I can not sincerely fug this, given that I am delighted by how utterly OTT it is:
In all sincerity, what else do you wear to the Soul Train Awards? She is bringing sparkly Disco Realness, and she looks exactly like the girl with whom you strike up an intense but short-lived friendship at the bar while you’re both waiting for your Harvey Wallbangers. She tells you everything that’s wrong with the dumb guy she brought to the party, and you explain to her how irritated you are that your lip gloss just exploded in your purse. You part as friends and then are really, really excited to run into each other in the bathroom later. We all know that girl. She’s fun.