Fug File: jumpsuit

Unfug or Fine: Maggie Gyllenhaal, With An Assist From Hot Viola Davis


So, yeah, I do realize this is a jumpsuit, and yet I am not approaching it with abject disapproval. I KNOW. I’m sure the lightheadedness of Abfest 2012 still has me in its clutches.

But seriously, that doesn’t look awful on her. At least, I don’t think so — okay, so part of it is sitting weirdly on her chest, like it’s sagging or needed to be pinned/pressed/taped, but it’s such a small thing. Otherwise, from this angle, I am far less enraged by the jumpsuit itself than I expected. My bigger question is with the styling, specifically the choice of jacket:

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Fug & Miss


I have no idea what this pattern is…

… but if I narrow my eyes and look in very specific spots, it looks like an ode to hamburgers. And I hope it IS, because look, if you’re going to stick yourself in a weirdly crotched jumpsuit**, making it an ode to the mighty meat sandwich is basically the only silver lining. Maybe the quasi-hat-head she’s sporting is because a minute ago she had on a giant sesame-seed bun sombrero. Let’s all hope.

**People with better eyes than mine say it’s a jacket and matching pants. The jury may be hung as to whether that makes it better or worse; we may be en route to a mistrial.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

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Fug or Fab: Kristen Wiig


This looks so familiar to me, and I had to rack my brain into split pea soup before realizing that I think it’s from the same family of Stella McCartney stuff as this jumpsuit, and these items worn by Rachel McAdams and Rumer Willis.

I think, understandably, that people get sick of me harping on about hating jumpsuits all the time. I get that. I get bored of me, too. It’s just that I have a very hard time being case-by-case with them, especially when Stella McCartney herself — who, by the way, seems like she has a great sense of humor – said that when she wore her version she had to have help going to the bathroom. AT THE MET BALL. So there’s a practicality hump I can’t get over, in addition to general recurring concerns about polterwang (not present here, thank goodness) or Inflating Pelvis Syndrome (marginally present) or any of a number of other concerns. Is this the worst jumpsuit, or even the worst version of THIS jumpsuit, that I have ever seen? No. Does that save it? I leave that to you. The harpy is letting YOU speak.

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Emma Fugberts


I’m tired of hating jumpsuits. That doesn’t mean I’m going to soften on them; just that, like leggings, I’m running out of emotional energy to deal with them. Now every time I see one, I just want to go lie down and hope Jessica writes about it instead.

I mean, look at it. That thing makes her lower half look enormous. They’re not pantaloons, they’re pantaballoons. And the rosette unfolds as if she knifed herself in the belly. There’s disliking a bleedin’ jumpsuit, and disliking a jumpsuit that actually looks like it’s bleeding. I score on both fronts, as it happens.

[Photo: Getty]

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This Place About To Fug


It’s… better?

No, it is. It’s better. Her hair is brushed, and appears clean. But we’re still dealing with the lower end of the scale here, and I’m disinclined to grade on a curve. I mean, if I did THAT, every man, woman, and Kardashian would end up with a respectable FPA (Fug Point Average). I am not sure what shoes one wears with 1.21 Jigawatt-themed jumpsuit, but I’m pretty sure those aren’t it.

And, correct me if I’m wrong…

will I be wrong?

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Fugs and Recreation


I’m sure my reaction to this jumpsuit is totally predictable.

But that doesn’t mean it’s WRONG, either. She looks like she’s in intensive training for the United Mechanics Association’s square dancing marathon.

[Photo: Getty]

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