Kim Fugphries


Good lord, Kimberly.

She looks like the Mother Superior of a rare order of nuns who live at The Convent of the Garden Party, where they do charitable work on each others’ pedicures and meticulously maintain a gazebo, a lily pond, a patio, and some caged pedestals where various NBA players are locked for weeks at a time. Vespers are every morning at the crack of dawn — so, 11 a.m. sharp — and you are to bring your own eyelash extensions, although the Bellinis are free. Celibacy is encouraged during that time of reflection, but not required, especially if nobody can see you.

Even Kourtney is like, “You’re getting this, right? You are. Thank God. Because this is happening.”

[Photo: Splash News]

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Comments (47):

  1. kersten
    0

    She is looking more and more like her wax figurine everyday. It’s scary.

    This outfit makes me long for the days she wore bandage dresses everywhere.

  2. Lina
    0

    Whoa. Does she not realize Dynasty, Dallas, and Knots Landing were FICTIONAL?

  3. vandalfan
    0

    Positive: The trousers are hemmed correctly. I for once am enjoying the expression on a K’s, specifically the sister’s, face.

  4. becs
    0

    Nice writing. Enjoyed it.

  5. Mouse
    0

    See through cream pants….white blouse and hat….ridiculous posturing and attempt to look classy. Failed. Kourtney definitely looks like she’s holding in a snicker….

  6. Daffodil
    0

    For the love of all that is holy, take your trousers to the tailor and have them remove the pockets!

  7. Mouse
    0

    ALSO – EOnline is comparing her to Cher:

    http://ca.eonline.com/news/fashion_face-off_kim_kardashian_vs_cher/268217

    As IF there’s a contest?!

    • filmcricket
      0

      That’s exactly who I thought she was referencing, actually, so I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.

  8. jen
    0

    for the love of god girls, please no more Kardashian posts! i know this is probably not going to happen as they are senior ambassadors of fug and douchebaggery. perhaps give us a warning, like a NSFW but instead a KRWMYBIYM (Kardashian related: Will make you barf in your mouth)?

    Otherwise keep up the fabulous work!

  9. Beth
    0

    Wait, I’m confused. Are you trying to say that this weird convent is made up of some kind of vampire, and that their day ends at 11 a.m.? Vespers is, by definition, an evening mass…

  10. Crystal
    0

    This isn’t really relevant to her outfit, but has anyone else noticed that ever since she got what she wanted out of him (a circus wedding), Mr. Humphries has disappeared? We know he’s not busy working! Plus it looks like those girls are in NYC, his stopping grounds. WHERE IS SHE HIDING HIM?! Maybe in that crazy hat she’s wearing.

  11. LoriK
    0

    Why are people trying to make very high-waisted pants happen again? It looks like her pants desperately want to be an Empire waist dress. That look is no one’s friend.

  12. Carolina Girl
    0

    The second best part of all this (after the commentary, of course) is the look on Kourtney’s face. Even though since she is on MARGINALLY better dressed than the other one, she has very little room to smirk.

  13. Stefanie
    0

    Didnt J.LO do this like 5 years ago? And better I might add.

  14. Sajorina
    0

    What are you doing to me, Heather? I read the post title and immediately said “URGHHHH” without having seen the outfit yet! And, OMG, WTF? EEEEEWWWWWW!!!

  15. Diana
    0

    Personally, I’m distracted with how much Kim looks like Teri Hatcher in the first pic. Anyone else?!? I hope for Teri’s sake that she wouldn’t be caught dead in this outfit…

  16. Anne B
    0

    Today’s reading is from The First Book Of Cher.

    “And I say unto thee, Seekers of Fame: if ever I have worn a look, it is unnecessary for anyone with faith in fashion to wear that look again.”

    Praise be to Cher.

  17. Kristin
    0

    Why does she dress like she’s 60? I’m glad she’s somewhat covered…but she looks like she should be on Dynasty. Who wears that hat??

