Author Archives: Heather

Staredown Fug: Keke Palmer


Because this wasn’t really about scrolling. It’s more… the longer I looked at it, and from different angles, the more vexed I grew.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug the Lipstick: Andra Day


I do not wish to appear ungrateful for the fact that Andra legitimately attempted to add some color to her lips.

Andra Day

But WHY OH WHY did it have to be a shade that makes her look like she just ate clay direct from her potter’s wheel? That is ONLY acceptable if Young Patrick Swayze is somehow involved.

[Photo: Getty]

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Your Afternoon Chat: Mules


I am so curious what your brain jumped to when you read the word “mules.” The animal? Swallowing a condom full of drugs? Or to the 1990s, when people’s feet intentionally looked like this?

Elizabeth Olsen

I have to be honest: I didn’t have much love for mules the first time around; I mean, look at them. Elizabeth here looks like she is headed to Elf School, where she teaches them how to make Koosh balls. But one Amanda Woodward — the gloriously smart, efficient she-storm of steel played by Heather Locklear on Melrose Place – used to tromp around in mules ALL THE TIME as the capper to her tiny mini-skirted suits. And so to me, mules are time machine. I look at them and instantly I am in my dorm room watching Dr. Michael Mancini making out with all kinds of people, and Amanda dishing out verbal abuse to terrible Alison, and Jake being so boring but so hot, and Jane mispronouncing the word “design” as though it has twelve Es in it up front, and Kimberly Ripping Off Her Wig. It was a wonderful time. But it was not a high point for footwear, and so I tend to think mules should stay exactly there, in that space and time forever, kicked off under Amanda’s desk — you know, the one over which her former boss Bruce hung himself.

What say ye? Are you pro-mule? Anti-mule? A former acolyte who has vowed never to go back? Or a current convert?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab: Chris Pine


Recently Chris Pine decided to rock a tight-pants 70s swinger vibe.

Chris Pine

Here, he’s switched to a little bit of vintage Dylan McKay: brooding middle-distance gaze that’s tinged with skepticism (AND A FEAR OF VULNERABILITY and desire for Jim Walsh to just please love him like a son), hands jammed in pockets, and a shirt that’s a lot louder than you expected.

If we back out for the whole look…

Chris Pine

… well, now I kind of wish we hadn’t.

[Photos: Getty]

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WTF: Lea Michele


My calendar tells me its not Halloween yet.

Lea Michele

So why is Lea Michele’s pelvis in costume as paper grocery bag? Was this a Come As Your Favorite Recyclable party?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: The War Dogs Premiere


I am skeptical of this movie. Which is neither here nor there, but it had to be said.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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What the Fugs: Various Kardashian/Jenners


It’s amazing to me that a family that CONSTANTLY discusses its weight and fitness does not also understand the logic of “JUST GO UP A SIZE. NOBODY WILL KNOW BUT YOU.”

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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