Well Played, and Fab It Up, Angelina Jolie


Considering that a ding against Angie is often follicular limpness — or, remember those half-hearted bangs? — I thought I’d lead with the close-up.

Shine! Body! It’s almost Middletonian. I hope the two of them have become secret e-mail friends. Angie can coach Kate on how to handle magazine covers announcing that you are pregnant, and Kate can provide shine-boosting tips and volumizer samples. And then they can both talk about whether Jennifer Aniston is doing the right thing, because you know that comes up.

Let’s check out the rest of the outfit:

This is good — it’s a pleasant break from floaty caftans (although I heard the one we just featured is actually a wide-legged JUMPSUIT, THE HORROR) and I do love my Jolie in leather. That pendant is also amazing and I might even commit illegal acts for it. But overall… is this as good as it could be? I don’t think it’s fug, at all, but I wonder if we could coax a little more fab out of it. There is always a little extra honey in the bear, you know? Angelina is not exactly a funky shoe person, but I think some more audacious footwear would be a great start. Would that be enough? What would you do? Or would you leave this alone and just count your blessings that it’s not Zbornakian in volume?

[Photos: Getty and WENN]

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Comments (86):

  1. Leigh

    Yeah, this is a little too “Agent Scully’s Day Off” for me. Maybe make the shirt not so whitewhitewhite? A yellow perhaps? That might make the exquisite jewelry pop even more. And definitely lose the shoes.

    • Dara

      “Agent Scully’s Day Off” may be one of my favorite look descriptions ever.

    • GingerLover

      IF those are real emeralds, then why would you set them against yellow? I don’t think they could pop more than against the white.
      And if that’s monster is real, then a plain blouse is perfect.
      I think she looks marvelous (if thin, but we are not supposed to talk bodies), and she is Angelina Frickin’ Jolie, she is not getting lost in any crowd!

  2. marcia

    She looks like Keira Knightley to me here. And somehow, someway, that’s not a compliment to EITHER of them.

  3. La Fifie

    This is like something I used to wear to work in the early 90s (with a jacket of course). Sadly I still have the skirt and wear it sometimes.

    I love Angie Jo, but for God’s sake, her dressing is as dull as dishwater.

    • Franziska

      I thought the same… been there and done that. She could do so much better. She’s got the face, the body and the money to be THE leading lady when it comes to fashion. But maybe her six children pick out her outfits like apparently Katie Holmes’ daughter does for her mummy.

  4. qwertygirl

    She does look a bit, “20-something Marketing Assistant” who follows Glamour’s “Day to Evening” advice to the letter (she’s removed the boxy “Day” blazer and put on the “sparkly, eye-catching Evening bling”). And a little color never hurt a gal, even a pastel would be OK. But given that this look is distinctly NOT “Dorothy Zbornak Goes to a Formal Funeral” I’d say she gets some points for it.

    • Jamie

      This is like the hotter version of every female 1st year law student’s first suit. Seriously, she would be lost in the crowd at any on-campus interview day. It’s alright for interviewing at a little scandalous non-profit or taking lunch with a mentor, but jeez, lady! Hot it up a bit, or at least shorten it. Got for some leopard print open toes and then we’re talkin’.

    • Jacq

      Hahaha – you have described this look perfectly!

      Man, she’s a beautiful woman, though. That close-up is stunning.

  5. Sandra

    I wish everybody would stop with the necklines cut down to their xiphoid processes. Save the cleave for evening, please. Also, that shirt was made for a larger-framed person. It is much too wide and the sleeves are too long. I’m not a fan of leather skirts, but this one is perfectly fine if you like that sort of thing.

    So, yeah, a different shirt. In a color, please. And if I were choosing, I’d swap the Zombie-bot stare for a little bit of life, but they’re her eyes so I guess she can do what she wants about that.

    • Anne B

      Use of “xiphoid process” in a sentence: that’s a thing I can only find here, with the whip-smart members of Fug Nation.

      Gonna go ahead and hand you 100 Internet points for that. :)

  6. Allie

    I think she looks fabulous. Doesn’t matter if it’s a little plain, she looks hot and it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to say that about her.

  7. Gigi

    I can more than live with it! Love the green jools.

  8. Lynne

    Oh, Angie. You look gorgeous in that close up. So much better than the consumptive shots from the other day. Also, Heather, I will happily thumb wrestle you for that pendant. I’ve never been fond of the black skirt / white blouse combo but at least this fits her so good for her.

    Anyone else notice that Angie always looks better when Brad isn’t with her? Just me?

  9. OracleKath

    Considering the number of caftan photos of her? I will take this any day of the week and twice on Sunday. LOVE the jewelry. Hair is SO Middletonian and I LURVE IT!!

  10. Emily

    The jewelry is awesome. Like, really, really awesome. The rest is okay. I like the skirt, and I would be afraid that a color-rich shirt would take away from the fantastic jewelry. So, yeah, racy shoes would have been just the ticket.

  11. foo

    Emeralds are my favorite stone- the necklace and earrings are delicious- and I love the skirt. (Probably because I used to have one just like it until it was “borrowed”- read w/o permission- and returned to me with a gaping ass sack, about which I am still bitter. Obviously)

    I would wear it as is, other than more kick ass shoes. (A skinny t-strap with low front and funky heel or a well cut sling-back) Hair looks great.

  12. lc

    The blouse is what I’m having problems with, first off it looks a size too big, too much fabric above the waist and in the sleeve length. And….. it’s a total snooze.

  13. Jules

    Her outfit is forgettable, but I remember seeing her in emeralds at an awards show some years back, and they were HUGE and everyone was drooling over them.
    These don’t look the same but I’m glad she kept the theme.

  14. Ash Lee

    I love this.. I don’t think she is boring, I think she is classic. She has such a strong beauty I feel she can pull of simple lines and anything more would be too much. Plus, I need that skirt.

  15. marie

    if there was a woamn born to wear leather, it’s her..and i do think you’ve mentioned it here, when she wore a strapless leather dress during a Brad Pitt movie premier

  16. Anna Svahn

    Definitely better shoes are in order. These are BORING. And she is not boring, although she often dresses that way.

  17. Victoria

    I like it as it is. That pendant is AWESOME in its awesomeness, and overall she looks better than most recent times.

  18. KelseyA

    That emmmmmmmmmmerald *drools*

    But. I feel like the underwear situation up top is weird? It seems like I can see a beige bra. So my vote is a camisole, some cool shoes, and send me the necklace. Please?

  19. Cristina

    It may be sort of just there, but she looks tremendous.

  20. poppy

    It works for me because it is not Zbornakian. Any change from the caftans brings a Well Played from me.

    I am now going to try to work Zbornakian into my everyday conversations!

  21. Bella

    She’s rockin the simplicity of black/white with those fabulous emeralds. I don’t say it often about her, but kudos.

  22. Willow

    It’s just nice that she looks so alive, I was getting worried that she was a zombie.

  23. Chasmosaur

    What’s the context? If this is evening, far too informal. If it’s a lunch somewhere, maybe she was trying to dial it back.

    Really, my eyes just keep going back to those emeralds. I could care less about the clothes.

  24. Gine

    The shoes could definitely be better, but this is the best she’s looked in AGES.

  25. Lynne

    @poppy, I think you can officially consider Zbornakian part of the lexicon because I am totally using that the first chance I get and I doubt I’m the only one. Well done, you.

  26. Kris M

    I think it works because she has a gorgeous face. Some of us may need to up the wardrobe to make up for plain genetics, but she does not.

