This is becoming a tradition: a mid-tier awards show pops up, and an increasingly large handful of celebrities blow off the red carpet and just pop inside to get their trophy or perform and then burn rubber outta there. To which I say, every time, HUMBUG. Especially here. This is the People’s Choice Awards. Everyone who agrees to come to this thing either knows they won, or wants the press, or both. And it’s fan voted. You get the clothes and an award and validation from a bunch of Internet strangers and screamers, and the designer and the show get exposure and great pictures and some sound bites on E!. Complete the transaction, friends! The people did not choose you so that you could slip in and out the back door like a teenager trying not to get caught in their paramour’s bedroom! If Ryan freaking Reynolds can drag himself down the red carpet, then so can you, Mariska Hargitay and Lizzo and Amy Poehler (!) and… Kris Jenner??! Since when has KRIS JENNER balked at a red carpet? Did she just get stuck in traffic? Someday, all you people will be home with nothing to do, and you will think, “Damn, I wish I’d walked all those red carpets I skipped, because today those memories could keep me warm,” MARK MY WORDS!!!!!!!

Or not. But FYI, I will be a crank about this until the end of time. (Selma Blair gets a pass; she has M.S. and had to save her energy for winning Best Competition Contestant. Congrats, Selma!)

[Photos: Rob Latour/Shutterstock, Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/Shutterstock]