You the Jury: Carrie Underwood at the CMAs

It’s probably supposed to be country music’s biggest night, but really, it’s Carrie Underwood’s stylist’s biggest night. Apparently Carrie Underwood had ten costume changes, but our photo sources only gave us access to these, so we must forge ahead and try not to feel the ache in our soul that we didn’t have a photo of the neck ruffle that looks like she wronged an accordion. Band together and examine the evidence before determining whether she is guilty or innocent of fug in the first degree. Or second. Or even third, if you want. So many degrees.

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[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (61):

  1. Jenn

    Where you wrote “beacon of fabulosity” I thought it said, “bacon of fabulosity.” I snorted.

  2. Lindy

    Where does she even FIND these things?

    • jenny

      Seriously, I was just thinking…so many different outfits and yet never ever are they even slightly in tune with each other or with what everyone else in the world finds fashionable at the moment. She’s in her own weird Underhill Fashion Universe.

  3. Bella

    Same fug, different year.

  4. Jen

    Her taste is just tragic.

  5. Carolina Girl

    Is Miss Piggy wearing Louboutin’s? Sparkly Louboutin’s??
    It’s a damn shame when you get upstaged by a Louboutin-wearing puppet with someone’s hand shoved up her ass.

    • Kit

      I was just going to say “Why is Miss Piggy better dressed than Carrie Underwood at ALL times?”


  6. Kat

    Um, if I had Carrie Underwood’s legs, hair, face, etc., I wouldn’t give a damn about my clothes either!

  7. Clara

    “What sneezed on her?” Pure Fug gold.

  8. EAG46

    I wanted to vote “Miss Piggy” for the verdict. Carrie’s very pretty, but she has weird taste in clothes.

  9. JillB

    When you mentioned the “Tim McGraw” doll, I thought you were talking about the fact that the guy in the white hat looks exactly the same in both posted photos. He could be a cardboard cutout!

  10. Lynne

    Carrie seems very pretty but she also seems very plastic so it’s sort of hard to tell. It’s all very “Miss America hosts the CMAs”. Not my taste.

    • Alix

      YES! “Miss America” sums up her style perfectly.

      And really, TEN wardrobe changes? Do they think people will start turning the channel in droves if the show comes back from commercial break and Carrie’s in the same dress?

    • witjunkie

      You know, she was very plastic on American Idol too. I thought then, she has a great voice but she seems like a CGI.

  11. wordphreak

    This pig always wins.

  12. D

    I actually think the pink, flowery dress is really pretty, but the shoes are fug and the way her hair is styled with that outfit makes the whole thing look too precious.

  13. edstoker

    The ghost of Tammy Wynette…

  14. val.

    The shoes she’s wearing with that asymmetrical white dress are awesome!
    I don’t like any of the rest of it.

  15. Heather

    She should have quit while she was ahead and stuck with the sparkly gold number for the entire show!

  16. Eliza Bennett

    I actually like the meadow goddess dress–for an awards show. It’s kind of crazy swoopy sexy. Everything but that and the first gold dress, though..lawd hep the child. Guilty.

  17. a

    The bronze sparkly dress in the link was pretty and flattering – that might have swayed my vote…until you got to Miss Piggy.

  18. Jana

    All of the people on my TV look so orange these days….

  19. TonyG

    More courtroom! I love prosection vs. defense. It put me in a great mood as I head out for the inevitable frustration of my subway commute back home!

  20. Claire L

    Exhibit three reminds me of when the dancers would walk around campus in those plastic dance pants they all wore with their old jazz shoes ( new ones were for the show) because we were School of the Arts students after all.
    ( I was a nerdy tech geek….so I missed out on the dance pants)

  21. Alix

    She’s always styled to look about 15 years older than she is. I wish she’d ditch the false eyelashes, get in touch with a more natural hair color and embrace some more fun, youthful fashion.

  22. lanae

    i dont care for her terribly much.
    the miss piggy dress was best of all but still not great.
    agree with the rest, however, that miss piggy was great.

  23. Oblaadee

    Fugetabout Ms. Underwood. She’s just living vicariously thru the Miss U.S.A. pagent anyway. What made me stand at attention was the article at the bottom of the page about intern George’s interview with Rolling Stone, talking about his sex life. WHEW! Howabout this, ‘Thou shalt not handle thine johnson.’” George. Gotta love him.

  24. S

    She really grates on me for some reason. The shiny pale lips don’t help. The first dress was pretty but it went spiraling downhill.

  25. vandalfan

    I want to grab whoever supplied her with all these wretched shoes and take ‘em out and horse whip ‘em. The dresses were bad enough without the podiatric insults. All of the dresses are wrong, from slightly wrong gold spangles to incredibly wrong Green Goddess. I mean, those sleeves- really? Seriously?

  26. Art Eclectic

    I love the goddess in the meadow dress, too. Maybe with less plunging neckline. Otherwise, I want to sweep through my garden in the afternoon with a cup of green tea and wearing that dress.

  27. ChristopherD

    The first dress was only interesting BECAUSE of the orange Juice… otherwise please note to all celebs, ONLY Miss Piggy looks good in those hoof/platform shoes.
    Have they made a live action Barbie movie (I’ll never see it anyway) but maybe she’s pushing to play Barbie, because honey lamb the PIG is outdressing you (even with a hand up her ass… )

  28. witjunkie

    All I know is, whoever Miss Piggy’s surgeon is, he is awesome. She looks great.

