Fugcess Stefugnie

I get a kick out of Princess Stephanie. In addition to having her own perfume and an aborted international music career (although she does have one of the top-selling singles of all time in France), she also once took her kids and ran off with an elephant trainer and basically lived in his circus van or whatever. So put her on my list of people who’d be good company in a stalled elevator — you know she has some really good stories.

She may also be experiencing some kind of amnesia in which she thinks she is still WITH said circus:

I don’t know what her act is. Knife-throwing? Beer-stacking? Wench-tossing? It’s funny, Princess Stephanie seems to be Princess Prisoner’s opposite number. Poor old Charlene is just trying to stay lightly gilded and otherwise totally neutral and inoffensive until she can get Katie Holmes’ contact information and hire her as an escape consultant; conversely, Stephanie is as burnished as an antique table, and popping by fundraisers dressed as Cruella de Vil’s personal barmaid. Which strangely makes me even MORE hopeful for that stuck elevator.

[Photo: WENN]

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Comments (32):

  1. Sandra

    Stephanie was born and raised in the crazy; Charlene was not. Apparently the circus thing is a big deal for all the Grimaldis. Prince Rainier was a dedicated fan and they have a huge international circus festival in Monaco every winter.

    Stephanie has done a whole bunch of weird stuff, but having your mom die beside you in a car crash when you’re 17 has to mess you up (whether you were driving, or she was driving and you were arguing, or it was just total bad luck).

    The outfit is atrocious, of course. She and I are of an age and the last time I went anywhere dressed like that was a Halloween party at a frat house in 1986. And even then I covered my shoulders.

    • LoriK

      Stephanie and I are almost the same age (birthdays less than a month apart) and my first response to this picture was, “Oh honey, we are too old for this. And have been for a while.”

  2. flitzy

    Where was she going?

  3. Billie

    Wherever she is, it seems it was a themed event. Either that, or the people in the background are dressed equally atrocious.

    I also like to think she is wearing those shoes because her pirate booties were just too painful to wear for the entire evening.

  4. K

    Her bag matches though, as does the guy in the picture with her.

  5. Eliza Bennett

    “Cruella de Vil’s personal barmaid.” GFY Jessica, you light up my life.

  6. vandalfan

    Yes, judging by the Puffy Red Sleeve walking next to her, she is in some type of traditional costume and just got off stage. Let’s see- a pleather bustier and disco skirt. Hmm-. Clog dancing The Hustle?

  7. em

    Didn’t she marry a circus acrobat for a year in 2003?

    I’ll go ahead and state the obvious: LOVE that she’s wearing flip flops. I feel so much beter when I get to a wedding and almost as soon as possible take the expensive heels I swore to my husband I would wear so often and are so comfortable, and put on some glorious flip flops.

  8. Katharine

    This looks less like a circus and more like Julyberfest to me. Though that doesn’t make any sense, either. Prosit!

  9. Gigi

    I have a soft spot for Steph. I mean, she was in the car with Grace as it went over the hill! Ay! Ugly gossips said she was actually driving and killed her mom. Tragic and then some.

    Even though she’s overtanned and looks like a beer wench here, she works her tail off for AIDS groups and seems to have managed to raise some pretty normal kids.

  10. Sajorina

    Heather, you’re back… Hi, honey! Well, I wasn’t a fan of this outfit and then I got to the sandals! Let’s just say I had to try very hard not throw up, so I’m never looking at that picture again! EVER! FUG!!!!!!!!!!

    • Heather

      What do you mean? Her sandals are cute – I own a similar pair – and her pedi is flawless (which mine is NOT).

      • Heather

        I am not into thong sandals of any stripe, so on that very personal level I agree with you Sajorina… but I also just think they’re a super strange choice with this outfit. Then again, what would a NON-strange choice have been…

      • Ms. A.

        I was also about to applaud her pedicure.

      • fever

        Look at the close up. Her pedi – definitely NOT flawless. There is polish all over the skin. She did a rush job herself at home before she went out. I know – I do it all the time.

  11. Dazie

    She has a tattoo! She’s royalty and not wearing hose and beige hooves!

    Rock on, Monaco. Rock on.

    • themis

      This. And, she’s at a theme event for her own charity where she’s raised a kajillion dollars for AIDS research. She could show up in Lady Gaga’s meat dress and I would still give her a standing O. There’s bad fashion and then there’s philanthropy; this is the former, and I think it ought to get a pass from ridicule.

  12. ChristieLea

    The look on her face suggests she never got the memo that the “Pirates and Wenches” theme for the evening was cancelled.

  13. Wordphreak

    Princess Stef has been thru some STUFF. I’m willing to cut her some slack.

  14. Marie

    While time, too much tanning, and likely too much smoking have not been kind to her face, she still has legs to die for. If she were wearing a different top, we’d likely be discussing how much she’s working a skirt that would look terrible on almost anyone else.

  15. Jo

    I’ll give her a pass. It might be Monaco traditional garb!

  16. AM

    Good legs and nice broad shoulders. But, despite her princess upbringing and the refined Princess Grace, she always looks like she’s a sit-com character from My Name is Earl or some other sort of You Might be a Red-neck. if. . . sort of thing. Like she needs a can of beer and a cigarette hanging from her mouth, yelling at the neighbor’s barking dog or something. Genetics are a funny thing. I’m not saying that’s BAD so much as just some major rebellion.

  17. Loulou

    She was hosting her annual AIDS gala to raise funds for the Maison de Vie in Carpentras, a residence for AIDS victims. They have themed parties a lot, like the Bal de la Rose. Also, she was working on behalf of AIDS before Carla Bruni threw her hat in and stole some of Stephanie’s thunder.

  18. Fifie

    Her skin looks like an old naugahyde chair, which is really a pity because she was very pretty when she was young.

    • Louise

      Yeah, I can’t even focus on the outfit because of that. Sunscreen is everyone’s sweet friend.

  19. Steph

    Random Story Time: I first saw Princess Stephanie’s music video in the Mexico City airport. I asked my mom who that was (I was a kid at the time) and she told me. Since I share the same name, my goal in life was to BE her. I mean a real-life princess with a music video?! I’m kinda glad I didn’t run off to Monaco now, since I would thusly be wearing that.

  20. Lofty Bike

    It was a theme party “Pirates of the caribian” and she is dressed like it. Love her, she has the most terrible taste in men, but seems pretty decent otherwise.

  21. Shiitake

    That’s the ropiest piece of beef jerky I’ve ever seen.

  22. Lily1214

    Sad . . .