Fugger: Alicia Keys

Met Ball Fug or Fab Carpet: Alicia Keys


It’s kind of fun to see someone wearing rich brown — doesn’t happen that often, I guess maybe because if you are a celebrity you don’t want OTHER celebrities running up to you and trying to swipe a marshmallow through your skirt because they think you’re the mandatory chocolate fountain.

I’m not REALLY sure if this needed the belt right there under her boobs? Can’t tell if that’s part of the gown or a special addition that made Alicia feel better about adding the brown leather jacket. Which, by the way, has a surprise for you:

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BET Awards Fug Performance: Alicia Keys


See that cute girl with the red lipstick standing behind Alicia? I think her expression says it all:

It says, “that dress is cute, but I hope to God you don’t get too close to the edge of the stage, because we’re all going to be able to see straight up it. Everyone’s happy you’re having a baby, but none of us are so happy that we actually want to act as your OB-GYN.”

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Fug or Fab: Alicia Keys


Why am I even opening this up to discussion?

Girlfriend’s wearing papier mache the likes of which I haven’t seen since that time I had to make that model of a hot air balloon for my elementary school open house in 3rd grade. On the other hand, I bet it’s comfortable to sit down on. And it’s kind of fashion-y and interesting…right? What do I know? This week has been FOREVER.

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Fug or Fab: Alicia Keys


It cracks me up when people pose like this:

[Photo by: Splash]

I do it too, kidding around in the house. It’s totally the ANTM Broken Down Doll pose (a bit less broken down than it ought to be), and it’s best accessorized with a very hungry expression. You also see this often on Renee Zellweger, but in her case it’s the Check Out How Small My Waist Is; I’m Afraid I’m A Bit of a Weirdo pose. I doubt very very strongly that Alicia is that kind of a Weirdo, and ergo, she must be kidding around. However, I am not sure that the red (or, in this case, gray) carpet is the best place for said kidding, if in fact that is what she is doing, because in photos she basically just looks as though she’s been attacked by Jazz Hands she can not control. Also: I don’t think the dress is doing her many favors. The print is cute; the shiny is not. Please weigh in, Fug Nation:

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American Music Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Alicia Keys


I know I’ve seen this dress on someone else before and I have no idea who it was, or where. It might have been Beyonce, and I think she might have looked cute in it. That seems possible, right? (I’m sure I’m wrong and it’s probably actually the opposite of Beyonce. So, like, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.)

Regardless, I think Alicia looks pretty cute, too. It is always such a damn relief when she isn’t wearing a jumpsuit, or pants so tight I worry she’s modeling the “Before” look in a Monistat ad. This color is great on her, and she’s working the cut. (Also, I think I love her clutch.)

HOWEVER.

My feelings about those shoes are mixed, at best. No. I can’t lie. I am not into them. They look like the world’s most expensive dyed-to-match bridesmaid shoes. Anything that coordinated makes my face hurt.
 

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VMAs Fug or Fab Carpet: Alicia Keys


I’m flummoxed.

I SHOULD think this dress is cute. But somehow it’s not working for me on Alicia. Kind of like how I SHOULD like peanut butter and bacon sandwiches, because peanut butter and bacon are magically delicious, but for whatever reason the two just don’t go together for me. Am I just out of sorts? Do I need more sleep? Some champagne? A back rub from Intern George? Or is my vague and hard-to-articulate sense of “meh” well-placed? I need your guidance, Fug Nation.

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