Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Lindsay Lohan

Okay, we’ve put this off long enough… let’s strap in and do this thing:

First, I think it is a crazy, crazy thing that she’s decided to be a blonde pretty much permanently. And not even just because I love the red; I just think she looks terrible as a blonde. It’s SO chemical, and makes her look unhealthy. And a LOT like her mother, of whom I am not a fan (I mean, leaving aside all actual GOOD reasons to find her shady… lady, your gravy train is breaking down on your watch — you’re not even a good MOOCHER). Second, while I appreciate that Lindsay does not look desperate — the redefinition of which is under Wasson, Erin, in the dictionary — and even MORE thrilled that she’s not wearing a chain-mail hoodie, I don’t know if this helps me take her any more seriously, either. It’s so heavy and musty, and by the end of the night you know that thing was replete with armpit stains. Thirdly, in conjunction with the hair, it isn’t doing her complexion any favors. Fourthly:

When she put the fur on, somehow it made her look like she’d bought it all at an Estate Sale. I don’t know. It’s like she tried to class up the joint but doesn’t remember how anymore. Still, let’s hope the attempt means she’s straightening out her head and might stay out of prison for a while and could even wind up, I don’t know, working?┬áBecause as crabby as you know I can be, I’m still a sucker for a happy ending.

[Photos: Getty]


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Comments (49):

  1. Anna Svahn

    I couldn’t help thinking how lovely this color would have looked on her if she were a redhead again.

  2. Jane

    Bra. BRABRABRABRABRA. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease buy a bra, Lindsay. Those things should be like four inches higher. And the hair. My God. And makeup? Try it. And oh, Lord, everything here is wrong. Please let me help you.

    • Annie E

      She’s definitely wearing makeup…

      • Jill

        Yeah, but only on her eyes, it seems. The rest of her looks all… bare and shiny, and not in a good way.

    • Beth C.

      I agree. I actually like this, though I think it would be even better in a darker color, not even a lot darker, but a nice rose color or something for a bit more contrast. But yeah, she needs to wear a good, old fashioned 18-hour cross-your-heart with this. Big boobed girls in high necks need to keep the girls locked and loaded (to borrow a term from Clinton and Stacy) or you look dowdy and droopy. I learned this from experience, so I get it, Lindsay, no one likes the grandma bra, but sometimes it’s your best friend.

  3. Dazie

    Make it knee length and we’d have a qualified winner. Winner with an asterisk. WINNER*

    (* just because she’s not all- you know- whorey looking)

  4. LoriK

    The last picture screams “short robe over a long nightgown” and makes her look like a confused octogenarian. That is not a picture she should be putting in anyone’s head if she wants to make a comeback.

    Honestly, for her sake I sort of wish she’d just quit Hollywood forever, go to school and then get a regular job. Fame is just not working out for her.

  5. Softwear

    Oh Lindsay. Go back to your original lip size. Your original hair colour. Never wear those shoes, or a fur, again. That’s all we can do for now.

  6. Pebbles36

    Completely agree with Anna; Lindsay as redhead would look amazing in this color! I want to love you Lindsay, and I know you’re really trying, but…

  7. gladly

    Oh, it’s like Miss Havisham goes to the Golden Globes. I could be projecting, but she looks like she’s trying so hard to look sane–or at least not crazy, or maybe even not a danger to herself and others. Add the fur to it, and I get this sense that she’s going to be digging her nails into her palms all night to try and stop herself from screaming that Michelle Williams’ Golden Globe should have been hers!

    • elle

      This is the real deal; it’s like joan crawford goes to the globes, redolent of old hollywood (remember I’m a star), appropriately skin colored (gawd I’m hot), bleached out scraggy hair (marilyn is my model, and I’m smart and misunderstood like her too!) Because she’s so polished most of her character is relayed by her nose, just not sure what that nose is saying. Anyway, it would be so interesting to watch her progress to an authentic life in whatever field she chose.

    • Karen

      Nice. I was thinking “Norma Desmond as bag lady” for that second photo. Or, “Sunset Boulevard” at the low-rent retirement home. She looks seriously skeevy in both, but the short-sleeved ratty fur is too much for me to bear.

  8. Louise

    I’m just so happy to see her fully clothed that I will forgive all fashion crimes this outfit commits. That hair just breaks my heart, though. It makes her look even more haggard than she is.

  9. jjdaddyo

    With the hair and the fur, I get a total Gloria Swanson vibe.

  10. Sam

    Straightening out her head? By crashing Golden Globes parties through the back entrance? Not likely.
    The dress is blah, ditto on the terrible hair and bralessness and why anyone in this day and age would still wear fur is beyond me.

  11. Katie Bird

    I have a feeling that every time ole’ Linds ventures to an event in the next couple of months she’s going to do her best to shove (what she considers to be) Old Hollywood Glamour down our throats. (Liz Taylor biopic, anyone?)

  12. Holly

    argh. Look at her FACE in the chainmail hoodie compared to how it looks now, only a year later. The last year has not been kind to it, the hair and the dress do not help.
    Surely she must realise that *no-one* will take her seriously as an actress anymore, at least not unless she disappears out of the spotlight completely for a good 10-years, sorts her entire life out, lives a normal life for a bit, and then re-enters as a balanced human being, doing small bits on TV….and thats only a maybe. Shes beginning to look so desperate in her deluded sense of self-importance its almost not funny anymore

  13. Eliza Bennett

    Grey gardens.

  14. mary

    estranged olsen triplet

  15. lisas

    It makes me crazy that someone so naturally lovely would do such terrible things to her face. With needles.

    I’ve given up on the hair forevermore, ugh, even that boring dark brown she was so attached to would be an improvement on the barbie doll blonde.

    Finally, I don’t know why Lindsay busts out this shade of pink or beige or whatever snore it’s called. It almost always washes her out and makes her makeup look way more aggressive than it is. Remember that pink fur coat? Yikes.

    I’m also still pulling for her. I don’t know why, but I am. Yes, I know. Yes, I know that too.

    • Tracy L

      Remember how amazing she looked in Mean Girls? Especially when she was being the regular girl and not the plastic girl? It’s like she is the queen of the plastics now, and not in a Rachael McAdams way at all.
      Wish so much she could wake herself up and go back to at least the way that girl looked. A little heavier, a normal face and great hair. Oh yeah and she could act then too.

  16. Ivy

    i can’t imagine she reads this blog, but, just as everyone is saying, get rid of the bleach blonde! i don’t understand in what world that looks good. common sense tells you that when this pale, it just washes you out and makes you look sick, or nonexistent, and it has to be hard to keep up with, and in the end you hair is fried. i wish someone would tell her how it really looks. i wish she would read this blog entry. i feel so sad for her. and her boobs are way too saggy for her age and lack of breastfeeding.

  17. MelissaW

    This would have been fabulous with her red hair.

    Otherwise, at least she’s wearing clothes and doesn’t look nearly as coked-out as she has previously.

  18. MarlyLew

    With the blond hair, this outfit makes her disappear into the background…which is where she needs to go…and stay! #her15minutesareover

  19. Melly

    She reeks of Red Bull and fries, I can smell it from my desk. Poor girl. The odds were always stacked against her with a mother and father like she has.

  20. Mia

    Oh, honey. No. Her tweaked-out hair, her carved-up nose, her fish lips… all of these things make me sad. The dress doesn’t help. Lindsay, just stop.

  21. Sajorina

    The dress is actually nice, but too old for her and one can barely appreciate it because she’s now a monochromatic mass (mess?)! I do want the best for her, but this isn’t it!

  22. KSCnCA

    Let’s just send her back in time to the Parent Trap days and give her a second chance!

  23. Sandra

    She was such an adorable little girl. This makes me sad.

  24. vandalfan

    Chris Rock said that daddies were put on earth to “keep their daughters off the pole!” Her dad bought her the pole and mom gave her lessons. I’m on Team Lilo, I’m rooting for her so hard not to become an Amy Winehouse.

    • Sajorina

      I couldn’t agree more!

      • Mahastee

        Yes. Exactly. Poor girl needs to move far, far, away from the toxic influence of her family. Maybe she could work at a wildlife park or something (animals don’t judge) for a few years, get some normality and we will be waiting for her triumphant comeback with open arms.

  25. Wren

    This photo inspired me to go back through the tagged posts to see just how long this terrible spiral has been going on. You guys were fugging her all the way back in 2005. That’s seven years of terrible choices (ehem, fashion-wise, we won’t comment on the rest). The sad thing is the fugs from long ago seem lovely in comparison:

    I almost want to ask for a Fugtrospective, but it seems too sad.

    • JanetP

      Oh, damn. Just looked at that page. A Fugtrospective would be wayyyy too sad.

  26. Wren

    (Not sure if “fugging” is exactly right, but the rest stands…)

  27. Cranky Old Batt

    Terrible, pasty, yucky as a blond.

    And all the Klass of Snooki.

  28. Hel

    I don’t understand. Red hair is so in right now. Some actresses even die their hair red. It’s your natural color and you die it this fake-looking awful blondish color?

  29. Emma

    Lindsay Lohan could have been an early Emma Stone (although not as clever). She used to be a cute freckled red-head, and she was likeable in Mean Girls. Now she looks like a washed-up, washed-out, middle-aged, peroxide blonde has-been.

  30. Mahastee


  31. Rubee

    The problem is not the dress, but how many regrettable things she’s been doing to her face and hair. This dress is elegant and classic and it could have worked as an admirable canvas of what her natural beauty was. Her original sleek red hair, gathered in an updo… A natural pucker in a stronger lipstick color and not these hideous goldfish lips…An additional pull-up to her brastraps… I’m rooting for her too. Her disasterous behaviour has made most people forget how good an actress she is… I really want to see her walking in the straight and narrow again. Go, Linds!

  32. Megan

    The impression I get from linds is that she really does love attention & could never leave this industry with out hitting rock bottom or w ith out a lot of help. She seems a bit deluded in her self importance & I bet she thinks she looks fab, classy & the next Monroe! Sad.. Sigh
    The dress is not flattering for her chest. The colous are wrong for her skin tone. The hair is awful – cut it of make a bob & start over! Maybe get a facial :)

  33. GABS

    Hmmm… This would have looked fantastic with her natural hair-color, co it’s not totally a fug for me… She’s giving me hope for her wich is a thing I thought was lost for a long time.
    Also, is it just me or she starting to look like the poor man’s Rose McGowan ? I first thought about it when I saw the leaked photos of her playboy shoot.

  34. aa

    i just want her to go awayyyyyyy. we have emma stone now… maybe they can edit her into mean girls and we can forget this white trash loser ever existed.

  35. MaryAnne

    GABS, I had almost the same reaction: “Isn’t that the replacement witch from Charmed … Rose something?”

    But not the cute dark-haired Charmed version, the after-cancellation, bleached-out, post-surgery version.

  36. RenaissanceGrrl

    You know what? She doesn’t look scarily thin, she seems aware of where she is and kinda perky, and showered, and her hair looks as good as it can for being blonde. This is not the best color, or the best cut, but damn if it isn’t the best I’ve seen her look in months. Maybe even years.