Fugger: Dakota Johnson

Fug the Cover: Dakota Johnson on Elle

If you want your cover to look like Hayden Panettiere in a dark wig, then just use Hayden Panettiere in a dark wig. We know she’ll do it.

[Photos: Elle]


Fug the Cover: Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan on Entertainment Weekly

I have thoughts. So many thoughts. So many, many thoughts:

1) I am unfamiliar with Jamie Dornan but he’s hot, and because I think this movie is going to be a total shitshow disaster, I feel bad for him.  By the time this thing comes out, people are going to be well over 50 Shades and onto something new, because I feel like 50 Shades is the kind of thing that burns brightly and then burns OUT, because the reasons it’s popular have nothing to do with actual quality and more to do with some weird zeitgeist thing that, for some reason, made everyone decide they really needed a little light bondage in their lives, ideally from a love interest who made the heroine sign a 7-page contract about their sex life. (I’m not making that up; I can’t believe I need to clarify this, but paperwork is rarely sexy, people.) He also already looks like he regrets this. Very, “Wait, you want me to do WHAT with this tie? Shit, I thought Charlie Hunnam was just kidding.” GET OUT NOW, DUDE.

2) Please don’t get me started on a book that involves an interior monologue which says things like, “My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” I literally have second-hand embarrassment for the English language just reading that.

3) I love Dakota Johnson. She was so charming and good in the underrated Ben & Kate and I am pretty sure she just signed up for the Exit to Eden of our generation.

4) The good news is, this cover shot makes her look like a greasy Alexis Bledel, so maybe she can just DISAVOW entirely. Forever. Although Alexis Bledel might not appreciate that much.


Fugs, Fabs, and Fines of the LACMA/Gucci Gala: Everyone Else

When almost everyone is wearing Gucci (many of them from this particular collection), things start to look the same. Lucky, for most of these women, the status quo is pretty great. But for at least one former model, if I may be blunt, shit got real in the battle between satin and mankind.

[Photos: Getty]


Fug and Kate

Dear Dakota Johnson,

We are ALL still sad that Ben and Kate got axed last season — why did it have to die in the same universe that allowed Rules of Engagement to run SEVEN SEASONS? Why? — but this is not the answer:

Whatever this actually is.

[Photo: Getty]


Fugs and Fabs: Tommy Hilfiger Opens An LA Flagship

How did we not have an LA flagship store anyway? I would have bet money there was one on Rodeo or adjacent. It’s like I don’t even know my own city anymore. It will not surprise you to learn, however, that people went FULL PREPSTER at this thing.

[Photos: Getty]


Fugs, Fabs, and Fines of the FOX TCA Party

It’s really hard for me not to joke that some of these ladies are looking….FOXY. God. That was horrible. I am really sorry.

[Photos: Getty]