Fugger: Rihanna

I Want You To Fug


Rihanna wasn’t at the Grammys this year (she wasn’t nominated; was “Stay” already up for stuff, or will it be next year? Because that song is really very hauntingly good, and I hope it’s not about Chris Brown)(WHOOPS, never mind, she won a non-televised Grammy and “Stay” was up but lost, MOVE ALONG), but she did attend a pre-party. And did not seem all that stoked about it.

In fact, nothing about this outfit seems excited to be there except for the shoes. That is a lukewarm combination of things we’ve seen before — like, say, this and this and the jewelry from this, all tossed with some honey mustard dressing and hurled onto her body. It is a leg and a sternum and some cleav with perfunctory fabric knotted around it in a color the likes of which Cameron Diaz would see in a toilet and cry dehydration (yes, her new book talks about excrement of all kinds and how to study it, a process she apparently didn’t apply to the script for Bad Teacher, HEY-OOOOOO). I’m bored, and she looks like she is, too.

I also need to vent about how much I hate that tattoo she has under her boobs. EVERY time I see it, I think for a second that she forgot to wash there, which I guess is the lady equivalent of when you make little boys scrub behind their ears. CLEAN YOUR UNDERS, EVERYONE. Cameron Diaz probably talks about that, too. Why is this post about Cameron Diaz all of a sudden? I do think Cammy D would have my back on disliking this, though. Now let’s all go drink some water. By the rambling, weird tenor of this post, one could infer that I do need some.

[Photo: Splash]

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New Year’s Fugging Eve


Come for the giant coats, stay for the ribbon diaper.

[Photos: Getty, me]

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AMAs Fug and Slightly More Fab: Rihanna


This is that apocalyptic moment where I say to myself, “The strapless bra might not be the worst of it.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Casual Fuggerday: Coats


It’s winter. Bundle up, y’all.

[Photos: Pacific Coast News, Fame/Flynet, WENN]

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Casual Fuggerday: Rihanna


Yes, Rihanna is wearing a baggy leather jumpsuit. She looks like she’s in training to be the coolest fight pilot the Air Force has ever seen:

And yet she seems so happy in it that I can’t really be mad at her for it.

[Photo: INF]

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Casual Fuggerday: Rihanna


Let’s check in on Rihanna’s performing exploits.

This is apparently fresh off the menswear runway. And it is… crazy. I can’t fathom a dude wanting to look like a billboard for something the FDA has probably banned because of strange additives that are only legal in Asia — much less in something that so easily passes as a dress on Rihanna. That she almost makes sense of it is a marvel. Don’t get me wrong, I still find it hideous, but I understand it a lot more on her than, say, Justin Bieber. Then again, when did I ever speak Bieberish? I wonder if that’s a working barcode on her thigh. If we scan her, what will it say? I’m thinking of every immature calculator message I ever tapped out when I was in fourth grade.

Oh, and in case you wondered…

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