I confessed at our Boston book signings the truth about Pretty Little Liars, and it is that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING on that show right now. NONE. What anyone’s motivations are and who is doing what and why don’t they just look for the person in town who appears to have the greatest amount of technological omnipresence and then whack that person over the head with a heavy object and see if the texts stop? The plot has gotten so inextricably twisted that I don’t know if they can untwist it without having an episode where Laura Leighton sits down in a wingback armchair and speaks directly to the camera for an hour to explain it all. At least everyone looks pretty.
Fug File: Teen Choice Awards
I’m not going to lie, I really wish this were one piece instead of two.
But I guess the two-piece thing is going to happen whether I want it to or not, so maybe I just have to get on the damn bike and try to pedal and hope it doesn’t give me a crotch bruise.
Two out of three ain’t bad.
Also known as, the post where I alternately covet everything shiny and display an inability to deal with Kids Getting Older and wanting to show off more of their thighs. I’ll try to stay rational. FOR YOU.
[Photos: Getty, Splash, WENN]
I thought we were done with these.
Seeing a perfectly cute cocktail frock ruined by a mullet, wanting to chase her around with hedge-clippers until I can lop off the tail, hoping I don’t get arrested… I feel like it’s 2007 again and Carrie Underwood is singing about jacking some dude’s ride with her baseball bat.