William and Kate’s first full day in Australia involved meeting with victims of a terrible and deeply destructive brush fire near Sydney — I know everyone has great sympathy in these instances, but as a Californian, seeing brush fire and earthquake victims in consecutive days also makes me feel a whole lot of empathy, and having all these feelings is just so strange — then planting a tree with the Girl Guides (I wish we called them Girl Guides in the US, because it’s so alliterative and I love alliteration), watching people rappel, taking in a seriously majestic vista, lurking in trees, laughing in cars, and the most important thing of all: WILLIAM DID NOT WEAR A BLUE SUIT. Just a blue blazer. I am mildly concerned about his pants, but we’ll discuss. One thing at a time, William. 

Kate is wearing DVF, which I identified all by myself, to my own great personal pride, at basically precisely the same moment everyone else figured it out, which meant that I got to watch with my own two eyes as the stock on DVF.com sold out completely. I timed it, and it took eight minutes for all but one size to sell out, and that one size went shortly thereafter (which I noted on Twitter, and which has since, to my delight, been picked up by the Daily Mail, although they implied it had sold out everywhere, and I do think you can probably still track it down elsewhere if you really try…. for now.) Designers have to be praying to the deity of their choice that Kate wears them, for real, because $$$. And I myself am not immune. I successfully stalked a pair of Kate’s wedges on eBay AND I bought a blazer that she owns (not the more recent double-breasted Zara, another one) a while ago. I mean, I legitimately needed a new blue blazer. I really, really did. But…yeah. Well, it’s the middle of the night. When better to confess these things to you? Just please tell me I am not alone in this. CONFESS YOUR PURCHASES. ENABLE ME.

And now let’s talk about those pants.

[Photos: Getty]