Fug File: Fugs

Vanity Fair Oscar Party Fug Carpet: Rita Ora in Miu Miu


It’s so generous of Rita Ora to wish us all peace.

Personally, if I’d just been ravaged by a JoAnn’s Fabrics employee with a stapler and a glitter gun, I’d be wishing everyone a quick bout of hysterical blindness.

[Photo: Getty]

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Oscars Feh Carpet: Viola Davis in Escada


This is a great color, but this is doing her no favors:

I feel like she kind of phoned this in, and I don’t think I’m the only one. On Oscar night, I noticed on Twitter that Escada was retweeting all kinds of things — mostly, you know, “Viola Davis looks major in Escada!” But they also retweeted someone who’d posted a photo of this frock with the succinct review, “EH.” I’m SURE it was an oversight, but I love the idea that even Escada was like, “We’ve all done better, right? Right.”

[Photo: Getty]

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In Case You Missed It: Yesterday’s Oscars Coverage


There was a LOT happening here yesterday, and we don’t want you to miss any of your favorites. Behold!

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Oscars Finely Played Carpet: Jessica Biel in Chanel Couture


This is both a perfectly fine dress, and — I think — a very understandable statement of, “To all you people who thought I was hiding in our apartment because I am pregnant, I kindly present to you: my bod.”

She’s got a great necklace, some bracelets, and enough lip color that she does not look recently expired, all of which are massive checks in the “yes” column. It might be pulling weirdly in her thigh region, but that’s nothing compared to my real beef: her hair in her face. And they kept doing this terrible camera at the Oscars where the presenters had to turn away from the audience and face downstage left to present their awards, and never did I want to reach through the screen and jam a barrette in her face more than that moment. You have two eyes. USE THEM BOTH. And yet, with only one, she was one of the few people who did not flub her lines, so maybe her right eye IS totally inconsequential and she knows better than I do. Wouldn’t be the first time. BUT IT WILL BE THE LAST. What am I even saying? I’m so tired, you guys. I keep typing “Jerrica Bill” which really should be her next hotel pseudonym.

[Photos: Getty]

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Oscars Mostly Well-Played: Women Wearing Pink


Cue your Pretty in Pink references. Bonus points if they involve John Cryer crashing the afterparties in a jaunty hat, or James Spader suddenly morphing into a punishingly hot sockless jerkwad.

[Photos: Getty]

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Oscars Well Played: Olivia Wilde in Valentino


I literally forgot that I was writing this whilst in the middle of a sentence, but I think that speaks more to my Post Oscars Fog and less to her dress, which I actually think is quite successful:

She did NOT forget to add a bracelet, and you know that allows us to forgive many, many things. But something about this black and white look is appealingly mod, which works on her, and which she ought to do more often. I said in our piece for The Cut that it reminded me of Julia’s black and white vintage Valentino from the year she won, although looking at a shot of that, it more reminds me of how I remember that Valentino. So, Olivia Wilde’s inside my brain now, which is probably going to end in Vampire Diaries-style bloodshed for us all. It’s been nice knowing you.

The back is the best part:

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