Fug File: Fugs

Eva Fuggoria

This event was in the name of HER foundation, partially…

… so someone should’ve found her a dress that didn’t look like a chocolate wrapper flattened by a child’s motorized 4×4. Or at LEAST teach the child to run over it in a way that gives it a flattering shape. MY GOD, WOMAN. Don’t you KNOW who you ARE?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]



Well Played, Allison Janney

Do I LOVE the shoes? No.

Does it ruin anything? NO. That sound you hear is my inner child bemoaning my outer crone for not growing up this splendidly.

[Photo: Splash]



Casual Fuggerday: Josh Jackson and Diane Kruger

For those of you who (a) need a constant stream of Pacey, or (b) like stripe-y summer dresses, or (c) BOTH, I am HERE FOR YOU:

Those white shoes are a bold move, Diane. I am picking up what you’re putting down, but I might just be setting it aside to think about it later.

And for those of you who are thinking, “Pacey-Schmacy, I need a better look at her dress,” I’m here for you, TOO. It’s full-service here at GFY today:

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Come and Fug It: Selena Gomez

I was just talking to someone the other day about how Selena Gomez is ALLEGEDLY back together with The Biebs, and how the fact that Taylor Swift ALLEGEDLY friend-broke-up with Selena over her continued back and forth with Our Prince of the Diaper Drawers is points in Taylor’s favor, because an on-again off-again relationship with Mr. Bieber would be well-nigh unbearable for the people on the outside and that fact that she ALLEGEDLY went all, “this is exhausting” about it makes me like her. But boy troubles aside, I would also want to Get A Grip Friend Selena over this OUTFIT:

Dude. You can be sexy, you can wear a caftan, but you, Selena Gomez, cannot pull off The Sexy Caftan. Step aside.

[Photo: AKM/GSI]


WTF: Freida Pinto

I’m quite perplexed by what is happening here:

Like, from the hips down, it is normal. From the rib cage up, it is normal. But right in the middle there, it’s like she’s wearing a high fashion back brace: I spent an hour convinced that what I think is actually white detailing on the pants was in fact attached to the top, like the sartorial version of lashing yourself to the mast of your ship during a storm. An outfit should not inspire similes for potential nautical disasters.

[Photo; Fame/Flynet]


I Fug Ya Papi: Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad


Jennifer Lopez at LULAC/NUVOtv Unity Luncheon

“Lovers, I played my part. I went to the luncheon dressed up as Church Lady Lopez, with my pink and my hair like the evening news, and my shoes of fancy sneezes, and I told everyone about my vegan diet and took the selfies. And I smiled, lovers, and I am smiling now, but I think you see the VENOM OF PASSION in my eyes. Why? Because it has come to my attention that there is a title of First Lady. And it is NOT ME. LOVERS. I did not wear my thighs all those times for THIS INSULT. I WAS A MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ONE YEAR. WHAT MORE EXPERIENCE DO I NEED TO BE FIRST LADY OF EVERYWHERE. I demand more, lovers. I demand a recount of the election that never happened. America is supposed to be a DEMOCRACY, no? If you are going to go around telling everyone you are America’s First Lady, EARN IT. LOPEZ-STYLE. Now excuse me, lovers. I need to go wipe my rage on my hip-napkins.”

[Photo: Getty]