Author Archives: Heather

Fug Madness 2015, Round One: Bjork Bracket, Part 2


Jump to: No. 8 Nicole Richie vs. No. 9 Diane Kruger · No. 5 Rosario Dawson vs. No. 12 Anne Hathaway · No. 1 Lady Gaga vs. No. 16 Amal Alamuddin
 

4. KATE HUDSON vs. 13. ASHLEY BENSON

I sort of wish Ash Benzo here was going up against a Kardashian, because at Fashion Week she went full Kim:

Reem Acra - Front Row - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Fall 2015

I mean, I watch Pretty Little Liars, being as I’m totally outside their target demo and in total denial about it. And my reaction to that photo was, “WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM?” Not because I think they’re fake j– I actually think they’re pretty clearly not — but because it’s not like we haven’t seen plenty of her before and WHERE were they?

Strapped down, here, I guess:

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It’s as well. Maybe they sent her a telegraph asking that her to obstruct their view of this HIDEOUS shorts-suit.

I suppose you can SORT OF tell she’s got some robust cleav if you look hard enough at her bra here:

H&M Flagship Fifth Avenue Store Launch Event

But frankly, I feel creepy about that. Even though she clearly is FINE with people staring at her bra, given that she wore a nearly identical motif another time:

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NEARLY identical, but not. Why anyone needs to own this type of thing ONCE, much less twice, is a mystery that only Butlerdayton Kansasduke can solve. (Sorry, I had to at least TRY to do a March Madness version of his name.)

Ashley does have kind of a young Kate Hudson look to her, so her opponent here is very apt. And Kate is about as shy as Ashley — which is to say, not at all:

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Fug or Fab: Leighton Meester


I like Leighton Meester. And I think she’s a good actress who should revisit TV sometime, because she shone in that medium on Gossip Girl but was less than electric in Country Strong. Although I must point out that Country Strong was a vortex of doom for all involved, not least that poor bird in the box. BULL TRUE.

Anyway:

Leighton Meester

I like where this thought about going, but the pants seem fractionally too Chico’s to be starlet-worthy. I like a creative pant, but she could have bought this entire outfit in a cruise ship gift shop out of desperation, and I would not have be shocked to hear it.

Gossip Girl would say...

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug Madness 2015, Round One: Madonna Bracket, Part One


As a refresher: Half of each of the four brackets plays today, and the rest of Round one tips off tomorrow (Friday), so to speak. The photos and links in each matchup post are NOT the only outfits eligible; rather, they’re a representative sample of the body of work. Polls close after 24 hours, so if you like to research your choices — on our site, Getty Images, Google, whatever — have at it and just make sure you vote before the game ends. If you need a primer on how all this works, peruse the FAQ; if you forgot your bracket, click here. And, most importantly, have fun!

 

Jump to: No. 3 Jessie J vs No. 14 Willa Holland · No. 6 Heidi Klum vs. No. 11 Keira Knightley · No. 7 Kendall Jenner vs. No. 10 Gwen Stefani
 

2. CHLOE GRACE MORETZ vs. 15. LI BINGBING

Sometimes, once we get to writing these, I groan to myself, “Oh, we seeded that person in totally the wrong spot.” Case in point: Li Bingbing, who would have missed this altogether were it not for her Transformers press tour wardrobe. But WHAT A WARDROBE IT WAS:

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It’s A ROMPER AND SHEER PANTS. No, not even pants. LEG BAGS.

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And of course this terrifying window, above which a wintry orgy is happening on her pelvis.

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And for good measure, she dressed up as Big Bird’s most dangerous temptress. She also wore this incredibly ugly Giambattista Valli, in a rare departure from sheers, although there is a tiny sternum keyhole. So, while she didn’t hit a ton of visible (to us) promotional circuits, she picked outfits for maximum shriek-inducement for the premieres we did see.

Don’t hand her the win just yet, though. On the other side of the battle: Chloe Grace Moretz, who was ALL OVER TOWN this past year, and did it in a variety of outfits that were creatively hideous. It’s really easy to look awful in all of the above, and it’s equally easy to FIND that stuff because it’s ALL OVER THE PLACE on every runway. But I don’t know how Chloe even thought to LOOK for this shiny nightmare:

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Fug Madness 2015, Round One: Bjork Bracket, Part One


As a refresher: Half of each of the four brackets plays today, and the rest of Round one tips off tomorrow (Friday), so to speak. The photos and links in each matchup post are NOT the only outfits eligible; rather, they’re a representative sample of the body of work. Polls close after 24 hours, so if you like to research your choices — on our site, Getty Images, Google, whatever — have at it and just make sure you vote before the game ends. If you need a primer on how all this works, peruse the FAQ; if you forgot your bracket, click here. And, most importantly, have fun!

Jump to: No. 2 Miley Cyrus vs No. 15 Jared Leto · No. 3 Charli XCX vs. No. 14 Selena Gomez · No. 7 Katy Perry vs. No. 10 Julianne Moore
 

6. ZENDAYA vs. 11. MELISSA GEORGE

If you’d wanted to start slow, well… not happening. Or hattening, as the case may be:

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One of my favorite parts of Fug Madness is rediscovering all the stuff that got bleached out of my brain during the course of the year, and this was tops among them. The noise I made was something approaching a shriek. I half expect her to raise a trap door on that thing and reveal Rick Moranis’s face in there.

So, that’s one extreme of Zendaya. Here the other:

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Given that she wore this to the AMAs, the disco-ness of it is at least somewhat on theme, and she’s carrying it off with as much panache as any teenager could. Having said that: It’s still gold-dipped BANANAS.

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I am so glad that Zendaya appears to have put away the bandeau tops in 2015. Her interest in experimenting is great, and laudable, and she has enough personal charisma to sell almost anything. But boob spandex is one road she doesn’t need to traverse, and hopefully she won’t again.

I guess “at least her chest is covered” is the one piece of connective tissue between her and Melissa George.

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Fug the Show: Other Noteworthy “Empire” Moments in Season One


We covered Cookie already, but given again that the finale is tonight — and that I wish we’d been able to write about this wackfest all along — I figured I’d provide some Best of the Rest grabs for your entertainment. And hey, if you were thinking about watching, this will be… oh, at least a 30-percent decent primer.

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Fug or Fab: Lena Dunham in Tanya Taylor


I actually was going to give this a full Well Played, because I think this is pretty damn fetching.

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But then I decided Fug Nation should get to gnaw on it a bit, in poll form, given that we’ve been begging Lena to pull it together for such a long time now. Her hair and makeup are cute, the dress is as springy as I think everyone on the East Coast is eager to be (yeah, it’s not WARM there yet, but after such a rough winter a little optimism isn’t going amiss for me), and I actually really love the whimsy of the polka-dot shoes with a striped frock. I pause a little on the fact that the basic shoe is a Champagne satin, which looks dirty even a leg’s length away from the dress itself, but I’m otherwise extremely optimistic. And of course feeling pangs of loss for the reliable raft of fuggery she floated on before — this site creates a complex relationship between tugger and fuggee, in which we both want them to change for their own sakes and NEVER WANT THEM TO CHANGE, EVER, for ours — but let’s put this sucker to a vote and see if you’re all as stoked as I am, or if it’s just the Cadbury’s Mini-Eggs talking.

Bring it:

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[Photo: Getty]

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