Lord knows I love a redhead in green.

And I almost love this redhead in THIS green, but there’s something about the midsection that’s bugging me. Specifically, if it were me in this dress, I would be frowning and asking Jessica, “Does this make me look pregnant?” And she’d be like, “But you’re not pregnant,” and I’d say, “But nobody knows that, and I don’t want to LOOK pregnant,” and she’d reply, “But people will see that it’s the dress and not you,” and then sensibly she’d tell me to take it off and discard it because I’d either never wear it, or wear it and spend all night obsessing over what people think is happening in my womb. So. This is the dilemma here. I also am not wild about how that seam bisects her chest. Just thought I’d throw that in there. But: green! Such a nice green! So you might as well vote it up:

First, the green:

  • It's so adorable (13%, 1,304 Votes)
  • It's so making her look pregnant (47%, 4,662 Votes)
  • It's not even good ASIDE from the uterine shenanigans (40%, 4,025 Votes)

Total Voters: 9,992

Loading ... Loading ...

Next up: crazy.

This is why mermaids generally aren’t fashion designers. Do you think this can be saved? Would you keep the swelling left side of the bodice, or do you fear it looks like one of her mammaries is having an allergic reaction to something? Do you like the colors, or do you too think they seem like organisms that someone scraped off a sofa in a Naples, Florida, condo lobby and put under a microscope? Do you question the fishing netting and rumpled underskirt, and/or think this would be just fine if it were floor length?

The moral of this story is, I can’t WAIT to see what she’s going to wear for awards season. It could go either way. And I am rooting for both, somehow. Maybe she can split it — a crackfest at the Globes and an awesomepalooza at the Oscars. One can hope.

And the second?

  • Fug (54%, 2,577 Votes)
  • Fab (16%, 788 Votes)
  • Fixable (30%, 1,435 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,800

Loading ... Loading ...