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Fug the Show: War and Peace Recap, Part 3


I just love this show. It’s absolutely chockablock with people making terrible romantic/life choices in amazing outfits/homes, during war, which is simply my favorite genre of anything. This week boasted fewer fur turbans than last week’s installment, but DEFINITELY more threats of murder. To catch you up:

ANDREI: Oh, Andrei. Remember how he took off for a year at the spa and Natasha told him she’d wait for him? Well, the stress of an LDR got to her and she let Anatole Kuragin (Helene’s brother/lover) weave a spell of sexual thrall upon her (more or less) and yada yada yada, Natasha and Andrei are broken up and he’s pretty sad about it because he thought he truly knew her soul and also now he has to kill Anatole for being such a depraved rake. Oh, also his father dropped dead, and they had been in a fight (about how mean Papa Bolkonsky always is to Marya, Andrei’s Noble Sister). Oh, also, Napoleon is coming. So he’s got a lot going on. He barely even had time to check on his favorite tree.

PIERRE: Oh Pierre. Poor sweet Pierre feels that his life is useless, despite his becoming a Freemason. He’s mostly depressed because he’s in love with Natasha but is, of course, married to Helene. Who kinda facilitated Natasha’s ruin at the hands of her brother/lover. And who is also pregnant. With someone else’s child. And planning to annul their marriage so she can marry this hot dude who doesn’t seem that into it. Pierre doesn’t know a lot of this yet, however, as he’s hanging around the Battle of Borodino to see if he can be of use, and also to try to talk Andrei into getting back together with Natasha.

NATASHA: OH NATASHA.Where even to begin! I understand that you were lonely and missed Andrei and thought he might be over you, and his father was very mean to you (you could not know that his father might have been losing his mind [right?]), and I understand why you believed that running away with Anatole was a good idea: you really wanted to sleep with him. And you could not have known that WHOOPS Anatole is actually already married to some poor woman in Poland. But an elopement in the olden days was RARELY A GOOD IDEA in terms of One’s Reputation — even a thwarted one, like this — and so of course you are doomed to spend this episode crying, finding religion, staring sadly out the window, and having leeches applied to your arms.

MARYA: Things actually turned around for poor sad noble kind good Marya, because her father who tormented her dropped dead and also they made up before he drew his last, AND Nikolai Rostov rescued her from French troops and, it seems, fell instantly in love with her sweet, noble, kind, good self. Here’s hoping he manages to make this one last. He is, after all, engaged to his dumb cousin Sonya at the moment. (Serious question for people who remember the book better than I do: Is there a reason that Marya didn’t join a religious order, as that seems well suited to her? Other, of course, than “Tolstoy needed her single so he could marry her off for plot reasons,” which I also respect.)

DUMB COUSIN SONYA: Was not dumb this week at all, and, in fact, was the only person to tell Natasha that she needed to GET A GRIP vis a vis Anatole. No one listens to poor dumb cousin Sonya. Her aunt even reads aloud a letter from Nikolai that’s basically like, “I am totally in love with this incredibly kind heiress now!!!” right in front of her.

BORIS: Was hilariously forced to romance (and marry?) Julie Kuragin, who is a total sad sack and whom he wooed with his own (faked) sad sackery; had his ear massaged by Napoleon.

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Fug or Fab: Jenna Dewan-Tatum in Ralph & Russo


I have to give it to her — she, as a human, is flawless.

jenna dewan

I just keep wondering if the dress is a bit overwhelming. After I’ve stared at it for too long to form an opinion, I will close my eyes or look away for a ten count, then come back to it; every time, the first thing that comes into my head is that she looks like a piece of antique furniture.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fubs and Fabs: The Men of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies


In which I realized I had NO IDEA who was playing which character in this adaptation.  I’d like to thank them all for coming out in their suits so we can ogle them.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug Nation’s Worst Dressed of the SAG Awards


If you’re looking to vote for Best Dressed, you can do so here. If you want to weigh in on worst, YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

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Fug Nation’s Best Dressed of the SAG Awards


Let’s start off our Best and Worst with the good news, shall we? As always, we’ve whittled the options down to people we actually think have a chance of winning. It’s like our own Iowa caucus, but with more sequins.

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Fugs and Fabs: The Other Bennet Sisters of Pride & Prejudice & Zombies


Lily James is, of course, our zombie-fighting Elizabeth Bennet. Let’s eyeball her sisters.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab: Lily James in Erdem


Well, you can’t say that she’s not SELLING this. The question is, are we buying?

[Photos: Getty]

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