  29. anny

    You know how Barbie’s flowing chiffon dresses never do, because the scale is too small for any fabric to actually flow? Much of this is like that.

    Also that is the world’s biggest peach pocket hankie.

  30. jhops

    She’s like the First Lady of Tacky. Even the stuff that sorta has potential just falls flat.

  31. Tracy L

    The first gold dress is OK. She should have stuck with that one. The rest are all fugly and/or look like costumes.
    Can you imagine trying to come up with that many outfits and change that many times in one night? Is that not ridiculous? What’s the point?

  32. Andriana

    She looks fake. Why changing so many dresses, when all of them say “boring”. The flower one and the one in pink, with Miss Piggy were really nice, but she is way too shiny and plastic herself and manages to make them boring too.

  33. SaraK

    How can anyone manage to pull together so many hideous dresses all in one place? Even on a really bad shopping trip, I manage to find a FEW things that are somehow decent (but too expensive or not quite the right size, which is why it’s a bad shopping trip and I go home empty handed and have to wear some boring old dress I already own to the party after all…a problem celebs don’t seem to have). But none of poor Carrie’s dresses would ever be good unless you took them apart and made something new out of the pieces. Seriously, I could do a better job dressing her than her stylist does and I can barely dress myself halfway decently. She is the Queen of Award Show Fug.

  34. NYCGirl

    I think some of the outfits might be able to be unfugged, but as things stand currently, I don’t like any of them.

  35. Lina

    Miss Piggyyyyyyyyy For The Win!! \o/

  36. Kellilee

    I agree with whomever posted above that said if they looked like Carrie Underwood, they wouldn’t worry about clothes.
    And I absolutely LOVE “you the jury” posts. They never fail to crack me up.

  37. Mandy

    Loved the court case on Carrie. Very well-written. It read like it had taken quite some time and effort to write it up. Excellent result. And the polls are just like the icing on Carrie’s tulle cupcake.

  38. Michelle

    SO glad I’m not the only one who read bacon of fabulosity!

    I like the gold, sparkly one and the one with Miss Piggy (but what’s up with the look on CU’s face?) – not guilty. I would have liked Pepto if had been all floor-length (I think) and meadow goddess without the wack sleeves. So, no contest on those. The rest… someone needs to put her stylist away for crimes against good taste.

  39. yvetterene

    Out of ALL of those outfits, not one of them is cute! She has got the worst fashion sense ever. Although those black heels are fabulous.

  40. MelissaW

    The gold dress has a great cut (yeah, the odd color bit near the crotch was wierd…maybe the lighting?). When she came out in the white hanky dress I hoped she had on good undies because the first row was about to get a show – if it’s that short, it ought not to stick out like that (the Barbie doll bit was AWESOME!). The peach ring/hip scarf dress didn’t seem to fit and it was peach – she’s so spray-tanned she comes off as orange…not a good combo. Black vaudeville outfit – sooo summer dance camp with a last-minute “Mein Herr” scene from CABARET. I really thought the white print gown was a good choice for TV, a mite long though. Green dress looked lke something someone found moldering in a forgetten corner from the original Charlie’s Angels show.

    And Miss Piggy was fabulous as per usual.

  41. ann

    Exhibit A is very Queen Mum

  42. Anne B

    I have never seen anyone trot out this many almost-good-but-throttled looks in a single event. Every single one entirely misses the target — but in a way specific to Carrie. A way that says, “I’m Underwood, b!tch. Watch what I do with THIS one.”

    You have to admire the consistency of that.

    Underwood is like the Bizarro-World SWINTON. And also, I realize, my probable next Fug Madness champ …

  43. Rita

    This photo set is the WORST set of clothing for an evening I have ever seen on gofugyourself. She wins. I kept waiting for a redemption dress. It never happened. Remember this next year for the brackets.

  44. Jae

    I just don’t know. I adore La Underwood — she’s classy and lady-like, is entirely scandal free and never gets caught showing her lady bits to the voracious public who are always on the look out for celebrity lady bits. And don’t get me started on her looks — that hair, those teeth, those LEGS! I want to motorboat her thighs and I don’t even play for the LPGA.

    But yes, her clothes. Whenever I see her at a public event I want to take Trish Townsend out back and slap the holy shit out of her. How does this woman remain employed?? Millions of people out of work in a bad economy and this chick has a job making otherwise beautiful women look dreadful? C’mon!

  45. AM

    Would someone please explain just WHY she needs to change clothes so many times? I mean, most people, not even the British Royal family and first ladies, don’t change formal gowns every few minutes at some state dinner. What would be so terrible if she wore the same dress for one event, maybe changing for a performance if necessary?

  46. cat

    This girl has a penchant to the tackiest, most unflattering dresses ever and this hideous collection is no exception. Can’t stand her. Also, Miss Piggy rocks.

  47. lisas

    The sneeze dress has clear plastic straps. CLEAR PLASTIC STRAPS.

  48. Hannah

    Quite frankly, I wish MORE outfits were inspired by Peaches ‘n’ Cream Barbie. That’s why I love Lady Holiday in the Great Muppet Caper so much (well at least her gown at the supper club).

  49. say what

    She looks like she’s from Oklahoma. No offense to Oklahomans or whatever y’all are called but most of you have a look. Not bad or anything, just kinda similar. Sort of like Texans. Yes I know she IS from OK but she does look like it. I like the color of the dress and the cut of the sleeves but the rest is meh.

  50. TaraCrews

    Something is jot not so Fashionistas about her look. Seemed like everything else clases.