  27. corriner

    Wouldn’t it be amazing if she and Kate really WERE secret email pals?! I can just imagine all the discussions of the differences between American and British Royalty and those cloying fame-seeking Kardashians and what agency to go for the best high-end nannies, top vacations spots and the best ways to wrangle your man’s mane of lots of/too little hair… what I wouldn’t give to be party to those emails…

    I also think this is the best she has looked in ages. A nice combo of fierce leather Angie and Soft Mom Angie. (Plus, Giant Emerald are always a win in my eyes).

  28. mary lou bethune

    I don’t think she could be more beautiful that she is in this shot. There is nothing with which to quilbell, ladies… the height of female beauty for this day, 2012. the end
    it’s only downhill from now on, but I doubt she cares….

  29. ceecee

    She looks fabulous and I wouldn’t say no if she offered me that necklace but, damn, girl, smile a little. She looks like a mannequin, perfect but lifeless.

  30. Joyce

    “Middletonian”! “honey in the bear”! LOL! Yay! It’s a bit too business casual for me. Albeit a mutli billion dollar business. I love the emerald pendant and her Duchess of Cambridge hair, but not much else.

  31. megan

    this is some thing I would wear to dinner in winter but the leather skirt would be a mini (i’m only 27!) so I like it but its a bit zzz I think better shoes and it would be a win. but she is beautiful.

  32. Sara B.

    Since I would dress like this every day if I could, it’s probably not as good as it could be. (Just imagine, a different large gemstone hanging nonchalantly from my throat, a different fabulously expensive skirt and blouse made from luxurious fabrics, and a pair of lovely pumps every day. Wouldn’t it be loverly?)

  33. vandalfan

    I expect her to take our order for drinks, this is such a bore. The shoes MUST go, and I just hate smooth leather clothing in general. Maybe if it was suede, or a stunning tweed with a thread or two of some forest greens and chocolates and charcoal greys.

  34. LG

    For a NORMAL preternaturally-gorgeous celeb with gazillions of dollars and five stylists and a whole army of people at their beck and call, I give this a big fat Zzzzzzzzz… *snort* Huh? Sorry, I fell asleep there for a sec. Can you come back and wake me when you’re wearing a color? And practice smiling between now and then. No, smiling’s the one where people can see your teeth but you DON’T look angry.

    For Angie, however, it’s like the clouds have parted and I hear angels singing and she has remembered the truth: “Oh right, I DO have a slammin’ bod, and I’m so rich I can use THIS hundred dollar bill to light the OTHER hundred dollar bills stacked up in the fireplace to create some romantic ambiance for me and Brad, and designers ARE Mission-Impossible-ing $$$ gowns into my closet from helicopters and shit! Maybe I can wear something besides Stevie Nicks’ Designer Burqas for my next event!”

  35. fernichiwa

    i think she looks hot. but then, i totally get her style. uber simple. no layers, nothing unnecessary, nothing extraneous. clearly she dresses to please herself – which i also get :)

  36. Sadie

    Wow, Angie wore black leather. Again. And emerald jewelry. Again. Wake me when she completely gives up and comes out wearing Shiloh’s “montenegro style” clothes.

  37. Marvelous A

    HA! Sandra, I had to Google ‘xiphoid process.” Now I’ve downloaded an anatomy game app. Thanks a lot.

    This woman is hot. I don’t care what she wears or if she smiles. I just like looking at her.

  38. exquisite red

    Take away the accessories, and this is another snoozer. (Although yes, hair does look better! And I do like her make-up.) The top looks much too large. It’s not so much that it’s cut down to there…it might not be if she were wearing the right size! Funny, so many celebs have the opposite problem, not knowing when to go up a size.

    I’d say totally different top, color (what about yellow or red? would still pop with the green) and size (and possibly shape, too). It wouldn’t have to be form-fitting, as long as it fit. The skirt is take-it-or-leave-it. Angie likes leather, but at least she looks decent in it. I think a better shoe is also definitely in order.

  39. Saz

    That is one big emerald.

