We’re having to pull a few rabbits out of hats today. I know, I know, plenty of other sites come up with content, and I should quit my whining, but… I feel like I need to explain to you guys that we’re not denying you a load of historically awful fashion just because we want to talk about facial hair. And yet, I’d rather discuss the relative hotness of Jake Gyllenhaal’s manscaping than trot out a picture of a celeb in a maxi dress just to do it. So let’s get down to it. These are IMPORTANT MATTERS.

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[Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash]