I always think of the AMAs as the off-brand Billboards. Is that wrong? Maybe the Billboards are the off-brand AMAs, both of which are off-brand VMAs, which themselves are off-brand Grammys. Great. Glad we cleared up that whole malarkey. Anyway, Taylor Swift opened the show, so she marched onto the red carpet looking very much like the general of an army of anthropomorphized disco balls — and did it super early so she could go take it all off and put on a leotard — and I am pleased about it. I think Taylor has realized that when you do so many fewer red carpets in a year, it’s wise to roll up to these pieces in something that is impossible not to see, and which, handily, might blind you to other people if light reflects off of it a certain way.

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