Fugger: Jessie J

Fug or Fab: Jessie J

I must begin this post with a caveat and that caveat is that I may very well be totally crazy right now. I’ve been putting in a lot of hours lately and it’s possible that I’ve got some version of Stockholm Syndrome where I just start liking crazy stuff because my subconscious wants someone to come over and drag me away from the computer. (By “someone” you understand, I hope, that I mean “Jon Hamm,” and by “away from the computer,” I mean, “to Hawaii,” right? Just so we’re clear.) ANYWAY, that extremely long caveat aside, is this kind of cute or what?

I mean, it’s CRAZY. She looks like she’s wearing the bearskin rug that generally lives in front of her fireplace, but I feel like it’s crazy in a cute way. It’s crazy in the way of your crazy friend who pulls off stuff that you’d never try, but which you still like to admire (and, in this case, pet) at brunch.

Do you feel me?

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at London Fashion Week

Let’s put a bow on this sucker and move on to Milan.

[Photos Fame/Flynet, WENN, Getty]


BRIT Awards Fug Carpet: Jessie J

We’ve seen Jessie J in catsuits. We saw it for years. We winced and we cringed and we said, “Why is she doing that to her kick-ass body?” And then she stopped wearing them as much, and that felt right, because really, what could she possibly feel she had left to prove? And yet:

When Jessica and I were in England, we spent a day in Oxford, and noticed the local theater was in the waning days of a three-week Cats revival. We both saw it as kids and loved it, because that was before we cared about anything and we just thought, “Wow, Jellicles CAN! And Jellicles DO!!!” And so we joked about going to see it and then coming home and telling everyone that we’d spent our precious hours and pounds seeing Cats, and actually now I kind of regret not doing that because it would have been worth it. And Jessie J may be feeling nostalgic, too, because this is full-on Grizabella the Glamour Cat in her prime, before she put on a heavy coat and moped and sang about the time she knew what happiness was. If this isn’t ripped from a private Andrew Lloyd Webber diary under the heading Grizabella: Let The Memory Live Again, then I don’t know what is.

And no, you’re not hallucinating; her lipstick is FREEZING DEATH:

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Elle Style Awards Fug Carpet: Jessie J

I don’t know how she did it, but Jessie J appears to have matched both her lipstick AND her toenail polish to her dress. That’s commitment.

I also don’t know how she sat in that, walked in that, kept her privates to herself in that, nor consented to that in the first place. The dress is not great, but when you add the idiotic bootaloons to it, you’re in trouble. I don’t know why people interpret the phrase “Elle Style Awards” to mean “Oh, what the Elle, let’s put the ‘why’ in ‘style.’” I suspect the shoes charge by the hour, and may in fact one day become their own Olympic event. She must have a team of people stuffing and lacing and tying at the beginning of the night, and undoing and wriggling and yanking when it’s done. Installation and removal teams are for satellite dishes, not clothes.

[Photo: WENN]


Recent Fugs, Fabs and WTFs of Jessie J

Yes, you should TOTALLY wear a shirt where your nipples are concealed solely by high-fashion whipped cream to meet Prince Charles and Camilla. That being said, before you, dear reader, delve into the recent assorted craziness of Jessie J, I DO have to draw your attention to the time Charles met the Spice Girls. That link goes to a YouTube video of said meeting, and it is….something that must be experienced. Posh is terrifically smile-y and keeps mugging for the camera, Scary asks herself to dinner at the Palace and is wearing a sherbet-colored suit with a bra top, Baby asks where William is not once but twice, and Ginger is dressed like a deranged figure skater mashed up with a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and she is OUT OF CONTROL. She even gooses the Royal bum! Sporty just spends the whole time looking that she wants to tell everyone to get a grip. It’s amazing. So we can at least be grateful that Jessie J didn’t goose anyone. Camilla would NOT HAVE HAD IT.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]


Other Fugs and Fabs from the GQ Event

Right now Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks is like, “Wait, is that me from 2002? No…?”

[Photos: Getty]