Fug or Fab: Brooklyn Decker


fug-or-fab

As usual, I’m torn.

On the one hand, it’s the world’s cutest, most glam tennis dress. On the other, she’s not currently playing tennis.

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And then, from the video game awards, we have this:

I like the concept of yellow shoes with a black dress (and hey, not for nothing, she’s at an event sponsored by Kraft Mac & Cheese, and although this post is decidedly NOT, those shoes fully make me want some), but man, for me the nude tutu totally kills that mojo (and thus I am not going to get any mac and cheese, which is such a sad ending to this story). I wish this were a regular hem, and then either a straight mini or a cocktail-length pencil-cut. I totally get why you’d go flirty at this event; I’m just not sure this dress does what she wants it to do. Kind of like mac and cheese, when I make it in the microwave and such a delicious idea goes wonky when the cheese sauce comes out clumpy in places and runny in others and doesn’t quite cover all the noodles, and boy, this post turned into a social tragedy on an epic scale.

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[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (47):

  1. Chrissy Cunningham
    0

    the dress should have been “edgier” to pull of the yellow shoes. it’s entirely too feminine for the whole look to work well

  2. Jamie
    0

    The ruffles on the sleeves kill that first dress for me. It reminds me of that frumpy dress Jamie Lee Curtis was wearing in True Lies before she ripped off all the chiffon ruffles and magically transformed it into a cute (albeit kind of slutty) LBD. Someone find JLC! This dress needs her assistance!

    I actually like the second dress, just on someone about 10 years younger. I know she’s not old, by any stretch, but she is a grown woman. It’d be super cute on Selena Gomez, a Fanning or Hailee Steinfeld.

  3. Eliza Bennett
    0

    I loooove everything about that second dress. Even the yaller shoes (“yellow” was 10 miles back. That shade is yaller) and the tutu. It’s frilly without going full-on Bradshaw. I would have liked some jewelry.
    That first dress needs to be killed with fire, yelled at by Serena Williams between court changes, and then killed again.

  4. Annie E
    0

    If that first dress didn’t have those awful ruffles, I might actually like it.

    • witjunkie
      0

      Yes, what I was going to put. Scrolling by quickly it looked so cute, but when I stopped and focused, oy.

      • vandalfan
        0

        I’ll third that. “What lunatic put those ruffles on?” I exclaimed. And beige tulle just looks like very dirty curtains. That lining should have been black satin.

  5. TonyG
    0

    If you turn the first dress sideways, it could be Liza Minelli’s yachting flag. :)

    Love the second one though, nude tutu included (love the shape it gives the outer layer of lace) .

  6. Melody
    0

    From the tennis court to the ice skating rink! She needs to pick a sport and stick with it!

    • Anne B
      0

      Jinx! I owe you a Coke :)

    • EileenOh
      0

      Glad someone noticed how old-timey skater-esque the second dress is. Still, the East German judge would only give her an 8.5

  7. Anne B
    0

    If you’re really going to be a contender, at some point you have to choose: tennis or ice skating? Summer or Winter Games?

    Love-thirty. Maybe next year, kid.

  8. PeggyO
    0

    If the underlay were more white this would work. That nude/beige is too brown to work with that color shoe. Points for a cute dress and a good idea, but an execution fail.

  9. Molly
    0

    I’m so confused by the first one… It fits from the hips down, but not from the hips UP. Why would you actively want to do that?

  10. Katie
    0

    The first one looks like the Gmail M! Look at the Gmail icon and then back at the dress, you won’t be able to unsee it.

  11. Karen
    0

    I love the second dress, but I don’t think the shoes were the right choice with it. Maybe black & sparkly would have looked better. Or perhaps red. But not those yellow ones.
    (And Katie, I see the M, too! You’re right. I can’t unsee it.)

    • jean
      0

      Karen I didn’t read your comment before making mine. I’m not dissing your red suggestion! I was just musing. :^)

    • T
      0

      I concur. A different colour shoe would be wonderful – beige and yellow are not complementary colours. Forget “blue and green should never be seen”, it should be “beige and yellow are not mello”… Or something.

  12. jean
    0

    I covet her legs and I want that second dress (and her legs please). I wish the yellow shoes were a purple however. I think purple might have worked for a splash of color. Red is too obvious. But the yellow with that neutral beige doesn’t work for me. Not sure why. Other Fug Nation people have better color sense than me.

    • ChristopherD
      0

      But you are right “jean” it doesn’t work colour-wise.
      I know this might sound boring, but if she had a kick-a$$ pair of black shoes, and some really fun, funky bracelet/bangle-y thing and a cute purse with that slash of hot lipstick it might just come off the ice and work. Even perhaps if the shoes matched the lipstick. (And just maybe the hairstyle from the first outfit, because I really don’t think we are keeping anything else.)

  13. Aria
    0

    Hate the first dress but love the shoes. Love the second dress but hate the shoes. Not sure what score that would add up to.

  14. Katharine
    0

    I think the second dress could work as is with different shoes, but it definitely needs a different, or no, underlayer for the yellow shoes.

    The only thing keeping the first dress from being a Gatsby-on-the-grass-court grand slam is the stupid skirt. If it were longer, and more pleated, with maybe only one ribbon of the translucent stuff, it would be an absolutely delicious retro twenties number. I don’t particularly like the first pair of shoes, though; too laced-up.

  15. Lynne
    0

    Look. I’m happy to nitpick with y’all til the cows come home but can we talk about how she has finally stopped dressing like a 45 year-old? Girl looks like she actually in her 20s. Which she is. Keep it up Brooklyn! Adorable all around.

  16. Rachel
    0

    I LOVE her makeup in the second photo. I think she looks great. I feel like i need to note that because I never notice makeup.

