Fug Madness 2013: The Printable Bracket


All righty, we’ve unveiled the brackets; now it’s time to print and prognosticate. Here is a JPEG:

And here is a PDF version: Fug Madness 2013 Bracket

Couple reminders: An outfit doesn’t have to have been featured on the site to be eligible, as long as it was worn during the time period, which is Oscars to Oscars — so, everything after the 2012 Oscars, and including this year’s. And a person is only eligible for what THEY wore, not what they contributed to on other people (Stella McCartney). It’s imperative to the future safety of the universe that the rules be followed with slavish devotion. Any slip-ups, and Justin Bieber may be our next president.

To answer a few common questions: The brackets are just names, not themes; people are assigned a seeding number based on our opinion of their Year in Fug, and then randomly sorted into one of the four quadrants. Because the fate of the Earth hinges on us being so exacting, we use a deeply scientific method of How Famous Are You + How Bad Were Your Clothes + How Often Did You Go Outside This Year + Did You Come On Strong Late + That One Outfit Made Us So Angry + Yes, Emma Stone, We Love You, But Let’s Be Clear-Eyed About How Bad Some Of Your Outfits Were + We Don’t Care If You’re Performing Or A Kook-Snob Or What + Maybe You Just Rub Us The Wrong Way. We try to mirror the Major Conference/Mid-Major setup of the actual NCAA Tournament, where it’s rare (but not impossible) that a team that isn’t a big name gets a top seed, and you can win a lower-tier conference and still only come away with a twelve seed because you’re just not a relative powerhouse. There are exceptions, and as the years go on, it becomes even less scienfitic and more instinctual. We do our best to please but we not a couple of Mary Poppinses and thus will never be practically perfect in every way (although we’re a lot more fun — have you seen that movie lately? For someone who dangles constant shenanigans, she’s such a scoffy, eye-rolly stick-in-the-mud about actually participating in any of them, and is apparently even worse in the books).

Any more questions? Check out FAQ Madness.

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Comments (36):

  1. llism
    0

    I’m predicting Amanda Peet or Zoisa Mamet.

    Let the games begin!

  2. Kat
    +6

    I’m so excited. This is like another Christmas to me.

  3. Amalia
    +14

    I don’t know about President, but I’m definitely calling it for the Biebs. First ever male victor! May the odds be ever in his favor.

    • ChristieLea
      +2

      Now, if he would just make an appearance in one of Effie Trinket’s wigs…imagine!

    • pantsonfire
      +1

      Oh god. I mentally corrected that to “May the odds bieb ever in his fever.” Too much Bieber in the atmosphere these days.

      • One of the Leahs
        0

        Well, that is the kind of “correction” that my iPhone and Kindle like to make. Maybe your mind is really high-tech!

    • natalie
      0

      OhMyGod- YES! Fug Nation- lets make this happen!

      • ML
        0

        I’m so ready. The Coke Zero is chillin’… The chips y salsa are, um, whatever it is that they do… And in honor of Jessica and Heather, sandwiches WILL be noshed with abandon.

    • Moxie Lola Carroll
      +1

      I kinda hate to say it — but I’m feeling confident we’re gonna crown the first male victor in Fug Madness 2013.

      Beiber’s fugliness knows no limit.

    • Tiffany
      0

      I am making 2 brackets. One where I try to predict how others will vote, and one that is MY personal choices.

      Beibs ended up winning the chart based on my personal thoughts…and I think he really deserves to win. He dresses even more fugly on the sidewalk than he does in concert and he is trying to look “good” when he fails. Who could deserve it more?

  4. Corriner
    +2

    Just posted the PDF on my wall at work. Does it look like I’m working hard? (Yes I am, on trying to decide who fugged it up more…)

  5. Jessica
    +3

    I’m calling it now: Julianne Hough as the dark horse in a relatively weak bracket. Every time I saw her this year I made a guttural sound of disgust. It takes a special talent to make a ridiculously good looking young woman appear frumpy, tacky, pathetic, boring, and sparkly all at once.

    • Chris P
      0

      A WEAK bracket?

      Björk is one of the toughest! She has to get past Bieber (possibly – I’ve already covered my opinion on that), Miley-

      Wait, that was Julianne Moore (who is roundly boned). Julianne Hough is still staring down Elle Fanning (doable, but HAVE YOU SEEN FANNING THE SECOND?! DID YOU SEE THOSE SHOES SHE WORE (LINK – NOT SAFE FOR EYESIGHT)?!), Rihanna (which – I disagree with the assessment that John Mayer is the most fug accessory ever, but that’s going to lead to serious unfunny), and Heidi F’in Klum. Who is Heidi F’in Klum, but is also HEIDI F’IN KLUM. It’s not a deep bracket, but it has two of the biggest fuggers this year, and a real dark horse.