  40. Sky

    Shoes definitely have to be better. I just spent 60 seconds on Zappos and found a dozen hotter pairs for her.

    And am I crazy or would this also be improved by a really kick-ass belt. Something in the black leather, but laser cut and wide.

  41. Mahastee

    Angie seems to have a penchant for amazing emeralds, which I love her for, as diamonds are so booooring. Being Angie, I have faith that they are conflict-free.

    Maybe the blouse could be something in a charcoal grey and a boat neckline? In cashmere? Too much colour would compete with the gems, and we can’t have that.

  42. Scanderoon

    The only thing that’s really bothering me about the look is where the cuffs of the blouse sit on her hands. She has such impossibly skinny wrists that they nearly cover half her hand, when I think they’re supposed to sit back farther and make the sleeve a bit more blouse-y. Maybe I’d tailor them in, so they’d sit in the right place? Though that would risk looking weird because like I said, her wrists are mega-skinny.

    Also, a non-black shoe. But considering what she usually wears, this is a breath of fresh air!

  43. meow

    She’s undeniably beautiful. Whoever she’s using to ‘tox her face clearly knows what they’re doing. Her skin looks great and her hair is nice. But she’s just so dang bobbleheaded. You know each outfit and look and Brange appearance is carefully tailored to maximize PR, for all that she doesn’t have a stylist. I miss sexy, Hackers era, pre nose job Angelina who made no bones about her limited acting skills and wasn’t so self important.

    • Miss Louise

      Amen to that, although I’d just love to see a woman who’s got the courage not to do the ‘tox. One of the most captivating things in the first image are those small signs of ageing in her cheeks – much more appealing than the sculpted nose. I also like that she doesn’t use a stylist, but none of us on this site need a personal stylist to tell us those shoes are a snooze.

    • Christian

      I call for a fug history of Angelina from the Fug Girls!

  44. Michele

    Gorgeous! She really is stunning. Love the emeralds. Love the skirt. Blouse and shoes are okay. I keep going back to her gorgeous face and healthy, shiny hair!

  45. crystal

    She looks less emaciated with usual and those emeralds are bangin’, so I’ll call it a win. Plus the leather skirt reminds me of the old, fun Angie!

  46. ddukes

    something bad happened to me from the waist down. a shock of a sort. can’t quite figure it. had such high hopes from the close up.

  47. swishmusic

    Oh my goodness I really don’t mean to sound slightly deranged but I can’t tell you how much I love your posts. The hilarity, the spot on-ness, it’s almost too much to bear. I can’t decide whether I prefer it when you like something or hate it. Both incite some kind of feeling of complete agreement and appreciation, I think the positive girl in me likes the fab and well played posts better. And you feel the same way about Daniel Craig and Ryan Gosling as I do, so, well, what more is there to say?

    Thank you for your wonderful and constantly hilarious site! Love it!

    • swishmusic

      By the way, yes, Angelina is totally rocking it. This pic could have been from 7 years ago or today – I do love the classic-ness of her choices. Timeless almost. Plus the cheekbones and bones all around help too.

  48. DressedWell

    We love the shirt and necklace. Its the skirt we arent so sure about…

  49. Lise E R

    A different shoe, maybe just a black peep-toe? The rest (including Angelina AND the magnificent emerald) is just pure beauty

  50. Berglind

    I really like the outfit, but agree about the shoes, slightly glamme-fied one’s wouldn’t have hurt at all. However, I don’t think that’s her style. She is a very serious dresser.
    LOVE the term “Middeltonian”. Just lovely.

  51. Sajorina

    GORGEOUS!!! I think it’s FAB enough… It’s elegant without looking too relaxed & it’s bold with a splash of leather and patent leather without looking too sexy-secretary by day/dominatrix by night! It’s just PERFECT! And, OMG, with the beautiful hair, flawless face & makeup, and precious jewel it’s a WIN for Angelina! LOVE!!!

