Author Archives: Heather

Fugs and Fabs: Various Recent International Elle Covers

Because often these are more interesting than the U.S. ones.


Fug and Fab The Covers: Marie Claire May 2014 “Fresh Faces” Issue

So, Marie Claire put Lupita Nyong’o, Elizabeth Olsen, Elle Fanning, Kate Mara, and Emilia Clarke on the cover this month; most of them get the royal treatment, but the last of those ladies should probably sue because her cover is AWFUL.

[Photos: Marie Claire]


Scrolldown Fug: Solange

Actually, I’ll be honest, this is really more of a roller-coaster — down then up then down then up:

She whiffed the lipstick but I LOVE the blazer; don’t like the vaginal eruption but those shoes are great. She has, with one outfit, encapsulated the whiplash of our entire relationship.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Samantha Barks in Burberry Prorsum

There is something so delicately lovely about this:

And then you start looking closer at the skirt, and you realize that YET AGAIN we’re being taken for a ride by a Granny Pants Bandit, and it’s like, SIGH, can’t something else mug us for our Diet Coke money just ONCE?


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[Photo: Getty]


Unfug It Up: Chloe Grace Moretz in Carven

I keep thinking that thing around her neck is a dandruff catcher.

Not that such a thing really exists, although it could; it just strikes me as having been draped across her shoulders for the purpose of protecting her shoulders from debris, be it from makeup or the heartbreaking pain of dry scalp. I keep waiting for someone to sneak in there and remove it so that we can see what the real top of the dress looks like. At first I thought it was fairly lively; then I wondered if it was worth a conversation about whether the sleeves and the frock itself needed to be in more harmony, and now that I’m staring at it, something about the waist is making her boxy and the entire THING gives off the vibe that she’s slouching even though I don’t believe that is true. Posture is hard enough without the clothes actively working AGAINST you.

I also want to burn the shoes, but I say that about 70 percent of celebrities these days. You could write that complaint in your sleep.

[Photo: WENN]


Strongfugr: Kim Kardashian in Balmain

The beaded Balmain from yesterday had very similar problems to this dress:

That being, we all know that Kim Kardashian is INSANELY FIT right now. We’ve just seen her frolicking in a bikini and rump-roasting for a photoshoot in Thailand, and Us Weekly and its ilk are slavishly covering her pre-wedding workout regimen. This woman is in extremely good shape. So why is she prowling around Paris in not one but TWO thick, tight, smothering maxi-dresses that add fifteen pounds to her midsection? I don’t GET IT. There are so many incomprehensible things about Planet Kardashia, and one of them is that when you combine her net worth and Kanye’s AND the fact that people are surely giving them these things for free, it’s ASTONISHING that she manages to pick stuff that’s so unflattering. It would be one thing if we thoughtshe didn’t care about people thinking she’s perfectly slim, but she DOES care, because she’s telling people she does a hundred squats every morning, and thrives on showing off her curves on Instagram and whatnot. Her brand is her body, at this point, and so you’d think she’d at least package it well.

Even better, she wore this off a plane from Paris to Miami. I do not harbor any delusions that she wore it for the whole flight, but I am LOVING imagining her changing out of it in the air, and then, just before landing, having to wrestle herself back into it and accidentally, like, dropping a sleeve in the lav, and having to try and dry it on some paper towels.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]