Fug Madness, Round Two, Part Two: Madonna Bracket


Oh, Katy Perry. At least you’re never boring. And we know what you’d look like if you took up ice dancing:

Or took a gig as a Victoria’s Secret Too-Tight Floral Bustier Spokesperson:

(The Too-Tight Floral Bustier is one of their lines, right? Like the Very Sexy Bra Whatever, and the Naughty Little Secret Undie Something or others.)

In fact, I think this is likewise from Victoria’s Secret:

It’s the mini-dress version of that bra they sell at Christmas for eighty-million dollars, married to Britney’s “Toxic” bodysuit. (Also, now you have “Toxic” in your head. YOU’RE WELCOME.)

If Katy Perry is generally a little skimpy and a lot sparkly, Chloe Sevigny, on the other hand, is usually just sort of confusing. Confusing, with enviable legs:

I think that’s a coat? It’s kind of like the coat version of a black and white cookie, but the white section has been left out on your desk for three days and gathered a fine coating of dust, not that that’s ever happened to me.

ONE of these girls is in costume. It’s not the one you’d think.

This skirt is likewise perplexing. From afar, I kind of like it. From aclose, it looks like it’s a blazer that’s been repurposed into a skirt, which is…responsible upcycling? Sure. Let’s go with that.

Don’t forget to check out their archives before you vote! AND SPEAKING OF VOTING:

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At least she’s happy:


Horrifying snow bunny leggings out of the way, let’s take a brief jaunt down the street I call Go Up a Size Lane:



A size.

J Simp’s competitor in this round seems to have her sizing okay, but does seem to have forgotten something. Whatever could it be?

Oh, right, her PANTS! Please? Who hasn’t gone outside in only thigh-highs and Pilgrim boots? GUILTY! Am I….never mind.

Here, I’m convinced that her lace-trimmed bike shorts paired with a nylon, ditzy-print dress that I myself had in the 8th grade can be construed as nothing less than an homage to the Beverly Hills 90210 of yore, and thus is really an excellent example of The Kids Today really respecting our shared history.

This, on the other hand, is an example of The Kids Today being Not All Right.

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Comments (59):

  1. clatie

    Katy Perry and Jessica Simpson share a knack for making everything they put on look as cheap as the clearance rack at Forever 21. It’s really the exact opposite of good dressing – they make good clothes BECOME bad. Which is why I voted for both of them.

  2. Damian

    Holy crap! The Sev and Katy are neck and neck currently. Awesome. I want to see Sev go forward for no particular reason. Katy is a formidable, sparkly opponent.

    J Simp v Shenae was so difficult!!!! They are both horrifying, but my guess is that Jessica’s relative star power will pull her through.

  3. Rosanne

    To me, Chloe is the epitome of what Fug is.

    And poor J Simp just never seems to get it right.

  4. Alice

    How is Katy winning against the Sev??? Sure, Katy is short and sparkly, but at least I can understand her outfits. I get that it’s her persona as Katy Perry (rather than Katy Hudson). the Sev just completely confuses me. Every time I see her, all I can think is ‘WTF ARE YOU WEARING”

  5. jen310

    Jessica FTW, today, tomorrow, and probably forever. She could do and should do so much better. I just don’t quite understand you, Jess. Shenae, girl, you need some real help but at least your fugly clothes fit.
    The Sev has to win. I love the Sev and her cracked-out couture. Katy is working overtime trying to be sexy and play up her big boobs. We get it, Katy, you’re proud of the “girls”. Now put them away. Also, although I would never and could never wear Katy’s outfits, some are not that fugly. Some, in fact, are kinda (Lord help me) cute? I think I officially need to stop for the day because I think its affecting my brain.

  6. Beth

    Katy Perry is always in costume, which is why I won’t vote for her over Seviny. On the other hand, Lady Gaga and Amber Rose both appear to always be playing characters/in costume, so I figure they can fairly be judged against each other and I therefore voted for Lady Gaga. Real Life Fug wins over Costume Fug generally, but I think somewhere in the back of my head there’s a mathematical formula by which if Costume Fug is severe enough it outweighs RLF. Something like CF is normally 1/3 RLF, but if you’re comparing someone with CF of 24 (like Gaga) to someone with RLF of, say, 6 (Jessica Simpson?), Gaga wins but only by a margin of 8:6. I don’t have the details yet…

  7. Chrissy Cunningham

    ok i’m doing the comment to vote thing… but it may just be my machine

  8. Libby

    Chloe gets my vote for the consistent, yet inventive strangeness of her attire.
    While Katy has but one theme: Look! At! My! Rack!

  9. Elin

    I’m beginning to wonder if these pop-tarts’ (Perry, Gaga, Lewis, etc) tresses on the red carpet has more to do with their difficulties shedding their stage personas IRL… but it’s more likely just terrible marketing tactics to show how “genuine” they are. So I can’t vote for them, it’s too boring and cynical, unlike [my idea of] real fugs where someone tries really hard and fails utterly.