    • Sajorina

      *Precious Jewels* I totally forgot about the earrings, which I adore!

  52. melanie

    The first photo is lovely, where you can just see her head. But then in the second photo where you see her head in juxtaposition with the rest of her body, it just makes me sad.

  53. Carolina Girl

    I think the Fug Girls should do for the word “Middletonian” what Dan Savage did for “Santorum”. That is, redefine it as “relating to chestnut brown hair resembling the thick, lustrous locks of the Duchess of Cambridge”.

  54. Caroleena Stantonova

    The entire ensemble is fabu.

  55. Katharine

    She looks fine. She’s at the top of the heap amongst her peers, so it’s a statement of alpha power for her NOT to participate in the Best Most Outrageously Dressed scrum with everyone else. I have to respect that, even if I’m baffled by her position there.

    • ddukes

      sorry, she could do that and still no be so f-ugh. this is really bad nineties and i would like to hit her over the head with one of hose stupid shoes and whip her silly with that oudated ill fitting leather skirt, and then sit her down on some rubber sheets to talk about when pops of color fail. i don’t care if his is the crown jewel, it’s just not working.

  56. gryt

    Daymed is she beautiful!

  57. Rowynn

    I’ve never been a person who wore jewelry, but if I did, man, that is the kind I’d want to wear. Simple, elegant, and KA-POW!

  58. Rebecca



    And I don’t mean just your jewelry.

    In fact,
    I’m going to take that pendant away from you, young lady,
    until you start dressing in something *besides* beige, black, white, and bleah.

  59. FurryPurry

    I very much disagree with the shoes being boring… Is that a killer heel or what?

    I do think she funk up that blouse a bit (if any just go for a more silver/pewter shade – I would love to suggest a colour but this is Angelina) just to make it more evening. She is attending a film gala, not working one as part of the catering staff.

  60. Diego C

    Every time I’ve seen her over the last few years, it’s like she’s been on a really slow bus to Maria Shrivertown….and this outfit just took her within city limits.

  61. Andrea Karim

    The skirt could be green, not quite the same tone as the jewels. Or the shoes could be green. One of the two.

  62. AO

    I agree with the criticisms (secretary/waitress-like, bad fit, and weary-from-hunger vacuous stare). Moreover, the hair in the second picture is still rather limp. Rather than time-less, it lacks any sense of adventure. Fug-girls, your usual critical edge is blunted around the idolized Ange.

  63. Coco

    The only time I can gt myself to care about the Ang is when she wears emeralds. That is a powerful jewel.

  64. JanetP

    Remember when you fell in love with her over the Marie Claire cover? Yeah. That’s me right now.


  65. Stephanie

    I wish she had a nice, wide, red cinch belt here — with red lips to match — that would liven this outfit up nicely.

  66. Tish

    Shoes to match the emeralds!

  67. Veronica

    I like the outfit overall, though I think I’d have changed up the shirt to something a little more jazzy. I think I’d have also liked to see some color on her lips. She seems vaguely washed out to me outside of the close-up, though that may have just been a trick of the lighting.

  68. Mukel

    She looks great. With a face like that, and the hair looking awesome… you don’t need to go crazy with the clothes.

  69. thebutlerdidit

    Totally agree. I hate those loose, flowy dresses with the 1970′s full sleeves. I normally would say no extensions, ever, but maybe if she added just a few, maybe to keep the top a little fuller, added 10-15 lbs, and carried either finishing powder or blotting cloths, she’d be 100%. She looked seriously ill for quite a while there, and almost looks like she’s coming out the other side. NVM about St. Ang, when can we give Brad a bath and a cut? And contacts?

  70. lisa91

    Really want that skirt to be cobalt blue.

  71. Lori

    As usual, she’s got the glassy-eyed, drugged out stare thing going. Scary skinny too. I don’t see anything attractive about her anymore.

  72. Lily1214

    Lovely, as always.