Fug File: Olympics

Fab the Costumes: Synchronized Swimming at the 2016 Rio Olympics


Every four years I watch the synchro contest and think, “My pool handstands are WEAK. MUST GET TO TRAINING.” Then I reach for some chips, so you can imagine how that’s gone.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Well Played: The Marvelous Muscles of the Rio Olympics Track and Field


You guys. The human body is amazing.  And also beautiful.

[PS: If you're looking for our traditional swimmers post, you can see those abs and biceps right here.]

[Photos: Getty Images]

react:

Well Played: The Glorious Swimming Abs of the Rio Olympics


You loved them in London. Now, romance them in Rio. I am pleased to bring to you, once again, the finest abs (and arms, and legs, and dimples, and also, surprisingly, glasses) of the Olympic pool.

[Photos: Getty Images, Tony G]

react:

Your Afternoon Men: Arms of the Male Gymnasts at the Rio 2016 Olympics


The Wall Street Journal wrote an article the other day about how our male gymnasts WANT to be objectified. So I’m really just giving them what they want.

The premise of the piece is that men’s gymnastics is not nearly as popular as the women’s division, and while there is no overlooking the fact that this is because the men’s team is also not nearly as TALENTED, I like Sam Mikulak’s quote anyway:

“Maybe compete with our shirts off,” said U.S. star Sam Mikulak, the four-time, reigning all-around national champion. “People make fun of us for wearing tights. But if they saw how yoked we are maybe that would make a difference.”

Ergo: Look how yoked they are.

P.S. I knew as soon as NBC kept showing swim semis, and not the advertised gymnastics, that the men’s team had gone splat. But I’m hugely bothered for them, their families, their communities, and sports fans like me that NBC decided not to bother with them once they didn’t make the podium. They worked just as hard as any other team to get to Rio, so I’d have liked to support them in good times and in bad; furthermore, the competition was actually EXTREMELY tense and included one team quitting and two others in a hot battle for gold. NBC has gone on-record as saying women don’t care about the results of sports; they just want sob stories and drama. Well, up yours for that nasty, backward bit of sexism, NBC.

I don’t say this often, but: Learn from ESPN. When they decide not to show a scheduled event, they kick it down to ESPN2 or ESPNU and tell you about it. NBC has made a huge deal out of how many THOUSANDS of hours of Olympics coverage they are theoretically offering, and across how many different TV channels in the NBC Uni family, and yet NONE of them had space for the men’s competition? Streaming live is not an option for most people, so once USA’s scheduled coverage is done, boot the Law & Order marathons for three hours and let the gymnastics breathe there, if you ABSOLUTELY MUST evict it. Don’t just be gross and act like primetime only belongs to those who bring home spoils. How about human interest? How about the wonderful, heartening pep talk our guys gave to each other after the roughest night of their gymnastics lives? How about the lesson for our watching kids that class and sportsmanship and never-say-die are as much part of the Olympic spirit as winning? Shame on you, NBC. You’re not here for the athletes, you’re here for the dollars. We always knew it, but now it’s tattooed on your legacy.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Well Played: The Women’s Gymnastics Finals at Rio 2016 Olympics


A couple leotard changes, a couple that stayed the same, and some pretty hardware.

(PS: If you missed our coverage of everyone’s leos during the qualification round, it’s here!)

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Spoiler-Free Fabs: The Women’s Gymnastics Qualifying Round


The women’s finals are today – if they are happening when you read this PLEASE DON’T TELL MEEEEE ANYTHING — and I can’t remember if they change up their leotards or not. So, we might as well get REAL STOKED about them while appreciating the outfits from Sunday’s Day 1 qualifiers, just in case we see something new.

Also, sometimes I just want to look at cool gymnastics photos. Is that so wrong?

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Fugs and Fabs: The 2016 Olympics Opening Ceremony/Parade of Nations in Rio


I know this is neither a photo of the ceremony itself nor the Parade of Nations, but how could I NOT open with Nadia Comăneci carrying a little checkered purse? It’s NADIA. I clap involuntarily every time I see her name, much less her face.

A note: Please know that, even if I’m making a goofy joke or poking fun at the clothes, I LOVE the Opening Ceremonies. I love them when they’re touching, I love them when they’re silly, I love them when they’re confusing, I love when when they’re perfect, I love them when they’re long, or incomprehensible, or hideous; I love them when the clothes are cute and totally buyable and I love them when they’re disappointingly frumpy. The IOC is, sadly, not the committee these athletes deserve, but I love the Olympics themselves and every time I see the teams enter with such joy and pride on their faces, I clutch at my own face because all my feelings are starting to burst out of it. This post is therefore, as ever, written with complete affection.

Also: We couldn’t cover all the nations, because a) that’s too many, and b) they weren’t all available to us in our subscription. Those that I missed, I did not skip to be mean, so please do link in the comments to the ones you loved that I couldn’t show.

[Photos: Getty]

react: