Okay, we’ve put this off long enough… let’s strap in and do this thing:

First, I think it is a crazy, crazy thing that she’s decided to be a blonde pretty much permanently. And not even just because I love the red; I just think she looks terrible as a blonde. It’s SO chemical, and makes her look unhealthy. And a LOT like her mother, of whom I am not a fan (I mean, leaving aside all actual GOOD reasons to find her shady… lady, your gravy train is breaking down on your watch — you’re not even a good MOOCHER). Second, while I appreciate that Lindsay does not look desperate — the redefinition of which is under Wasson, Erin, in the dictionary — and even MORE thrilled that she’s not wearing a chain-mail hoodie, I don’t know if this helps me take her any more seriously, either. It’s so heavy and musty, and by the end of the night you know that thing was replete with armpit stains. Thirdly, in conjunction with the hair, it isn’t doing her complexion any favors. Fourthly:

When she put the fur on, somehow it made her look like she’d bought it all at an Estate Sale. I don’t know. It’s like she tried to class up the joint but doesn’t remember how anymore. Still, let’s hope the attempt means she’s straightening out her head and might stay out of prison for a while and could even wind up, I don’t know, working? Because as crabby as you know I can be, I’m still a sucker for a happy ending.

[Photos: Getty]