  10. Willow

    I genuinely think The Sev is rather fabulous and really quite like her style, I just wish her oponnent wasn’t Katy Perry because I just can’t bring myself to vote for that utter tosspot in anything.

  11. Cecily

    This is the toughest one yet. Katy Perry steers me into the territory of costume vs. content again, I went with Sefugny because she earnestly thinks she’s still the “it” girl of fashion because of her “inventiveness” but her looks so often fail (visible back bra strap with blue dress, anyone?) She does have great legs, yes, but must she wear such short skirts all the time?)…*wagging my cane*

    And Jessica vs. Shenae was an eye-searing headbanger, but I went with Jessica because girlfriend needs to figure out her proportions and proportion them accordingly.

  12. Willow

    Jessica Vs. Shenae came down to whether the Thigh High Socks or The Wonky Boobs Depressed Maid Outfit offended me more. I decided on Jessica’s Wonky Boobs Depressed Maid Outfit. It goes against everything I believe in and is only second to Meester’s Lace Jumpsuit.

  13. Kristen from MA

    I hate to give her the attention, because she’s SUCH a fame whore, but I had to vote for Katy Perry. Granted, Chloe is wacktastic, but she is, at least, talented. Katy Perry is less famous for her voice then for her – other assets, ahem – and as a music lover, that just makes me angry. (Really, if your so-called music career depends on your wearing low-cut latex dresses, you really aren’t a SINGER.)

  14. Lucy

    I’ve never seen Katy Perry out of costume. That’s like trying to judge a police officer or a clown – shiny wackadoodle is her uniform. In fact the only time I’ve seen her FACE out of uniform was that unfortunate snap the Rustinator Tweeted of her in bed with that ‘not without my make-up, Rusty, please’ expression. Whereas the Sev probably dresses like that all the time, complete with her ‘you won’t understand this outfit, you’re not fashion’ smirk . So she gets my Fug vote.

  15. amanda

    hey guys,

    there is too much actual cuteness in this bracket. Can we add in a fugly person? I would totally wear all of these outfits, except, of course, jessica simpson’s, but I kind of have her hair these days which makes me feel bad for voting for her.

  16. ortenzia

    For the 150th time — how does JSimp own a fashion line that has rather decent stuff and still not be able to dress herself? Or at least, dress herself so that she doesn’t look 30 pounds heavier than she is? I do not get this. And it makes me angry.

  17. ortenzia

    Chloe Sevigny gets the lifetime pass for me because of my love for the polka dot dress she wore that one time. I’m going to get married in it. I love it. Go polka dot dress!!

  18. Christian

    GO CHLOE!!!

  19. Allie

    I was so sure the answer to “What did Shenae forget to put on?” was “A bra.” I was too distracted by THAT mess to even realize she wasn’t wearing pants!

  20. Jessica

    @Allie HAH!

  21. Donna

    My brain tells me I should vote for JSimp, but my heart just can’t. It has a special place for people like her whose bodies are changing and are still figuring it out. (Although I know she wasn’t that great before she gained weight. Again heart wins.) Shenae looks like she’s trying every trend recommendation from Urban Outfitters.

  22. SmallFry

    The only reason I felt I HAD to vote for Shenae is that as a fresh young face in the scene, she probably has designers throwing fabulous clothes at her everyday and this is the best she can come up with. #icant

  23. Jennifer

    HOW can The Sev be losing? She IS Fug.

  24. SKS

    My votes generally go towards whoever is the “HOT MESS” as opposed to just a Mess. Hence my votes for Katy and Shenae (although she can also become just a mess).

  25. roser

    Picked the Sev because I think she thinks she looks really awesome all the time, whereas Katy clearly (I think) gets the joke. And poor J. Simp — the boob crusher tipped it for me. Why go by yourself a rack like that if you’re not gonna get clothes that fit it?

  26. marcia

    I would cut somebody to have legs like Chloe Sev’s. Of course, the real answer would be to work out, but as that is NOT going to happen, I will just have to resort to violence.

  27. InfamousQBert

    where is team Sev? i secretly actually like katy perry’s outfits (even if her songs make me cringe), but what is UP with chloe? i know she’s all “alternative” and “funky”, but for real! she needs to STOP with the clothing version of word salad!

    and i’m voting for JSimp. girlfriend needs an intervention, whereas la grimes seems to be just playing around with her young figure and Forever 21 credit card. JSimp is 30 now and needs to figure it out.

