches? And no, putting it on someone else doesn’t count. Although if GOOP ran into frame and ripped it off Ke$ha’s body and ran into the ladies’ W.C., I’d stick around to see her come out of that bathroom.

[Photo: Splash]

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amfAR Gala Well Played (If Not Well Wrangled): Uma Thurman


I am enamored of what a diva Uma Thurman is becoming.

And I don’t mean that she is actually a crazy PERSON — she might be, and that’s fine; I don’t know anything about her personally — but rather that she has taken to walking the red carpet like she is the Crown Princess of Hot Damn. And in doing so, she may have made it true. Maybe I’ll try it. Look for me at the Wendy’s up the street in a huge dress.

Alas, she was, even briefly, bested by an aggressive corset.

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Fug or Fab: Anne Hathaway


So, I really, really was not sold on Anne’s blonde hair at the Met Ball. I will be the first to say that I ALSO didn’t think her features were optimized with the short hair, and then she had that awesome phase where she grew it out super stylishly and I fell in love with it and think she should keep it that way forever. So maybe I will come around on the blonde, too.

Having said THAT, I am not there yet — I think it’s way too brassy for her features, and I don’t like the phase that the short style is in right now (I felt that way when it was still brown, too), so that might be affecting my feelings too. Again, I fully realize I may eat those words in like two weeks when she does something fabulous to it and suddenly I want her to be a gilded lily forever, but fortunately, I enjoy eating, so that’s fine.

As for the dress, I don’t mind the idea of the shape and volume here, but I think in execution it’s making her look weirdly droopy. So basically, the last two times she’s worn baby pink, it’s caused boobular scrutiny that she’d probably rather have avoided. Please let’s not go for the charm with a third try.

Is it as bad as all that?

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[Photo: Getty]

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