I’m surprisingly invested in Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, considering I couldn’t have picked either of them out of a lineup a year ago. So I wanted better for her than this:
All the profiles written about her lately are odes to her being a tough broad with a sassy pull-no-punches attitude. So I can’t figure out why she didn’t take a look at herself in this and accordingly punch the mirror. This seems to be the exact opposite of a reflection of her personality. She even said in EW, I think, that she had a freak-out after she got married because she was afraid she’d have to live up to the “housewife” label (not to be confused with the Housewife label, which from what I can tell involves lots of injectibles and an inability to exist in polite society), and that it didn’t feel like who she was, which makes it DOUBLY inexplicable that here she looks like a stiff high-society matron. It’s unflattering and it’s stuffy and I just want to yank it up and let her hair down and tell her to go do two shots of something amber-colored.
MUCH better. I mean, I don’t know if she did the shots, but the hair is more relaxed, and the dress is sparkly in a way that befits the sparkplug image she has been projecting without pigeonholing her in it. Maybe don’t give her any booze until she puts down the crystal shiv, though, okay? The girl kills her own meat. I don’t want her to get hammered and hallucinate that Faith Hill is a tasty mountain goat.