The above-pictured team is France, because OBVIOUSLY I was going to show you that picture first because WHAT. And they did fight their way into fourth in the final standings. But the big news is the United States winning its first medal in this event in 20 years. It was a silver — there was no catching China — but I thought, and this is not simply homerism, that their routines were the most fun and captivating and creative, keyed by super music and unusual moves. I was VERY proud of our ladies! The subplot for LA 2028 is that men are now allowed to compete — up to two, I believe? — but it just so happens that none of them made the teams this year. It seems likely that barrier will break in four years, though, and in the meantime they invited American contender Bill May to do les trois coups.
They reskinned this event several years ago as “artistic swimming,” I think because there are so many acrobatic elements in here that do not require complete unison. And it honestly has everything: the acrobatics of gymnastics, the endurance of water polo, the precision of diving, and the costumes of… I don’t even know. Mardi Gras? It was a joy to behold. The announcers walked this hilarious line between, “Please try out this sport, it’s amazing,” and, “It’s REALLY hard… um, but don’t panic or let that turn you off, we don’t expect you to do this right away.”
The competition lasted three rounds: technical, free, and acrobatic. I’ve featured the costumes in the order of the final standings. Sidebar: One of the Broads in our Olympics chats pointed us to a link where an artistic swimmer takes down her hair, and it will have you gripped from the first ten seconds. WHAT. I want a reality show on the making of synchro costumes and all associated logistics, and I want it yesterday.
