“Wow, look at Liam. His mouth is closed. His mouth is never closed. I watched the whole of The Last Song right before we shot Hunger Games and he didn’t close his mouth. I just assumed his nose didn’t work. How is he breathing? Maybe it DOES work. Does his suit fit? Is the shirt kind of sloppy? Man, he’s tall. Is that why they didn’t have Josh Hutcherson come out with us? Because he’s not as tall? Are people going to hate this movie because Josh Hutcherson isn’t that tall? And… what am I wearing? No, really, that is a legit question.”

“I thought this was pretty. It might be pretty. But it also looks like a harp made of paisley. Or really fancy property gate, maybe on one of those fictional mansions in the fictional Panem capital. Oh, God, I’m dressed like a BUILDING. A building with NIPPLE SWIRLS.  Why didn’t I notice how SPECIFIC the swirl placement is? And is my shoe a half-size too big? HELLO? AM I TALKING TO MYSELF HERE? IS ANYONE GOING TO ANSWER ME.”

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[Photos: Getty]