The Fug-or-Fab Life: Tyra Banks


I usually rather like Tyra’s new spunky short haircut, and she can pull off stuff — by virtue of her wackadoo Tyraness — that few other people can. This post from the Daytime Emmys is a shining example of the good hair and cockamamie clothes that work. But this? I have doubts:

tyra banks antm

It’s Dynasty mixed with a shoulder split mixed with toe shoes mixed with soft ankle restraints mixed with a monasterial bowl cut tinged with something that shrank in the wash. Too much, Tyra. Which, incidentally, is also my three-word review of Modelland, her YA book, and if you haven’t read it… if you want ANTM meets Harry Potter meets Pan’s Labyrinth meets actual Labyrinth meets LSD, then it is the book for you.

We should also discuss her new talk show, which co-stars Chrissy Teigen and Joe Zee. The short trailer for it is after the jump:

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Fug or Fab the Cover: Sarah Jessica Parker on Cosmopolitan, August 2015


Cosmo is REALLy into this one particular font right now: The same one from “Oh My Goddess” and other parts of this cover was the one they used last month to shriek about sex next to Nicki Minaj, and yes, also the one from May’s 50th Anniversary Sex Issue starring Madonna. It’s like they have a new toy they can’t put down.

Sarah Jessica Parker, Cosmopolitan, August 2015

Sidebar: I’ve given up on understanding how “HOT SUMMER SEX” differs from last month’s WILD SUMMER SEX” — much less from “SEX SO HOT” (June, and that same font again) or “SEX SEX SEX” (May). Do they get paid by the sextion — I mean, the mention?

Otherwise, I think SJP’s hair at least looks great. She is famously naturally curly, and while this may be the blown-out-and-recurled iteration of that, I still at least appreciate that she’s willing to be seen with waves in her hair (LE SIGH, Kidman and Keri Russell and Julianna Margulies). I wish the pose and the facial expression had a little more personality to it — a touch of Nice Girl to temper the fierce, showing she can be both — and a lot less tension in her mouth. But my real beef is the dress. It’s kind of Real Housewives, no? And am I crazy, or does this make her look like she has Anna Nicole-style falsies in there? Maybe she does; maybe it’s not an optical illusion. I don’t even mean it as a judgment. I just genuinely don’t think I have ever noticed her cleavage size before, and so I’m unaccustomed to having them greet me so enthusiastically. But I do know this: Nothing has ever made me so grateful to have dated in the Stone Age than the phrase “Decode His Snapchats.” That sounds mentally exhausting and like a recipe for a Lifetime movie that doesn’t end in the woman’s favor.

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TCAs Fugs and Fabs: Netflix


There was a time, a decade ago, when I thought to myself, “I should buy Netflix stock… nah, it’s a little expensive.” REGRETS. So many regrets.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Elsa Pataky in Alberta Ferretti


fug-or-fab

Well, listen. Many celebs are on a yacht right now. And that is why we are talking about Elsa Pataky — no offense, Elsa. I am sure you are picking up what I am putting down.

VACATION Premieres in LA

And here’s the thing. I can’t decide if this dress (which, honestly, I think I like better on her than I do on the model) is:

a) a dressed up negligee;

b) a dressed DOWN bridesmaid’s dress, or;

c) something one of the more elegant Housewives might wear to Elopement #3 Or Above.

Which makes it very hard to know how, accordingly, to finish this post.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Mostly Well Played, Christina Applegate


To me, this is a real scrolldown fug, and you have to REALLY scroll WAY down for it to go truly wrong, as far as I am concerned (you may disagree, of course, and PLEASE DO):

'Vacation' Los Angeles Premiere

I feel like the shoes are a weird choice — I might just be over the platform in this particular iteration? — but mostly, she looks swell. That zing of yellow is fresh, like the clothing version of a splash of citrus. All that said: Vacation seems like a travesty of truth and justice, and if you are one of those people who delights in reading brutal movie reviews, between it and Pixels, this week must feel like Christmas.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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The Recent Fugs and Fabs of Olivia Palermo


Olivia Palermo is one of those Famous For No Reason people — she was on The City, with Whitney Port, where she mostly just had great hair, and during That One Year That New York Socialites Were Really A Thing, she famously allegedly wrote this letter to a bunch of other socialites, telling them to be nicer, which was then leaked. (You really need to read that article, by the way. It’s fascinating. I once witnessed one of the people who wrote Socialite Rank fall over a wall onto a runway at Fashion Week and break his arm, at a show that was totally a deathtrap, which is mentioned in the piece. Those were the days for a Fashion Week reporter, you guys. Stuff really happened.) Well, who’s laughing now? OP is the only one that’s ever getting photographed anymore, and she has done a ton of consulting and branding work. Who knows if she’s any good at it, really, but she’s DOING it. She’s also, I must admit, legitimately pretty good at dressing herself. Let’s look at some of the stuff she’s worn lately.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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