Fug File: Fugs

WTF: Patricia Arquette

Now that I have seen this, I’m honestly really bummed all over again that she and Thomas Jane are no more, although I’m also bummed because until now I did not know the mighty caftan could be completely drained of joy:

She looks like a leader in the world’s most lifeless cult. But a woman who so blithely goes Full Tragic Caftan belongs with a man who goes full Weird Chicken Foot at the Emmys. (Not to mention a man who we witnessed accidentally crash the runway at Fashion Week.) Can someone work some mojo to get this particular band back together? It might cheer her up.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fug the Cover, Jessica Brown Findlay on Tatler, September 2014

Look, I LOVE Tatler, but this is arguably meaner than what happened to poor Lady Sybil:

Jessica Brown Findlay on Tatler (1)

I mean, I want to read ALL of those articles. The Poshest Old People’s Homes? YES. Secret Oxford clubs? YES. 10 Signs I Am A Bad Houseguest? YES. (Though I can probably guess those: leave your dirty towels on the floor, shag the hostess’s husband, break someone’s priceless Waterford something or other.) They even used the word “twit,” which I love, and which we don’t use enough. BUT DUDES. YOU GUYS. COME ON. WHAT.¬† She looks like Ashlee Simpson in this shot, and as much as I LONG for Ashlee Simpson to guest on Downton season 7 — IMAGINE IT — she does not belong on the cover of Tatler.¬†UNLESS THIS TOO IS TONGUE-IN-CHEEK. In which case, well played, old friends, but perhaps not very charitably.


Well Played: 73 Questions with Daniel Radcliffe

You know how Vogue does this series where they ask a celebrity 73 questions in one single shot? (We brought you the Sarah Jessica Parker one, as well, and I just realized both that and this involve ping-pong. Do I have a ping-pong thing?) While this is mildly to the side of our usual editorial coverage (well, technically, someone DOES show up in a jumpsuit), let’s get real: I cannot resist sharing Dan Radcliffe. He is so charming and great, and also his favorite drink — I am about to spoil you — is Diet Coke. I love you, DanRad.

I must admit that when they asked him what his spirit animal was, I screamed out, “IT’S A STAG EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.”

[Courtesy of Vogue]


Fairly Well-Played Waxwork: Hugh Bonneville

In fairness, ANYTHING would look like a competent waxwork compared to the HORRID MONSTROSITY that was the Selena Gomez Waxwork. I suspect there is a reason Selena did not pose with hers, and that reason is because she would be making a horrified face. It would have been just as entertaining as this, although in a wholly different way:

Am I crazy, or is that a decent facsimile of Lord Grantham? (I suppose it helps that they’ve put him in a most basic suit — a SIMPLE TUXEDO that Lord G wouldn’t even deign to wear to dig around for his lost Gutenberg Bible — and not some ridiculous frippery, not that the classic tuxedo helped when they ruined Prince William.) It’s possible that I am just charmed by Hugh Bonneville’s shenanigans.

But of course you’d like to see the entire thing:

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The Fugpendables 3: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Of all the things this movie may posit are expendable…

… that piece of fabric should not be not one of them.

[Photo: Splash]


What the Fug: Madame Tussauds

FUG NATION. Prepare for a truly abhorrent artistic endeavor. I’m here for you in the difficult time ahead. Are you ready?

Behold: Wax Selena Gomez.

Selena Gomez

IT’S ROTTEN. The face somehow looks like Judy Garland, in a way that’s an insult to Judy Garland. The outfit is a leather-knickered nightmare crowned with tissue paper. And NO. JUST NO. WE ARE AT WAXCON 1.

[Photo: Getty]