  18. Libby
    0

    I just saw a TV ad for the new Kardashian klothing kollection at SEARS. So my question is: who on earth wants to emulate their look? Seriously!!?!

  19. Jen
    0

    Good Lord! Why oh WHY are these people famous? Yes she’s hot but their collective fashion sense is embarrassing and not in a wacky at least she’s trying way. I’d take a straight shot of Phoebe Price with a Bai Ling chaser over this boring mess any day of the week.

  20. Maisie
    0

    (sigh) What would it take to make them all just please go away and not come back until they’ve actually contributed something worthwhile to society, thereby justifying the space they take up online and in print (not to mention the oxygen they suck out of the air). . . .

  21. Alexandra
    0

    Channeling Bianca Jagger are we? Please have a seat, Mrs. Humphries.

  22. Linney
    0

    It’s always unfortunate when your ass looks geriatric.

  23. G
    0

    They both need to either get their skin colors consistent or keep their hands away from their faces. The hands look like they belong to white people but the faces are orange, which seems to be a new race developing in Hollywood.

  24. Miss L.
    0

    I feel like she’s wearing a cheap version of something Yoko Ono probably wore once. That’s, like, NEVER a good thing.

  25. debra
    0

    Doesn’t she know you are never supposed to wear white after labor day…or at your 2nd marriage for that matter….Good God enough with these nobody’s…how about a moratorium…no skanky famewhores for 1 week…come on Fug Girls…we all know you can do it for the greater good!!!

  26. Claire L
    0

    Does she own ANYTHING that is made out of natural fabrics? Honestly, everytime I see her I think of the late 70′s when my mom had all polyester pants and slippery shiny satin shirts….

  27. Allie
    0

    “Good lord, Kimberly” is how I plan to start a lot of sentences from now on.

  28. Jackie
    0

    Hey, Kim,

    YOUR WHITES DON’T MATCH.

    That’s it.

    Jackie

  29. cd
    0

    I was thinking Jacklyn Smith circa Charlie’s Angels (and she rocked it then, but of course Ms. Smith would have matched her whites.)

  30. Frances
    0

    Ok, it would seem I’m in the minority here, but I love the hat and blouse. I think it would be so confidently gorgeous paired with, say, a simple black pencil skirt. Anyone with me?

  31. jenny
    0

    Just so I’m clear: you take hours to dress up in ridiculous outfits, then march out one door and into another for 10 seconds while making self-important faces at some idiots who take your picture, then you head off to buy more ridiculous outfits…and repeat into eternity. That’s it? Right? That is your sole goal and purpose in life, ladies?

    • Ladyblahblah
      0

      That’s unfair, jenny. They also spend a good bit of time having every professional athlete in America mount them.

  32. Chris
    0

    You know, a local high school (well, KIND of local) uses a cardinal as its mascot. However, since the town’s name begins with a K, they spell it Kardinals, and have as long as I can remember.

    I note this because yesterday I saw a young woman wearing a volleyball sweatshirt from said school and had to keep myself from falling into Kardashian-induced rage.

    The blouse is fine, and even for a woman who is most notorious for her large posterior, the high-waisted slacks aren’t THAT heinous. (And to be honest, I like the white/off-white contrast.) The hat, on the other hand, is WAY too much with that outfit and pushes it from chic ’70′s reference into costume territory.

    Also, is it just me, or would Fug Nation pair everything with pencil skirts or skinny jeans if given the chance?

  33. ccm800
    0

    She is her own wax figure.

  34. Emma
    0

    I still don’t even really know what a Kardashian is. I want them off my internets.

  35. kate
    0

    don’t care for it at all..it’s too 70s, and not in a good way! :-)
    but is it possible kim is partially on trend?.. as soft, floppy hats are supposedly making a come back..
    (what her sis has on is bangin!)

  36. Elise
    0

    Oh yuck! What year does she think it is? Also I find that she ages herself by about 20 years whenever she gets dressed in the morning. Why does she want to look 50 if she’s only 29 or 30 or whatever she is?