  6. mary lou bethune
    0

    Query: Some of the brackets hold a truly tacky gir(Keisha) vs one who seems to not care terribly but gives it a try, or a gal who is a brilliant artist with a fabulous style and wit (Swinton, who else) or one who is beautiful and just misses once in a while (Kerry and Kruger). IN other words:
    Why are the heinous ones with the ones,who seem cool and game but make odd choices ?

    • Jessica
      +3

      Because everyone is placed into their bracket via randomizer. The brackets are not themed.

      • Heather
        0

        What we consider the fun of Fug Madness is matching up people who aren’t necessarily likely to collide any other way. It’s like the basketball tournament in that way. They don’t do it by types of teams; they figure out who belongs at what number seed, and then sort everyone, and the matchups you get are the matchups you get.

  7. Damian
    0

    Kim Kardashian and those pants for the win!

  8. belljar
    +1

    And so it begins… SWINTON ftw.

  9. belljar
    0

    No SWINTON? This is a travesty. Robbed yet again.

  10. Ladyblahblah
    +7

    I’m praying for a Kardashian vs. Bieber final. If not, I’ll be just slightly less disappointed than when I rolled up to the 1993 Final Four in New Orleans unaware that they don’t serve alcohol at NCAA events.

  11. Vandalfan
    0

    And little Gonzaga of Spokane is ranked #1 in the NCAA. I have high hopes for small, dark horses.

  12. CranAppleSnapple
    +1

    I am partial to Fug Madness.
    If I’m allowed to pay a compliment.

  13. Sylvia
    0

    Every year, when I see this bracket, “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” starts playing in my head. This brings me so much joy. Some of my co-workers and I do both the NCAA brackets and Fug Madness. And trust me, Fug Madness is much more intense.

    I think the Biebs is the powerhouse, though pregnant Kim is really and truly awful. She’s had a late surge. I think Zosia is a contender as well. And I kind of want to vote for Jessica White just because last year’s pantsuit was SO bad she should be punished for it for years to come.

    Hurry up March 21. Or rather, come on play in round.

  14. Chris P
    0

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ADRIENNE AND MELODY (AND KIMBERLY WYATT) ARE IN THE FUG NIT (THE NFT?)

    WHERE WILL I GET MY DOSE OF WOMEN WHO WERE IN MID ’00′S GIRL GROUPS THAT INSIST ON DRESSING HORRIFICALLY INAPPROPRIATELY FROM

    Also, you couldn’t have seeded either Lena Dunham or Zosia Mamet as a 7-seed? :( I would have LOVED to see that fug-off.

    Bieber deserves to win it, but I think he’ll go out in the first round. GFY’s a fairly high-profile site (as Heather and Jessica are regular contributors to NY Mag – and Fug Madness itself is becoming an institution), and unless we as Fug Nation band together, I think Christina Ricci is taking him out on the strength of Beliebers alone.

    I’m calling Kim Kardashian – who I’m surprised wasn’t relegated to a play-in this year. Plus, since Yeezy isn’t playing (which – honestly – the man WORE A SKIRT ON STAGE), she’s carrying the fug torch for him, her, and little Khaki Krabgrass (or whatever they’re calling the current occupant of Kim’s uterus). Either that or Anne Hathaway, who – in many regards – is the anti-Bieber (even if she kind of has the haircut he had two years ago).

  15. Sajorina
    0

    I can’t believe Lindsay Lohan didn’t make it, but Ashley Benson did! Doesn’t matter… I’m SO EXCITED!!!

  16. jen310
    0

    YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

  17. ML
    +1

    Y’all. This year’s bracket flippin’ about did me in. But I have Liza Hathaway down for the win. I dunno, man… Seems like it’s just her year. That said, I think Katy Perry shouldn’t even be allowed to compete at an amateur level, seeing as how John Mayer is hands-down the most professionally fug accessory a gal can sport. JMHO, people… JMHO…

  18. Chris P
    0

    And my bracket is filled out.

    The biggest limb I went out on was supposing that Bieber would be knocked out in round 1. I will say that he’s probably a slight underdog/tossup to survive because we might get an onslaught of Beliebers, but if he does, he’s probably taking the championship.

    Also, LiLo is going on to win this. She fugged HARD this year, especially in “Liz & Dick.” (To paraphrase Grant Bowler as Richard Burton, she drank, she fought, she fugicated. And yes, “fugicated” is now a word because it sounds far more polite than “fugged.”) Bieber may have had a Tour de Fug in the UK, but Lindsay’s fug was unrelenting THROUGHOUT THE YEAR. (Also, the Second Amendment outfit, which is nearly as heinous as the saggy diaper/spiked baseball cap outfit.)

  19. N
    0

    I truly believe we could have a Kim K/ Kesh fugdown on our hands. In the event of it’s occurrence, who ACTUALLY WINS THAT?!