I like Jessie J. I don’t know her music that well other than “Bang Bang,” which was considered here primarily an Ariana Grande song, I think? But she has a great voice. It’s always interesting to me which stars really take off elsewhere and don’t quite get off the ground over here. ANYWAY: She’s dating Channing Tatum and that may well be a plenty satisfying piece of America to have conquered. ANYWAY 2.0: She showed up for an appearance on This Morning in the UK wearing a frock that to me feels a whole lot more like This Evening. The beige sandals don’t course-correct it into a daytime outfit; they just make it a nighttime outfit with the wrong shoes. The cut itself kind of feels like a Walk of Shame where half her dress wouldn’t go back on the way it was and she is like, “Eh, screw it, I need a burrito, let’s just go.”

By the way, I’m told some people now use the phrase Stride of Pride rather than Walk of Shame. I appreciate that, and the rhyme. Either way, I hope no one feels ACTUAL SHAME. It’s meant to be evocative of a rumpled next-day Oops I’m Stuck In These Clothes Now shuffle, which can and should be done with heads held high.

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Tags: Jessie J