It’s okay, Brad.
You don’t have to be lonely with FarmersOnly.com.
This dress is not good. It makes her look like a box that somebody quit trying to open.
But my first piece of free advice is: If your illusion netting undulates spontaneously, you’re doing it wrong. Marble your cakes, your rib-eyes, and your slabs, not your torso.
This is going to be SO embarrassing for Kensington Pubis — er, I mean, Palace…
… because Kate Middleton had just picked this out for her last day in Australia.
Between the minimalist makeup and the center-parted long dark locks, I seriously looked at this and thought, for a second, “Oh, look, Toni Braxton.”
It’s uncanny. But it’s also really… boring. I’m all for her features having a chance to shine, but she’s almost SO aggressively trying to downplay her natural quirk — in service of what, being a “serious actress” in the future? — that it’s making her kind of a blank. Embrace the middle ground, Nicki. And embracelet yourself.
I still can’t hum a single one of her songs, but I know her hideous wardrobe from the last two years like the back of my own hand.
Ariana Grande is totally America’s soulmate.
Because, admit it: If any of us had been invited to the White House Easter Egg roll, and the First Family and thirty-thousand other people would be there, we ABSOLUTELY would’ve dressed up like a sweater drawer that recently quit its job to become a stripper.
And I definitely would’ve let it fall off my shoulder.
Because THAT looks like a sweater drawer that quit its job to star in a Flashdance sequel. ALSO perfect for an Easter party. IT’S JUST SO FESTIVE.