Fug File: Teen Choice Awards

Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fab: Nina Dobrev in Vionnet


I’d just like to publicly thank Nina Dobrev for giving us the perfect visual representation of my oft sung refrain, “and then Kellan Lutz showed up.”

[Photos: AKM/GSI, Getty, Splash]

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Teen Choice Awards Well Played: Hailee Steinfeld in Elie Saab


Let’s just leave aside the fact that her facial expression is unimpressed — although I am impressed with her eyebrows:

There is a lot about this that could have gone wrong: so many patterns, so many potentially rogue sheer patches, so much — as a friend of mine used to say — of a muchness.  This dress is like a Jell-O salad: if everything goes well, it’s both visually stimulating and surprisingly good, but if things go awry, you’re just disgusted at what a crazy mess it is. Lucky, this thing set up beautifully overnight and I, for one, am delighted. I will have seconds, thank you very much.

[Photo: AKM/GSI]

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Fug, Fines, and WTF: Various Kardashian/Jenner Offspring


I don’t know how Kim has not figured out that tight skirts with horizontal patterns across her hips do NOT do for her what she thinks they do.

Kylie Jenner, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Teen Choice Awards

But I mean, apart from looking like something you could buy on The Sims for your bangin’ bachelor pad, Kim actually is not the problem here. Nor is Kylie. No, it’s Kendall who needs a Get-a-Grip Friend to tell her she looks like she’s wearing rotting linens. Beyond that, though, the whole outfit feels like something Angie Harmon would wear, but with actual finished pant legs, and Angie Harmon — whom I love, conceptually — IS IN HER FORTIES. Kendall is eighteen. It’s cool to want to grow up to be Angie Harmon — I will feel that way until I die, I suspect — but not when you still have like THIRTY YEARS to get there.

However. Kendall did not have the worst sartorial weekend of the lot.

that honor goes to Kourtney

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Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Shailene Woodley in Peter Pilotto


“Hello. Mama Shailene again.”

Shailene Woodley, Teen Choice Awards 2014, Peter Pilotto

“When you’re done at the sweat lodge, come on outside and bake your labia like a clay pot in the kiln that is sunshine. I’ll be over here finding you some blankets to turn into vestments.”

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[Photo: Splash]

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Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fab: Taylor Swift in Novis


I could as easily see this on Taylor coming out of the gym as on the red carpet — and she is the only person in the world right now about whom that sentence is a compliment.

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[Photos: AKM-GSI Getty]

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Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Chloe Grace Moretz


This is an entire outfit from the Valentino Resort show, except for the shoes – and I think we can ALL agree that it’s a blessing she picked the Stuart Weitzmans, even if we’re sick of that style.

Chloe Grace Moretz in Valentino, Teen Choice Awards

The rest of it is a whole lot of pretty fabric, reconceived as a whole lot of Sassy Matador Groupie Who Hangs Out At A Dive Called The Bull Horns Drinking Dos Equis And Starting Fights With People Who Just Don’t Get It. Seriously, whatever the bullfighting equivalent of drag racing is, she’s the one out there waving the flag, waiting for the plucky winner to claim her heart.

[Photo: Splash]

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Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fab: Lea Michele in Fausto Puglisi


She DID just spend a bunch of time on a boat with her new boyfriend, so it’s POSSIBLE that both the tan and the highlights are real.

But the hair LOOKS like a wig she just pulled out of a plastic bag in her attic — the one marked VACATION HAIR — and plopped on her head after a quick back-combing. All of that rolled together gives her a Real Housewives of Cougar Town vibe that undercuts the cute pattern on the dress itself. Which, by the way, I correctly called for this exact event. I just wish I were more tickled to see it.

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[Photo: AKM-GSI]

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