Author Archives: Heather

Fug or Fab: Nicki Minaj

Between the minimalist makeup and the center-parted long dark locks, I seriously looked at this and thought, for a second, “Oh, look, Toni Braxton.”

It’s uncanny. But it’s also really… boring. I’m all for her features having a chance to shine, but she’s almost SO aggressively trying to downplay her natural quirk — in service of what, being a “serious actress” in the future? — that it’s making her kind of a blank. Embrace the middle ground, Nicki. And embracelet yourself.

Or maybe it's great. You tell me:

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[Photo: Getty]


Recent Fugs: Rita Ora

I still can’t hum a single one of her songs, but I know her hideous wardrobe from the last two years like the back of my own hand.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


What the Fug: Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande is totally America’s soulmate.

Because, admit it: If any of us had been invited to the White House Easter Egg roll, and the First Family and thirty-thousand other people would be there, we ABSOLUTELY would’ve dressed up like a sweater drawer that recently quit its job to become a stripper.

And I definitely would’ve let it fall off my shoulder.

Because THAT looks like a sweater drawer that quit its job to star in a Flashdance sequel. ALSO perfect for an Easter party. IT’S JUST SO FESTIVE.

[Photos: Splash]


Fugson’s Creek: Katie Holmes in Zac Posen

Her face says, “I know,. I KNOW. Let’s just get through this.”

Her evil satin hell-clot of a dress says, “HA! SUCKER. #TeamJen.”

[Photo: Getty]


Fugs and Fines of Coachella: Second Weekend

The second verse is not QUITE the same as the first, sadly. Or fortunately?

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News]


Fug the Show: Lindsay on OWN, season finale (episodes seven and eight)

Clearly, after the events of the last six episodes, filming with Lindsay essentially ground to a halt. These two hours are patched together from filler, stretched-out shooting days that are spread out as far as possible, and interview bites that I think are cobbled together from stuff they’ve already shown, just to fill the dead air with some sound. I don’t know if Lindsay stopped cooperating, or had almost nothing going on in her life, or what, but this is where the show becomes the crew only shooting with her on infrequent days and even then often not from within her house. But there is a bombshell at the end that we’ll all need to discuss, so let’s press forth…

The first piece is Lindsay shooting Billy on the Street with comedian Billy Eichner, for Funny or Die. The premise: They’re so angry that How I Met Your Mother is ending that they’re going to trash a branded HIMYM car with sledgehammers. And at first it promises to be more of the same — her call time is 1 p.m., they’re worried about losing the light, etc. — but just as they set 3:05 p.m. as the drop-dead for proceeding without her, she decides to leave her apartment. Her excuse is that she’s sick with a chest cold, and she does sound hoarse, but still. It’s more of the same. It’s like she thinks pushing her limits is an art, and she’s trying to master it. But we do at least get to see her wearing a welder’s mask, staring contemplatively at the sky. I hope that’s her book cover. Wishing Weld, by Lindsay Lohan.

The one line she contributes — that we see — is “Reruns can’t sustain me,” which Billy Eichner allegedly thinks is genius, but which she delivers with all the comedic oomph of someone sending back her dinner because the steak was overcooked.

And then when they ask her to stick around and give them two wild lines — re-recordings of stuff she already said, in case the mics didn’t pick it up, or stray lines they can cut in if needed — she gives them this face. Over TWO LINES. The dude in the middle is the show’s exec producer, and he can barely contain his astonishment that she’s claiming her voice is too shot for two wild lines. She would rather leave and go somewhere else another day to record them, and you can see this guy inwardly groaning and realizing that having to schedule her again is going to be slow-cooked insanity. Eventually, his guys tell him they have what they need and she can just leave, so it becomes a moot point. Kind of like most of the rest of the finale, actually.

Next up, the kind of shot that must give Amy Rice acid flashbacks:

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