Fug or Fab: Scarlett Johansson


fug-or-fab

Scarlett Johansson looks about as bored as I’ve ever seen her.

Seriously, her last couple red carpet events she’s seemed barely there, like she’s flipped a switch and so her body is present but her mind is in Tahiti, or in rigging Blake Lively’s airbag to explode with shaving cream when she opens the door. As for the Rodarte she’s wearing, there’s something groovy and jungly about it, but I’m a little perplexed by the front piece:

That sucker looks like she spilled something down the front of the ACTUAL dress and stapled a piece of¬†similarly¬†themed fabric to her torso to cover it. There is a whole other argument happening in my head about whether those shoes are unforgivable clodhoppers, or whether it actually needs a heavy shoe to anchor it that isn’t also a boring pump, and what shoes I would put there if I had the choice… it’s a really long discussion and it’s not going anywhere, like wandering through a corn maze and realizing you’ve hit the same dead end three times. But mostly, I’m tossing around the dress. I can’t tell if it’s groovy, or a craft project. I need you.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (48):

  1. hb
    0

    unforgivable clodhoppers no question about it

  2. EG
    0

    The length of the skirt with those awful shoes is making her legs look stumpy, the combo is just wrong.

    I do like her makeup though.

    • pidget
      0

      Yup – hate the shoes. Even racehorse-legged women would be challenged by those, and Scarlett is kinda normal in that department. They make her look stumpy, which she isn’t.

      The dress is a jungle-jumble mess, and does her curves no justice. In general, the retro look is so wonderful on her because she’s so womanly, and modernism fights that. I like the idea of the leaves, but that’s it.

    • stella
      0

      She is stumpy.

    • Sarah O
      0

      Exactly.

    • Sharon
      0

      I know what you mean!! She is gorgeous, how ugly must that dress and shoes actually be together for her to look this bad????????

  3. courtney
    0

    Your use of “front piece” made my mind go straight to George-Michael Bluth in the episode of Arrested Development where he had to be Adam in the living painting pageant. A classic. :)

  4. E.Lee
    0

    I made a Poison Ivy costume out of that same weird bright green leaf fabric, only I took the time to sew plastic leaves on my bodice. Rodarte fail.

  5. Evalyn
    0

    Total craft project – the dress looks like it’s make out of quarter yard pieces from a quilting shop, the shoes are Wellington Rubbers with bits cut out.

  6. Lisa
    0

    I actually like the dressed with her hair and makeup, but those are definitely clodhoppers on her feet. (And in other photos I’ve seen, she was actually smiling, which made it all look much, much better.)

  7. Heather S.
    0

    I agree with spilled on the front of the dress and tacked on a napkin or something. I think that style of shoe is unforgivably ugly, so I may be biased. I think heeled sandals with light green straps or something MUCH LIGHTER would have been better. Not pumps and certainly not those horrible things.

  8. glee
    0

    The dress is well fitted, not making a mockery of her well-endowed chest (though I think it’s smaller anyway since ScarJo lost some weight), and makes me very happy for some reason. The shoes actually show how lovely and delicate her ankles are.

    Win for ScarJo and Rodarte.

  9. filmcricket
    0

    Like the dress, LOATHE the shoes, think the hair and make-up need a do-over.

  10. Tar Heel Gal
    0

    I would never claim to be a botanical expert, but based on this, I really don’t think ivy and bamboo are friends. Agree with the placemat and napkins velcroed to her chestal region idea. Sheesh, looking at those shoes make my feet sweat!!

  11. Willa W
    0

    I’m sure that Scarlett is a lovely girl. The story behind this odd, unflattering ensemble must be that her craft-loving, Vivienne Westwood-inspired goth/emo niece/nephew asked if she/he could style Scarlett for the red carpet. The look on her face is one of “I’m doing this for love but I’m not enjoying it” kinda like when parents are wearing “jewellery” made from plastic beads by their 6-year-old.

  12. Dazie
    0

    Blech. The shoes, the dress, the actress. Blech.

  13. Dani
    0

    I’m sort of anti-Scarlett… I don’t really know why. I don’t find her particularly charming, I guess.

    This dress looks like it was made from the leftover wallpaper from a run-down Rainforest Cafe.

  14. Jo
    0

    Not bad but not great.

  15. Tamburlaine
    0

    I like the dress, I think, though I’m not altogether sure about the trim on the skirt. And I like that dark red lipstick on her, too. I loathe the shoes.

  16. swifty
    0

    The dress looks like the result of a mid-western fabric store hosting a plant-themed Project Runway-esque competition.

  17. Scouse Helen
    0

    She looks like a sulky sixth former forced to wear a frock to her grandma’s birthday party instead of jeans and a band T shirt. Like she went to a charity shop and bought the first dress she saw. Shame on you, ScarJo’s stylist!

