Vanity Fair Oscar Party Fug Carpet: Brooklyn Decker

Another model whose face is doing all the work here.

That jacket is so boxy you could store your knick-knacks in it, the pleats are meh, and the shoes DEAR GOD THE SHOES ARE SO AWFUL. She looks like she dipped her feet in a jar of tahini and then put them in the freezer.

Seriously, that IS the type of thing someone wears if she’s pregnant and really freaked out about people noticing, because sometimes the stuff you do as evasive tactics is more obvious than just wearing what you have. I am not speculating here, because I do not know her life; more commenting that  it’s REALLY strange to have on something that unflattering if you AREN’T hiding a uterine secret because then people just call into question your eyeballs.

[Photo: Getty]

Leave a reply

Comments (19):

  1. BrownEyedBetty

    Brooklyn Decker in the role of Vanilla Custard in the school play. Do they give out Oscars for most boring outfit?

  2. Sandra

    Is she auditioning for the Mr. Roarke role in a “re-imagining” Fantasy Island ? That is the only possible reasonable explanation for this. There are lots of crazeball ones, though.

  3. Kate

    Those SHOES look like she stole them from very boring elves.

  4. Nina

    Very ho-hum. The blazer definitely looks bigger in the front, not majorly so, but enough to be noticed. Her frame is already tiny, so it’s easy for clothing like that to engulf her.

  5.  HelenBackAgain

    And her face isn’t working very hard, either. She looks like a baby turkey in the rain.

  6.  Natalie

    Well, her face looks fabulous. As does her hair. That’s about all I can say about this.

  7. Mary

    David Byrne called and he does NOT want his suit back because he was over it about 25 years ago.

    • Edith

      Damn, I was coming here to make the David Byrne reference! But his at least was a crisp white, not this dingy cream!

    • Elbyem

      And then she asked herself, “How did I get here”? But seriously – would this color flatter ANYONE? It’s so “old lady in Florida nursing home.”

  8. Maria L.

    She looks like she dipped her feet in a jar of tahini and then put them in the freezer.

    That phrase is so wonderfully evocative, I am beside myself with joy.

  9. Gypsy Danger

    Frozen tahini. Hilarious. That is all.

  10. G

    The combination of baggy jacket and completely missing shirt so said baggy jacket exposes lots of sternum is particularly dopey looking. This would have less heinous with shell underneath in a dark or bright color.

  11.  Jill

    Now I want hummus. (And this is terrible.)

  12. Galina

    Her outfit is really boaring!

  13.  Sally

    Please, God – is Oscar coverage almost over? Because I have been late to work EVERY DAY THIS WEEK! No self control when Fug Girls and Fug Nation are involved.

  14. anna
  15. Yuliya

    Those shoes make me sad.