It’s no surprise to me that I am drawn to ScarJo’s rainbow Balmain; it reminds me of a jumpsuit Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore ages ago which I thought was cool (and which Chrissy Teigen repurposed). Her style on this press tour has been so bad — I still cannot get over the atrocities of this; she looks like one of JB Fletcher’s many nieces on Murder She Wrote — and she hasn’t gone slinky in a long time, so I came at this with warmly positive feelings. They’re chilling a little, though. The dress is pancaking her, and can we talk about how bad her makeup is? I could live with the punky hair, but the pinky lip is a big no for me with this. The whole palette has no edge, which it badly needs; she eradicated her lips and didn’t even uber-smoke her eyes to try and counterbalance it. Honestly, this feels like she’s trying out her Ruby Rose Halloween costume, except without having done enough research. It’s called Google, y’all, and it’s very helpful and also everywhere.