Fugger: Zooey Deschanel

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Zooey Deschanel


It’s not even that I don’t LIKE this, necessarily…

… just that, what party did anyone think this WAS? I get that it’s Tommy Hilfiger, and he’s the baron of preppy yachting-chic attire, but the Met Ball is not on a boat. It’s not even boat-adjacent, unless you count everything going on at the piers on the West side of Manhattan, which surely Anna Wintour does not. It’s also not on a beach, at the Hamptons, at someone’s back patio wedding, or in a Land’s End formalwear catalog. So punk theme or not, I’m a little confused about lavender seersucker at the Met Ball, period. I’m ALSO really not sure what I think about ZD without her signature bangs — something that I’m sure she feels a little stuck with now, as most people do with things that inadvertently became their signatures (see also: The Rachel, and possibly Tom Selleck or Victor Newman and their ‘staches) — so let’s just vote on all of it even though I’m vehement in my conclusion that this dress REALLY does not belong here. VEHEMENT, I TELL YOU.

First, dress:

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Then bangs:

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[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug It Up: Zooey Deschanel


This needs a little work, I think:

Primarily because right now, she looks like a student at one of the turn-of-the-century convent schools about which I used to enjoy reading when I was supposed to be doing my math homework. All she needs is a giant bow in her hair and the ability to make herself faint at will to get out of having to sit through Mass.

[Photo: INF]

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Fug the Cover: Zooey Deschanel on InStyle


I love the idea of a bright cover, and all the saturated rainbow colors and whatnot.

But when I look at Zooey, I think two words: Brenda Walsh. From the cut of her hair to the fact that, due to a combo of position and lighting, one side of her face looks suddenly lopsided in a way deeply reminiscent of Ms. Shannen Doherty. She also looks bored, fatigued, and maybe a little smug about how bored and fatigued she is. Like ennui is the new black — or, I guess, the new red. Seriously, the big red dress with the bow, and Zooey’s natural personality, could’ve combined for a really lively cover and instead it’s like they shot her while she was leaning against a counter taking a smoothie break.

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Fehs and Fines of the Paley Fest New Girl Panel


I am still mad at FOX for cancelling Ben and Kate, but I love them for giving me Schmidt. Heather and I watched the New Girl pilot after a night at Fashion Week where we had accidentally had A LOT of wine, and we were all, “this is good! But we might be drunk,” and I am pleased every week since that it’s good even when I am NOT drinking. There’s a pull quote for your bus ads, FOX: “NEW GIRL: FUN EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT DRINKING.”

Let’s raise a glass and look at some outfits.

[Photos: Getty]

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Oscars Fug Carpet: Zooey Deschanel


Various news reports claimed that Zooey here cut her hair, but I’m pretty sure this is just a faux bob — it’s curled up and pinned, right? Regardless, it’s very cute on her. Unlike this dress, which is from the Valentino line I like to call WHY DON’T YOU JUST STAB ME Spring ’13.

[Photos: Getty]

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Golden Globes Mostly Well Played, Sisters Deschanel


I don’t know if you saw this on the telecast, but Zooey had someone actually twirl her ponytail for her when she arrived at the red carpet. I assume it was her stylist or hair technician, but I like to think that she has a dedicated Ponytail Twirler on staff. THAT is some manic pixie dream girl realness.

[Photos: Getty]

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