Your Fuggy Is A Wonderland

Girl, please.

If it only BARELY works for Johnny Depp, it’s never going to work for you.

[Photo: Splash News]


Leave a reply

Comments (39):

  1. Jennifer A.

    HA! Bull true girls, bull true.

  2. Fawn

    @Jennifer A. “Bull true” may be my favorite phrase from a movie EVER, and this is definitely an appropriate use of the phrase. Bull true indeed!

  3. What's The New Black

    Hahaha! Oh my God, I can’t even stop laughing!!

  4. pinkcheese

    I love you. Bull true!!

  5. jennifer

    do you think he was trying to achieve Depp-like awesomeness? Epic: FAIL. John Mayer is such a doosh.

  6. eee

    Bull true, indeed!

    His facial hair leaves more of a creepy Marc Anthony vibe and than unwashed Johnny Depp.

  7. amy

    I’m diagnosing clinical depression. In him, not me, although it does pain me to look at him.

  8. fritanga

    I suppose he feels he doesn’t have to try anymore – either people buy into the doucheiness or not.

  9. Lina

    oh, wow. It’s been a while since I saw such a complete absence of fashion sense. It’s like negative fashion sense. I wonder if an assistant is responsible for this, or if he did it to himself.

  10. Kit Lang

    Perfect commentary is perfect.

    (and the laughs were enjoyable too)

  11. Michelle

    Amen, sisters. Amen.

  12. Lindy

    I’m with Amy. He really does seem like he might be truly depressed.

  13. Eliza Bennett

    “What is happening in his crotchal region?!” Things I Should Not Yell At Work…but Did Anyway. Is Mayer Not Miracle Whip holding a gym sock between his thighs? Something WEIRD is going on there–the fabric changes type.

  14. yeahandalso

    I remember freshman year of college when we all thought he seemed like a nice, cute, sensitive guy…you know before his transformation into greasy, tattooed douche in a Depp costume. Still though, he is only one vest, three scarves and 8 bracelets away from a sweet Johnny halloween costume

  15. Kary

    I have my new motto.

  16. Emm

    Ugh, what ‘inspired’ him to dress like this? I smell a stylist because the sleeves are pretentiously rolled up.

    What’s happening in the crotch is a gusset. It’s a diamond (geometric, not stone) shaped piece of fabric sewn in to give the pants more room, droop and ‘I’m wearing a diaper-look’ to them.

    I was curious about John Mayer early in career until I caught the wiff of arrogant, loud-mouthed douche’ coming off him from Cali, all the way over here in NY. He sux.

  17. deee

    John Mayer knows exactly who and what he looks like. He is too self absorbed to think otherwise.

    Now on to more important and confusing stuff. What is it with the “load in the pants” trouser/jean style? Apparently I am an old fuddy duddy because I do not understand. Kids these days.

  18. Megan

    I was just thinking that I’d like a new John Mayer album to drop but now I’m not so sure. If this is indicative of the songs he’s writing these days, count me out.

  19. Dazie

    I’m so in the minority. I still think he’s… well… hot-ish. In the “I wanna strip him down and give him a good shower” kind of way.

    *sigh* But my track record speaks for itself in the “long hair, bad stubble, semi-skeevy angsty brunet boys” category. Meh.

  20. Jamee

    douche douche blah blah douche

  21. vandalfan

    And I wondered what happened to our Boy Scouts’ old canvas tent. His pants explain it.

  22. Lady Satan

    He looks like the weird love-child of Johnny Depp and Marc Anthony.

  23. YDM

    You, sir, are no Johnny Depp He makes me want to whip out a crucifix and say ‘get the behind me, skank.’ Though now that I read that make it far, far behind me.

  24. ERS

    Ha! My husband works there (where John is leaving) and the night JM came in, he said “John Mayer was wearing the WORST hat tonight. What is he thinking?”. So. Even my husband was appalled at that fug.

    Good story, huh?

  25. Geemee

    He is far too color coordinated for his own good. And I can almost smell him through my screen.

  26. Tara Misu

    “Girl, please” :D

    And bull true…. you have made my day!

  27. The Other Molly

    “Weird love-child of Johnny Depp and Marc Anthony”
    Lady Satan for the win!

  28. Sajorina

    Eeewww!!! Someone please strap him to the top of a car and put him through a car wash!

  29. A.J.

    Dude. You are not Johnny Depp. You are a douchebag. And you look both pathetic and ridiculous.

  30. Stacy

    Blah…Is that a sock stuck to his right pant leg up near his crotch?? Did he just grab this ensemble from the dryer or what??

  31. Claire L

    The girl behind him needs to size her shoes up a size!

  32. NYCGirl

    That goes for you too, Ryan Cabrera!

  33. Miranda

    It so belongs to Johnny Depp, for whom it works VERY WELL, that I thought this actually was Johnny Heartthrob Depp at first glance. At second glance, I was angry – no one, especially Mr. Doesn’t Know When to Keep his Trap Shut, should copy Johnny’s style.

  34. roser

    Why do women still have sex with this man?

  35. Aria

    I think this oufit is perfect on him as it makes him look like the tool that he is.

  36. Lisa

    I have no problem whatsoever with taking his clothes off, and giving him a bath and a hair cut :)

  37. Heather

    He’s trying way too hard to look like he’s not trying at all.

  38. pinkopaque22

    Seriously John…from a hot-blooded, HAWT, NON-celebrity girl, with girl parts and shit…when will you go away?

  39. sarky

    Eyeball searing fug. On the upside, at least there is truth in his advertising..