Fugger: Tyra Banks

Fug the Party: ANTM


It’s sad to me that the beginning of the twentieth cycle of ANTM should have such a sparse red carpet. More people than this showed up, but I hadn’t heard of very many of them. Twenty seasons of a reality show should yield more winners at the party than you can count on one hand, plus lots of former contestants, and guest judges… sigh. Maybe let’s just close our eyes and remember the good times, like when everyone thought Cycle Four Michelle had a flesh-eating disease, or Amanda delivering “moving” “poetry” to describe her almost-blindness, or… Jade doing anything.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs of the CW, CBS And Showtime TCA Party: The Women


As much as it pains me to say it: a lot of people looked surprisingly good at this event. And it’s always fun to look back at these TCA parties six months later, because some of the newbies will have become well and truly familiar, and some of the other newbies will still be as anonymous as they are right now. No pressure, actors!

[Photos: Getty]

 

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Fug or Fab: Tyra Banks


So, apparently Tyra threw a party about celebrating the awesomeness of your flaws, called — wait for it; I’m sure you can’t POSSIBLY imagine where this is going — the Flawsome Ball. Except whenever I say it out loud, like to the empty room and such, it sounds like “The Flossing Ball,” which is a whole other ball of waxed. HA. SEE WHAT I DID THERE? Waxed, like floss? Oh, you guys, it has been A Week. My brain is running on demi-fumes left behind by the fumes with which I’m normally working.

Anyway, perhaps Tyra saw this flawsome flossin’ thing coming…

… because this is definitely a loving homage to dental tape. The thing is, I actually might really LIKE it, and not just because flossing has been so good for my gums (do you hear me, kids?). It’s like a gown version of Pink’s infamous strategically taped bodysuit, but with zero percent chance of visible cameltoe. It’s also got a dash of the Seuss about it, and looks like something that would be growing in Willy Wonka’s candy garden right next to the molten chocolate river, near the whipped-cream toadstools. It makes me smile, and for a party where you’re basically out to cheer up teenagers, it’s the right level of exuberance. I don’t know; I was charmed, even if the hair is a little odd. But I fully recognize that I might be alone on that island, and if that’s true, please could somebody send me some SPF?

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[Photo: Getty]

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Tyraly Played, Tyra


Apparently I should’ve watched GMA today, because Miss Tyra was so animated she was practically a cartoon. There is never a dull moment with Ty Ty Baby, and I say that with love.

[Photos: Splash]

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Amusingly Played, Tyra Banks


Most of this is not amusing — it’s, in fact, completely fine. Miss Tyra looks smashing.

Sometimes Tyra wears crazy stuff, and then sometimes she turns it out so hard in something so simple, and you remember why she was a supermodel. Or, is a supermodel. Does one ever stop being a supermodel, once one has earned it? Must you actively be modeling? Is it like with presidents, where you keep calling them Mr. President even if they’re no longer in office? Such are the intricacies of supermodeling.

I suspect my digression hasn’t stopped you from wondering about her feet, though. So let’s do the close-up:

fierceness afoot

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Well Played, Tyra Banks, At Least From The Neck Down


Damn, Tyra. Sanity looks good on you.

I mean, the hair looks like you just went surfing, and if I pull on your earrings a butler might appear to take my coat and offer me a spritzer. But beyond that, La Banks looks better than she has in a while — it’s kinda romantic, rather than wackadoo. Which makes sense, since she was on a date. Speaking of…

enter the boyfriend

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