Fugger: Paula Patton

Fugs and Fabs of The Independent Spirit Awards, Part II


Jon Hamm’s skeptical look says it all about a lot of these outfits.

[Photos: Getty]

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Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Paula Patton


This dress is not good.

Barring a miracle or a major staffing change in Team Patton, it’s never going to be very good. But at least this one just looks like she stole something that was intended for Katy Perry, rather than something intended for Paris Hilton (or in the case of her Globes dress, a handkerchief Dumbledore had bought for Hagrid). It’s tacky in a Tribute To Siegfried and Roy kind of way, which is not ideal, but also at least fun, as opposed to this:

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Paula Patton


When she came out in this, after we finished clapping and covering our eyes, Jessica turned to me and said, “This is like if the dress Kate Middleton wore to the christening took growth hormones.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Paula Fugton


I’m not sure what it is about Paula here, but somehow she always looks more cheesy than elegant to me.

The word I keep coming to is “unexciting.” The hair is unexciting. The makeup, in trying to be exciting, is unexciting. The dress is unexciting. The studded shoes are mildly exciting but I’m already at a low ebb by the time I get there.  The underliny mini is the kind of tiny and tight thing I expect to see on a waitress at a very tony, pompous South Beach hotel bar, and wrapping it in the netting is more Olympic than anything else. And while I’ll grant that the proximity of the Winter Olympics is super exciting to me, that is not the same feeling as being excited by this outfit. I’m unexcited, and I just can’t hide it. My eyes are both about to roll ’cause I just don’t like it. Oh yeah.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Paula Fugton


I don’t even know if this is, empirically, ALL that awful. It might even be perfectly fine.

But once you get to the heavy tights and the blue shoes and Victoria’s Secret soft restraints tied around her ankles, it stops being an outfit and starts being an obstacle course. In that I can’t get over any of it.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fuggage Claim


Looks like somebody is getting a little tired of all the Miley talk and wants to carve off a piece of the action.

This does look like blurred lines to me — as in, blurring the lines between ice skating, a giant tattoo, squid-ink pasta, and a tar pit bath. And in fact, it’s not so far removed from that famed VMAs performance: messy, naked, scary, something her husband is TOTALLY grooving on, and something I can’t unsee.

[Photo: WENN]

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