    And yes, the shoes are appalling.

  18. Anna Svahn
    0

    My first thought was, she looks so bored. She is standing like a tree stump and not working it at all. And this outfit needs to be worked.

  19. Aparatchick
    0

    Hideous shoes. Cutting her legs off at the ankles is really stumpifying her.

  20. Helen
    0

    Cute dress, but too teen-ish for her. I would love it on someone about 17-18.

    The shoes would be fine with pants. Not for any dress. Seeing a lot of that this season!

  21. joanne
    0

    I’m guessing that ScarJo is thinking – Sh*t I lost all that freakin’ weight to where this piece of cr*p….. pass the hamburgers….

  22. 'Mela
    0

    In the words of the madam at the Harlem brothel, where Diana Ross (playing Billie Holliday) just quit:

    “If you don’t want this job, some body else sho do!”

  23. Joan
    0

    The dress is a total fail and the only way those shoes could be heavier, would be if they were actual cement shoes – she’s doubling down on the fail!

  24. Ladyblahblah
    0

    Is she taking red carpet lessons from 2008 Kristen Stewart?

  25. Sajorina
    0

    I think it’s groovy, but her attitude is not selling it… If she were smiling and standing straight, she’d look GREAT! Red painted nails would also help!

  26. Tracey
    0

    I don’t really care about the dress one way or the other, but her shoes are atrocious, her unhappy face doesn’t help… and unlike many here, I think her lipstick is way too dark for her complexion. It’s giving me a goth vibe with that attitude face… maybe she’s trying to be edgy?

  27. Bottle Ginger
    0

    I adore pale green and black prints, but this isn’t working.

    If she’d worn shoes that flattered her legs, and done something to define her tiny waist, and had better posture, and smiled, and stood against a background tha wasn’t black, and used a lipstick that belongs on a human rather than a vampire… it would look better. Maybe not a total win, but it’d be out of Fug territory.

  28. Lsamsa
    0

    Incredibly unflattering in every respect….but, I do think I hate the shoes more.

  29. Emma
    0

    Isn’t the premiere of a Hitchcock biopic in which you star as Janet Leigh the ideal opportunity to go for womanly old Hollywood glamour? Why is she dressed like a 16 year-old?

  30. Esme
    0

    This is LUDICROUS! It looks like something a kid would make with construction paper and markers. And she should throw those shoes in the trash–they make her legs look like tree stumps. The fact that THIS is a red-carpet look is mind-boggling.

  31. ML
    0

    Anyone else loving the unintentional hilarity of Helen Mirren smirking over Scarlett’s shoulder from the film poster in Photo #2 as if to further mock the strumpet stirrups?

    • Helen
      0

      Haha, I hadn’t noticed, that IS very funny!

      So’s “strumpet stirrups.” Good one.

  32. Kellilee
    0

    Really, I think that she should be wearing some booties. I hate a huge clodhopper open toe shoe.
    The dress is just butt ugly.

  33. Mel
    0

    I could be confused, but didn’t someone wear a ballgown version of this on the awards circuit earlier this year? or something similar? I saw a waist-up pic of this on another site, found it familiar, then was flabbergasted when i scrolled down here to see it was short. Regardless, let this be a lesson that mixing patterns is fine, but mixing foliage is not.

  34. marghan
    0

    I hate those shoes.

    Every time one of these lovely women goes out in a fabulous little dress with these horrible, horrible converted rainboots-looking shoes, I want to cry.

    And the horror has spilled over to our young ladies, because Homecoming and Prom pictures are filled with the same fabulous little dresses and horrible, horrible shoes.

    If you MUST wear them, pair them with jeans. These are not for dresses. Ever.

  35. Vandalfan
    0

    I think the skirt material would make lovely living room drapes, or maybe a nice bedroom canopy and duvet cover.

  36. Lily1214
    0

    Actually, she looks pretty. Ditch the shoes.

  37. Mukel
    0

    It’s a scroll-down fug. The bodice is cute, she herself looks good… then, whoa, the skirt and the shoes.

  38. 7Kellx
    0

    I feel like this is too young for her and too casual for her premiere. I actually like the print on the front panel better than the rest of the dress. I wish they’d taken that and run with it in a better way. Love her shoes.

  39. fritanga
    0

    The runway version had a long sleeved silver-blue and black patterned turtleneck with the dress (I know; strange, but it worked), but Scarlett chose to wear it as a short strapless prom dress, to its detriment. And of course the shoes she’s wearing are horrid (the runway shoes were platform beige and black striped sandals, which looked OK).

    Those Mulleavy sisters are wacky, but I love ‘em.

  40. Heidi
    0

    I know this is an unpopular opinion, but seriously: she needs some sheer hose. Or at the very least a non-toxic spray tan. Her legs…do not look as awesome as they should. And they could look awesome with a half-decent pair of hose.