    Clothes? Yellow shoes>dress. Definitely not together.

  17. Kit
    0

    I hate the flapper tennis dress and although some part of me kind of likes the shoes, I’m not sure what they would look good with. Maybe just narrow legged jeans…

    I’m totally digging the second dress although I want to see it tea length (I know you despise that length) and on say, Audrey Hepburn. Without the yellow shoes. (A couple of year ago Loubiton did a really cute yellow shoe with a black lace overlay for which this dress would have been PERFECT. Alas.)

  18. Lina
    0

    I really like the top dress — she’s that rare blonde who can pull off beige without fading into the wall. However, her hair and makeup in that pic look terrible.

    The second one, I like, full-stop. I don’t even mind that it’s a black lace dress because the skirt is so interesting, and the shoes are just plain fun. Hair and makeup are perfect.

  19. drPhilG
    0

    Sorry, dresses aside, the shoes in the first pick are ROCKIN…

  20. JanetP
    0

    Did not realize both pics were the same person. Oops. Love, love the second dress with those adorable shoes. She looks happy and is totally working it. First dress is a little too 1920s flapper-esque for me. She remind me of Charlize Theron in that pic, which is confusing because Charlize Theron doesn’t seem to look like Charlize Theron to me any more.

    And PS: The secret to mac and cheese? Don’t microwave it!

  21. Carol
    0

    The second dress in a cocktail length, even with the yellow shoes, would absolutely work. The first “thing” she is wearing is just indescribable … and NOT in a good way.

  22. Lis
    0

    In any case it is *not* the world’s cutest tennis dress! (This is: http://www.manchestergalleries.org/our-other-venues/platt-hall-gallery-of-costume/the-collection/collection-themes/mcgweb/objects/common/webmedia.php?irn=400649) It’s also not 20s, it’s 80s! It’s not nice! The second look however, is, at least in my humble opinion. -The lipstick matches the shoes.

  23. Emily
    0

    Can we discuss Trader Joe’s white cheddar mac n cheese, and how it is delicious and practically perfect in every way?

  24. witjunkie
    0

    Yes, Kraft needs to send the Microwave Mac n Cheese back to the lab…I tried that stuff once (under protest) and ick. Thankfully the kids agreed and have never asked for it again. I mean, it has to be bad for them to turn their nose up at it.

  25. ceecee
    0

    If the second dress was 3 or 4 inches longer it would take it from skate costume to cocktail dress. I agree about the beige trim- it’s bringing down the mood and ruining the contrast between the black and the yellow.

    I’d actually like the first dress without the gold trim, but then I have an irrational love for a drop-waist.

  26. Karen
    0

    That first dress makes her look like she should be playing tennis in the Roman Colosseum. With a lion. And Russell Crowe.

    I love love love love the second dress, though, I must confess it. I was afraid you were going to fug her for an ice skater, but I still wouldn’t care. She looks ADORABLE.

  27. Lindy
    0

    Those shoes in the first pic going up her ankle like that make her feet look ENORMOUS! Really horrible.

  28. Claire L
    0

    I’m a matchy matchy girl….so I dislike the yellow shoes.

    I think the the problem with BOTH dresses are that for their style they are both just a tad too short. I don’t mind short/short dresses on the girls who can pull it off ( hahah)…. but the really short skirt doesn’t work with the style of either one of these dresses.

  29. Miranda
    0

    I hate that first dress and want to burn it with fire. The only reason it looks good here is that she is transcendently beautiful and is transcending it. Same for the shoes.

    I like the second dress and I love the shoes. The dress would be improved by having the lining go up all the way, and the lace go down all the way. Were that done, I think the dress/shoe combo would be much more harmonious, if not The Ideal.

  30. Rachel
    0

    I think the second dress would work a lot better if the underlayer were white and not beige.

  31. shebrihart
    0

    Overall, both looks are fug to me. But I love her hair in the first outfit (and generally I’m not a fan of her hair), and I need to own those yellow shoes.

  32. Laucie
    0

    When your body is slammin’ enough to be a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, why would you wear a shiny pillow sham with an attached dust ruffle ?

  33. Sajorina
    0

    The first outfit says “gladiator” to me and that style is soooo over that I have to FUG it, even though I like her clutch and her hair looks very pretty! I love the second dress, nude tutu and all, but the shoes ruin it for me… Change them for black pumps and I’d wear it without hesitation!

  34. Franziska
    0

    The first dress looks…. interesting. It’s neither here nor there. The second dress…. mhm, I like the concept of yellow and black but not yellow, black and beige. Red shoes would have looked better.

  35. Hot Sales Blog
    0

    both dresses are very sexy! she has amazing legs…

    http://www.hotsalesblog.com/
    ALREADY 300 POSTS! Under 1 week!

  36. Kat
    0

    Tennis dress needs to lose the ruffles at the bottom – I think it would have been a glorious, straight-cut flapper type dress. Geometric-like.
    Ice-skating outfit – I think i could get behind it if it was just a black lace dress. Again, no ruffles. I LOVE the shoes.

  37. Louise
    0

    Look, since I moved to America I have fallen in love with a LOT of things here. A lot. But also, you have some horrible problems and things that make life unnecessarily bad, sad and depressing.

    And one of THOSE things is the fact that YOU CALL PASTA ‘NOODLES’.

    A sheet of lasagne is NOT “a noodle”!! Macaroni is NOT “noodles”! Get this sorted out and all America’s other problems will follow suit, I swear.

  38. NYCGirl
    0

    The first dress could be unfugged, but it would take a lot of effort.

    The second is pretty cute, even though I’m sick of black lace.

  39. Sandra
    0

    Aw, Heather, I’ll give you my mac’n cheese recipe. It’s made in the microwave, but out of real food instead of that nasty orange gack.