Fug File: jumpsuit


Margarita Leveiva must be bummed out that she got whacked from Revenge before Justin Hartley got cast on it, because he is hot and charming (and the person from Passions, or anything really, that we most want to see back on TV playing a charming rogue)(although Precious the orangutan is on that list as well)(and poor Julian, who had to endure an accidental castration and then his drunk surgeon girlfriend sewing it back on a backward, to where any arousal at all WOULD KILL HIM)(that is rough)(and then he unknowingly slept with a half-man, half-woman who was his… half-son, I guess?)(also rough)(I miss that show). Although I’m sure she probably would’ve been marooned in other scenes with her drippy bar-owner boyfriend and their old-age pensioner baby named Carl. Seriously, “Carl” is just one of those names that I feel like people should be legally prohibited from using until they hit fifty. Like Ethel.

Anyway, the passions that I feel about this are of the negative variety:

Obviously, jumpsuits = boo. (Isn’t THAT some elegant language.) But this one is even more irritating because either she or the designer cuffed the limb holes so that they’re at really unflattering lengths. She’s like a balloon, slowly inflating. At least the shoes have potential. Please rescue them, Margarita, and give them a better future.

[Photo: Getty]



I’m confused.

Is she at the Miss Jumpsuit America 2013 pageant?

[Photo: Getty]


Fug The Trouser-Based Outfits

They just kept popping up, so I decided to put them all together in a little slideshow ode to Please Stop Trying To Ruin Pants Because We Need Other Starlets To Wear Them.

[Photos: WENN]


Billboard Music Awards Fug or Fab: Miley Cyrus

Look, this is daft. But after the mind-numbingly unimaginative naked-crazy of Jennifer Morrison, I appreciate a girl who decides to go somewhere dressed as one of Liberace’s drawing rooms.

What do you think?

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[Photos: Getty]


Fug Upon A Time

I think possibly every person in the background of this photo — be it amusedly or with flinty awkwardness — is thinking some version of the following:  ”WHAT? NO.”

I mean, the horribly fit top, the wrinkles, the Frowny Groinparts… Even the baby is averting her eyes. Clever girl.

[Photo: Splash News]


Fug, then Fab: Hailee Steinfeld

The little old granny bursting at the seams of my soul REALLY can’t handle a girl Hailee’s age wearing anything even REMOTELY transparent.

I shouldn’t be able to see undergarments, I shouldn’t be wondering what percentage of this thing is lined, and I really shouldn’t be grimacing at what’s happening to her pelvis because my eyes should not BE on her pelvis because she is a fetus. Her pelvis is nobody’s business at this age. Don’t make me do illegal things just by virtue of having eyes, kid. Also, not for nothing: That is not a good jumpsuit. It’s like she’s been seized by creeping vines.

Fortunately, at a different event on the same night, she managed to be interesting in a better way:

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