  28. vandalfan

    Katy seems so darn cheerful, happy to be what she is. And she has some killer shoes. Chloe, on the other hand, has no presence, droopy, stringy hair, just plain bad taste, and her shoes don’t fit, therefore less to like = more to Fug. For me, JSimp has this thing in the bag- a too-small bag that she could be talked into wearing. The other lil’ gal is a cipher.

  29. Krusticle

    Gaaah! The battle between Katy and the Sev is the hardest judgement call yet! To be honest, I kinda like Katy’s over-the-top business most of the time. On the other hand, I somtimes like Sev’s looks, too (even the WTF stuff). So neither are fug enough to win the Madness proper. (Who are we kidding, Nicki Minaj has a lock-down on that crown, edging out Gaga.) Eh, toss a coin, this round goes to Katy. And J. Simp’s total lack of mirrors automatically puts her over Shenae.

  30. Michelle

    I think that Katy, while outrageous, at least seems to be in on the joke, whereas The Sev takes herself so damn seriously. This, to my mind, is a more inherent fug.

  31. girlnone

    I don’t hate Katy. Which is not to say that I LIKE her, but I really like the theatrical, over-the-top stuff that The Blonds make for her.

    J-Simp on the other hand is just kind of sad. She’s trying so hard to be pretty and sexy and fun, and usually just manages middle-aged and desperate. Which is crazy, because she’s my age.

  32. kamo

    I placed my votes based on the “OH HONEY NO” quotient, approximately: [fugness of outfit] * [perceived obliviousness of fugee towards said fugness] / [coefficient of WTF].

    Based on this, Chloe and Jessica reign supreme. Most of the pop stars (Katy, Gaga, etc.) *GET IT*. They comprehend their fug, it’s part of the deal. I find the (un)self-awareness factor to be a key component (which is why I am rooting for Paz to take the whole thing.)

  33. Anne B

    At last. The “Absence of Real World Experience” round.

    Re Shenae: About six years ago, I knew a woman who lost her job because another woman in a meeting could see the tops of Woman One’s thigh-highs under her skirt while she was sitting down. LOST HER JOB. This happened.

    Shenae, FUG. Yeah, never mind what happens to women in the real world. That’s, like, about people with jobs! Grown-ups! LOL, amirite?

    You know, I suddenly realized what I like about The Sev. She **makes her own looks**. They may be cracked out but they’re hers. Another thing she seems to have has that’s hers: Friends. I wonder if anyone could say the same about Katy Perry.

    Fug, K-Per. It really is always all about you. And yeah, whatever you happen to be wearing at the moment.

    (I am wearing the Very Sexy Wig in Purple Passion by Victoria’s Secret, as I write this)

  34. Emily

    Oh, Jessica. Why?

  35. O

    First leggings and now stockings? Apparently, this “pants” of which you speak is a complicated concept for large swaths of the show-biz population. If it looks like a sale item at Frederick’s of Hollywood, it is not pants. Cover your bums, people.
    (See also “Shirts Are Not Dresses”)

  36. Lara

    Katy, like Lady Gaga, simply takes her stage persona onto the red carpet.
    They play characters, and therefore cannot embody the true meaning of fun any more than an actress could be fugged for a piece she wears in a film.
    However, Chloe has been hailed and lauded as a fashion icon for the better part of a decade. It is almost as if the fashion industry has been collectively brainwashed into hyping her fug. She cannot dress — her clothes are both objectively ugly and seriously ill-fitting and unflattering — and thinks she can. That, to me, is definition of fug.

  37. eee

    I couldn’t vote for Jessica. I just feel too sorry for her. :(

  38. emster

    Shenae Grimes – who would have thought. No one will read this until after voting, but she’s worth a trip to the archives. Booty shorts and velvet duster? Holy crap. J Simp makes some seriously bad choices, but I think Grimes actually outdoes her with bad taste. I think Jessica has a fun-house mirror that makes her think clothes look better than they do. Grimes is just nuts.

  39. Sajorina

    This was a question of who is deliberately FUG vs who is naturally FUG and who is trying, but failing FUG vs who is cluelessly FUG; and which of them is worse! So, I went with naturally FUG and voted for Chloe Sevigny! Plus, went with cluelessly FUG and voted for Shenae Grimes!

  40. yvetterene

    In the last pic, Shenae has on sturrip leggings which she is not even wearing correctly. In the first pic she has on thigh highs as pants. Jessica may need to go up a size, but Shenae is just butchering everything! Shenae for the win (although she’s losing)!

  41. Sajorina

    I just LOVE @vandalfan’s line: “less to like = more to Fug”! Love it!

  42. Tara

    I chose Shanea Whatever Her Name Is because although Jess looks TERRIBLE, let’s face it – she’s hopelessy clinging to her former body shape and size. Her clothes aren’t ALL bad. But Sheneanayanay? CRAZY TOWN.

  43. pam

    I voted for Jessica because she fancies herself a designer and once said she knew how to dress any body type. Perhaps if she wins (?) here she will realize that she might need a stylist after all. Also, she is too damn rich to look so damn bad all the time.

    P.S….go kiss and make up with Ken Paves. Your hair has not looked good since he dumped you.

  44. Gabby

    Are Chloe’s shoes 26 sizes too big in that first photo?

  45. Fuh Ugh

    Scrolling down from sparkly blue-haired Katy to Chloe as a post-modern nun in that black bat winged thing sealed it for me. Katy Perry = shiny happy people! C’mon – total sense of humor. For fug’s sake, she is MARRIED to Russell Brand!

    Chloe on the other hand … reminds me of the Soviet gulag monster that haunted a cold-war childhood. Grim + Gray = Fug!

  46. CJ

    From the earlier posts on this website, Katy Perry looked like the worst dressed girl at the mall, but I have to admit that once she took it up a notch to full-fledged cheesecake-y sparkly stage costumes seemingly all the time, I rather enjoy her. And she seems to ENJOY the delicious over-the-top quality of her own wares. Can you fug them if THEY delight in their own fugatude? Chloe S., on the other hand, seems to take herself waaaaay too seriously. She dresses horribly, but has that look on her face all the time like she thinks it’s all amazing. So it is Chloe I must fug.

  47. atz

    Jessica Simpson really takes Fug to the next level. She is truly the high sultan of mess. What makes her Fug so special is that she is often – this – close. Her Fug is so unnecessary.

    I am hoping that she faces Rihanna in the final 2. My favorite kind of Fug is the unnecessary and oblivious kind, where people who could look good, don’t, but really seem to think that they do. Momsen and Cyrus are also high (low?) achievers, but of a slightly different type.

  48. jenny

    I’m with Sajorina. I’m pleasantly surprised by Grimes’s full oeuvre, which is infinitely more bizarre and fug than I had realized.

  49. CranAppleSnapple

    God, look how Jessica’s rack is mashed into that fugly black and grey spandex mess! She looks like a sluttly bellhop at the Jetson’s local In n Out Astro Burger. She needs jet skates. And a space hat.

  50. Blue Buddha

    The only reason I voted in favor or Katy Perry is because of the horrible boob-spreading purple number she wore to the perfume intro. I can handle the costumes and even the cutesy stuff and blue hair. But that was One. Bad. Dress.

  51. moja31

    1)The Sev- yes katy sports a lot of fugly, but it’s mostly a costume; whereas that’s chloe’s everyday wardrobe.

    2) Jessica Simpson- i can’t recall ever seeing a picture of her that didn’t make me think WTF?

  52. Jo


  53. scotiviator

    Katy Perry I can forgive, if only because I’m from New Orleans and a lot of that stuff makes great Mardi Gras costume fodder. Sevigny? I never forgive. It’s not just the hideous aesthetic, reminiscent of one of those dear unfortunates who thinks she knows how to put stuff together from the thrift store and tragically doesn’t. It’s not even that she’s taken out a patent on the false-modesty photo pose. It’s that trademark Sevigny smirk. She could be wearing the most awesome, badass ensemble in the universe and her facial expression alone would still render it pretentious and inane. Sevigny is eternally one of those chicks who, if she wasn’t famous, would be a clear warning that your neighborhood coffee shop is about to be taken over by insufferable hipsters, as she slouches at a prominent table simultaneously reading something “deep” and texting her parents for another disbursement from the trust fund.

    I mean Jessica Simpson? Sure, she looks like she a) desperately wants to replace Kathie Lee as the spokeslady for Carnival Cruise lines; b) is just about to try out for the lead role in “The 700 Club: The Movie”; and c) hired the Jetson’s maid Rosie as her stylist, but at least she’s doesn’t insult us with that whole phony “I can’t help it; everyone just thinks I’m so aMEHzing” BS the way Sevigny does.

  54. Amanda

    Jessica Simpson is SUCH a great fugger… She’s not in that Katy/Nicki/Gaga camp that wears things just to be crazy… She is just a mess. I hope she and Miley go really far.

    Voted for Chloe too. She’s a legend.

  55. Sajorina

    @scotiviator: I’m laughing out loud with your comments!!!

  56. amanda b

    Come on!!!! Shenae Grimes style is WAAAAAAAY fugglier then Jessica Simpsons!!! COME ON!

  57. Ang

    Why why why is everyone voting for Katie Perry? She’s always in dress-up like a little girl, and is ignored as such. Sevigny dresses like she wants my fist in her face.

  58. Brandy

    Good morning America, I’m Chloe Sevigney…it has recently come to my attenshun that I love dressing like coffee house dessert. Week old black and white cookies are the new Angolian jerkin chic.

  59. Juliette Nuccio

    I would never wear most of Katy Perry’s outfits but I think they go perfect with who she is.


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